Spanner Chapter 14 is completely edited now, with the last two installments posting this week. Now I turn from the difficult to the epic. Chapter 15 will have no flashbacks and scenarios to insert, no backstory reveals to remind you that "everything you know is wrong" (title of a future chapter, by the way). The skeleton of the Revision 1 and 2 narrative will remain intact, including certain pivotal scenes (even if they're not in the same places they were in R2).
However, I'll be changing enough of Chapter 15 for Revision 4 that it'll seem a completely different creature in comparison to the R2 version. In fact, I still find myself throwing in new ideas even as I begin to edit: the central three girls' nude swim to Seattle using dolphin-type flippers in 15.1, the disguised anarchists in 15.2 infiltrating the freelance police COPCO temporarily hired, the video body paint from 10.5 advanced technologically to give Team Bremelo's nudefighters cloaking ability (plus even more new cyberpunk elements added to the originals), Dick Becket actually using his superpowers in rage during 15.5 (his public-domain superhero identity: the Scarab, eighth of his Phantom-type lineage), and so on. I'll be strengthening story elements already present: the concert-style holographic projections of King Patriot's Ego and a 900-foot Jesus America; the hacked copbots actually arresting everybody in range before they start beating each other up; Leila's own newly developing superpowers (which I wrote about over a decade-long span in the Project Notebooks), the end of Amanda's network-reporting career, etc.
My goal for Chapter 15 is the same as that for the aborted Revision 3 version: a genuine "WHAM! Episode" after which nothing will be the same again, either in the in-story politics or the story itself. Of course, looking back, I notice Spanner actually began with a wham (both the Intro and Chapter 1) and is liberally sprinkled with wham throughout; Shira herself is a master of the Wham Line, even if she doesn't use this skill as liberally as she should. But this is the first big one after the "seventh-episode twist" that actually occurred in Chapter 8 (Shira rescuing Leila from suicide, followed by them becoming a couple, kicking off the central relationship line), with the next big "wham" scheduled for Chapters 22 and 23. But what happens in Chapter 15 has repercussions that echo throughout the rest of the series and even threaten to destroy not just the American Empire but the world. The difference between Revision 4 and previous drafts is that, because it allows an editor to separate, combine, and rearrange scenes, yWriter5 makes it easy for me to build a rising narrative and even send it spinning out of control (which it's supposed to do in 15.5).
I will say no more. Instead, I'll go back to editing Chapter 15, with this parting comment: if you've read the Revision 1 or 2 version, the final version will surprise you.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
More Thoughts on the Political Thriller
As I write this, I've just finished editing Spanner Chapter 14, and the final two installments are ready and scheduled to post. 14.5 is still the "heavy metal gang war" episode, and 14.6 is still something of a breather episode. But looking back, I marvel at how much I've changed them to fit the final continuity. They're much more a part of the greater political thriller plot than their second-draft versions.
I've found myself seriously annoyed by the great mass of thrillers these days. Most psychological thrillers strongly imply that only the police can save the day. Most political thrillers these days, unlike their 1970s counterparts, are right-wing plots that state straight out that only government superagents can save the day, and they're usually FBI, CIA, or Navy SEALs. I've criticized the left-wing political thrillers in an earlier post for exalting a hero, usually either a guerrilla or an investigative journalist, at the expense of mass action; in Spanner, I'm striving to correct this by making it clear that against the American Empire, Echelon-NORAD, and every giant corporation in the world including the Chinese government a.k.a. Chinese Communist Party (Holdings) Ltd., the mere heroes of Team Bremelo or even Team Spanner don't stand a chance unless they can somehow wake up the masses; it all comes down to "the sanction of the victim". The current flood of right-wing political thrillers takes this to its logical conclusion: assuming the absolute passivity of the masses, heroes cannot succeed without the government, and therefore the government and its all-powerful neoconservative establishment are not only the true heroes but the only possible heroes. Going one step further, you have the Evangelical Christian thrillers written by the likes of Frank Peretti, in which the heroes are helpless against absolute evil until Jesus and his angels take over their fight. Paradigmatic of this rightward shift is the quick and easy conversion of a left-wing thriller into a right-wing one by the ghostwriter of Glenn Beck's The Overton Window. If Beck ended up (co-)writing one of the worst thrillers ever, something like Zero Dark Thirty is exactly what he was aiming to create.
So the usual assumption is that either the masses are passive, as in most political thrillers on the left as well as the right, or downright evil, as Spanner's Conservative Revolutionaries blatantly state following the example of Ayn Rand. Thing is, the thriller-writing establishment is as conservative as Glenn Beck, which is why he fit right in so easily despite his (and his ghostwriters') lack of writing skills. Hollywood is just as conservative: considering my low opinion of Hollywood awards, I'm willing to bet money that Zero Dark Thirty will sweep the Oscars in particular, as a love letter to the lords of Military-Industrial Complex by their fellow Corporates in the Intellectual Property monopoly cartel. This is exactly what I call #msmfail.
And so I'm writing my own political thriller my way. Naturally, it's starting as a blog novel, and its next incarnation will be as an ebook. The Corporate "lamestream" won't touch it with a ten-foot pole because of its political incorrectness. No doubt the Corporates are criticizing me in Stalinist terms of "false consciousness" since thinking for oneself is and has always been by definition a crime against the divine right of Authority. To which I reply as always: À bas les néoconos! Right-wing Stalinism of the ultra-rich is the only possible form of government today? I'll continue to think otherwise. Call me utopian, but I still think the old order is doomed. The only question is whether humanity wants to survive long enough to create a new democratic order. Me, I'll just keep writing.
I've found myself seriously annoyed by the great mass of thrillers these days. Most psychological thrillers strongly imply that only the police can save the day. Most political thrillers these days, unlike their 1970s counterparts, are right-wing plots that state straight out that only government superagents can save the day, and they're usually FBI, CIA, or Navy SEALs. I've criticized the left-wing political thrillers in an earlier post for exalting a hero, usually either a guerrilla or an investigative journalist, at the expense of mass action; in Spanner, I'm striving to correct this by making it clear that against the American Empire, Echelon-NORAD, and every giant corporation in the world including the Chinese government a.k.a. Chinese Communist Party (Holdings) Ltd., the mere heroes of Team Bremelo or even Team Spanner don't stand a chance unless they can somehow wake up the masses; it all comes down to "the sanction of the victim". The current flood of right-wing political thrillers takes this to its logical conclusion: assuming the absolute passivity of the masses, heroes cannot succeed without the government, and therefore the government and its all-powerful neoconservative establishment are not only the true heroes but the only possible heroes. Going one step further, you have the Evangelical Christian thrillers written by the likes of Frank Peretti, in which the heroes are helpless against absolute evil until Jesus and his angels take over their fight. Paradigmatic of this rightward shift is the quick and easy conversion of a left-wing thriller into a right-wing one by the ghostwriter of Glenn Beck's The Overton Window. If Beck ended up (co-)writing one of the worst thrillers ever, something like Zero Dark Thirty is exactly what he was aiming to create.
So the usual assumption is that either the masses are passive, as in most political thrillers on the left as well as the right, or downright evil, as Spanner's Conservative Revolutionaries blatantly state following the example of Ayn Rand. Thing is, the thriller-writing establishment is as conservative as Glenn Beck, which is why he fit right in so easily despite his (and his ghostwriters') lack of writing skills. Hollywood is just as conservative: considering my low opinion of Hollywood awards, I'm willing to bet money that Zero Dark Thirty will sweep the Oscars in particular, as a love letter to the lords of Military-Industrial Complex by their fellow Corporates in the Intellectual Property monopoly cartel. This is exactly what I call #msmfail.
And so I'm writing my own political thriller my way. Naturally, it's starting as a blog novel, and its next incarnation will be as an ebook. The Corporate "lamestream" won't touch it with a ten-foot pole because of its political incorrectness. No doubt the Corporates are criticizing me in Stalinist terms of "false consciousness" since thinking for oneself is and has always been by definition a crime against the divine right of Authority. To which I reply as always: À bas les néoconos! Right-wing Stalinism of the ultra-rich is the only possible form of government today? I'll continue to think otherwise. Call me utopian, but I still think the old order is doomed. The only question is whether humanity wants to survive long enough to create a new democratic order. Me, I'll just keep writing.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Spanner 14.4: When the Cat's Away
← ...from previous
“I’m glad you’re safe,” says Rio to the naked girls in the Mustang. Shira, Jennifer, and the girl with the violet eyes left their uniforms at school.
AEGIS is far more worried. “If you girls keep this up, they’ll kill you!”
Shira winks back. “We’re willing to risk it.”
“Like the proverb says,” Jennifer adds, “it’s better to die on your feet than live on your knees.”
“Besides,” says the violet-eyed beauty, “what better way to express your love for life than to cheat death regularly?”
The Mustang heads for downtown Bremerton on an empty highway. Outside the city, the fleeing traffic moves slowly, but at least it now moves. Three packed vans among them, each carrying one Shield protecting maybe one Positive: one has three librarians (Sally, Kitty, Chris) in the middle seat, three teachers (Elsie, Yasmin, and Eugene) in the back seat, Sylvia in the passenger seat and Charlie protecting her as she drives to Ocean City; Taylor drives those Richter-Thomases not staying out to Port Townsend; and Desiree driving Shira’s nameless neighbours, Ruby, Elle, Ayla, and Lucie. “Do we really have to go away?” asks Ayla.
“Only for the weekend, sweetheart,” Desiree replies. ”Mother’s family are coming to wreck the city, so we need to find a safe place where they can’t hurt you.”
Elle asks, “Will we get away from them in time?”
“It’s only Thursday, Elle. We’re four days early, so we should get to Ocean City sometime tonight and avoid all the insanity in the big city. We’ll have the whole weekend to spend on the beach.”
“Really?”
“At the special place where your Aunt Charlie and I spent our honeymoon.”
Ayla gasps. “I didn’t know sisters could get married!”
“We did. But it’s a long story, so I’ll explain it to you girls when we get there.”
“So why’s Shira staying behind?” asks Elle.
“She says she’s got a little present she wants to give to Mother and her big brothers.”
“Is Kira still alive?”
“Shira thinks so.”
The nameless women in back say nothing. They hold each other’s hands, take deep breaths, cross their fingers. Ayla looks at the stranger sitting next to her, leaning back in Elle’s arms. “What’s your name again? I forgot.“
Lucie seriously thinks about it. Suddenly she is overwhelmed by a burst of inspiration. “Luna.” She smiles radiantly, knowing in her heart she has done the right thing. “Luna Cerise.”
Desiree stares back at Lucie in shock. Ruby asks, “What’s wrong?”
“That is her name,” she sighs. She looks back at the road. Her voice now trembles with joy. “She just chose her own name!”
All her passengers cheer, except a stunned Ayla, who simply marvels, “Sugoi.” They laugh.
By the time they get to Gorst, where the highways to Tacoma and out of the city meet, the traffic nearly stops as two traffic streams merge. “Wow,” says Ruby, “there’s a lot of people trying to get out of town already.”
“Oh, this is nothing.”
The backup stretches as far as the eye can see, past the airport, all the way beyond Shelton and even Olympia. The sun begins to set. Desiree takes her camera out of the glovebox and takes pictures.
Shira, Jennifer, and Leila do not evacuate. Jennifer drives the Mustang back to downtown Bremerton, to Shira’s apartment building. When they open her door, they find not just Catalina wagging and licking, overjoyed as ever to welcome them home, but also, sitting on the couch, already nude with a fighting boots at her feet—Melody?
Jennifer crosses her arms. “Melody, aren’t you supposed to be leaving the city with your mothers?”
“No,” Melody says. “They told me to stay here and go with you. I’m your protector.”
The girl with the violet eyes puts her hands on her hips and cocks her head. “Aren’t that gang of rogue superheroes a bit much for you?”
“Do you have superpowers, Miss Factor Positive?” The two girls stare each other down.
The traffic continues to stream out of the city, gradually faster, as the sun goes down and the city goes dark.
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 14: Plots and Plans
Part 4: When the Cat’s Away (Revision 4)
Part 4: When the Cat’s Away (Revision 4)
Pictures of the damage, of bloodstained halls and bullet-ridden walls and inconsolable students crying their hearts out, flood the Darknet and even surface on the controlled Internet. Party sites resound with praise for the shooters reclaiming their Manhood and condemnation for their losing it by dying or fleeing. No one dares mention the variously brave, reckless, and suicidal young women who confronted the shooters without their clothes, out of fear that the Party militants will hunt them down and avenge their fallen comrades’ lost Manhood; the naked heroines themselves, to avoid publicity, have long since left in separate cars.Fox: There has just been a deadly shooting at a high school in suburban Seattle—Sun: Police, ambulances, and grief counsellors are swarming onto the scene—ABCNN: Let us join in remembrance of our ABCNN News colleagues who died in the Bangor High shooting, our entire Instant News Team except for one camera operator—QVCBS: The rest tonight’s programming will be dedicated to honoring our fallen comrades, we don’t care what you think—ESPNBC: The sole survivng Instant News Team member, Amanda Currie, is now being hospitalized in stable condition—
“I’m glad you’re safe,” says Rio to the naked girls in the Mustang. Shira, Jennifer, and the girl with the violet eyes left their uniforms at school.
AEGIS is far more worried. “If you girls keep this up, they’ll kill you!”
Shira winks back. “We’re willing to risk it.”
“Like the proverb says,” Jennifer adds, “it’s better to die on your feet than live on your knees.”
“Besides,” says the violet-eyed beauty, “what better way to express your love for life than to cheat death regularly?”
The Mustang heads for downtown Bremerton on an empty highway. Outside the city, the fleeing traffic moves slowly, but at least it now moves. Three packed vans among them, each carrying one Shield protecting maybe one Positive: one has three librarians (Sally, Kitty, Chris) in the middle seat, three teachers (Elsie, Yasmin, and Eugene) in the back seat, Sylvia in the passenger seat and Charlie protecting her as she drives to Ocean City; Taylor drives those Richter-Thomases not staying out to Port Townsend; and Desiree driving Shira’s nameless neighbours, Ruby, Elle, Ayla, and Lucie. “Do we really have to go away?” asks Ayla.
“Only for the weekend, sweetheart,” Desiree replies. ”Mother’s family are coming to wreck the city, so we need to find a safe place where they can’t hurt you.”
Elle asks, “Will we get away from them in time?”
“It’s only Thursday, Elle. We’re four days early, so we should get to Ocean City sometime tonight and avoid all the insanity in the big city. We’ll have the whole weekend to spend on the beach.”
“Really?”
“At the special place where your Aunt Charlie and I spent our honeymoon.”
Ayla gasps. “I didn’t know sisters could get married!”
“We did. But it’s a long story, so I’ll explain it to you girls when we get there.”
“So why’s Shira staying behind?” asks Elle.
“She says she’s got a little present she wants to give to Mother and her big brothers.”
“Is Kira still alive?”
“Shira thinks so.”
The nameless women in back say nothing. They hold each other’s hands, take deep breaths, cross their fingers. Ayla looks at the stranger sitting next to her, leaning back in Elle’s arms. “What’s your name again? I forgot.“
Lucie seriously thinks about it. Suddenly she is overwhelmed by a burst of inspiration. “Luna.” She smiles radiantly, knowing in her heart she has done the right thing. “Luna Cerise.”
Desiree stares back at Lucie in shock. Ruby asks, “What’s wrong?”
“That is her name,” she sighs. She looks back at the road. Her voice now trembles with joy. “She just chose her own name!”
All her passengers cheer, except a stunned Ayla, who simply marvels, “Sugoi.” They laugh.
By the time they get to Gorst, where the highways to Tacoma and out of the city meet, the traffic nearly stops as two traffic streams merge. “Wow,” says Ruby, “there’s a lot of people trying to get out of town already.”
“Oh, this is nothing.”
The backup stretches as far as the eye can see, past the airport, all the way beyond Shelton and even Olympia. The sun begins to set. Desiree takes her camera out of the glovebox and takes pictures.
Shira, Jennifer, and Leila do not evacuate. Jennifer drives the Mustang back to downtown Bremerton, to Shira’s apartment building. When they open her door, they find not just Catalina wagging and licking, overjoyed as ever to welcome them home, but also, sitting on the couch, already nude with a fighting boots at her feet—Melody?
Jennifer crosses her arms. “Melody, aren’t you supposed to be leaving the city with your mothers?”
“No,” Melody says. “They told me to stay here and go with you. I’m your protector.”
The girl with the violet eyes puts her hands on her hips and cocks her head. “Aren’t that gang of rogue superheroes a bit much for you?”
“Do you have superpowers, Miss Factor Positive?” The two girls stare each other down.
The traffic continues to stream out of the city, gradually faster, as the sun goes down and the city goes dark.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
What's In Store for Spanner in 2013
Looks like I took an unintentional break from editing Spanner Chapter 14 over the extended New Year's weekend. Anyway, now it's the year before the story actually begins, and I'm still editing Book 1. So what are my plans for the series this year?
- I'm going to finish the final edit of Book 1, of course. I'm just over halfway to the end. Unlike with Revision 3, I want to get all the way to the end.
- Complete the first draft of Book 2, then do a full edit before I start posting installments.
- Plot Book 3 and begin writing a first draft — sure, there's scenes written, but right now they're just fragments.
- Complete the Book 1 ebook and get it ready to sell through the online bookstores. This means not just the expensive parts such as buying what I need to keep full creative control, but also the covers and possibly inside illustrations.
- Get my drawing skills back to the level at which I can finally do the long-delayed task of designing my characters.
- Expand the "anonymity is freedom" theme to include people with one-word or even one-letter or -character names, plus the most important names of all: the numbers the Imperial American government gives pretty much everybody on the planet it claims to rule forever by divine right.
- Take Book 3 characters Shane Chantry (from the mid-1990s Project Notebooks), Oz Bean (the black rodeo cowboy from Texas), and Radica Maxx (Shira's jealous archrival in hoverboard racing, always sick and tired of being number 2) and insert them in the later stages of Book 1. I've already done this to Shane in 13.5 and 14.1. Oz will make his first appearance in 15.2. Radica... where should I put her? I'll figure it out sometime soon.
- Expand on certain neglected characters from previous chapters, including those new to R4: Daisy Kwon, Irina Lanskaya, Zac Finney, Hope Reston, the librarians and other dissident teachers, etc. The third-act "homestretch" (Chapters 16-23) should give me plenty of room to do so as I prepare to clear out certain Book 1 characters to make way for the Book 2 supporting cast.
- Escalate both the "cyberpunk" and "Orwellian" aspects of the story.
- Weaponize "the power of rock": on the government side, the Patriot Metal superstars and their battle copters; on the other, the Rockers with their instruments (lead guitars, electric violins, circuit-broken Casio SK-1s, Roland 808 bass cannons, etc.) connected to sound cannons. Combine this with "the power of love" weaponized by Shira and Leila starting Chapter 15, and CPMC may die from "rule of cool" alone — but the point of Chapters 16-23 is that "rule of cool" is not enough without the masses taking action on their own behalf.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Spanner 14.3: B Krool 2 Ur Scuel (The School Invasions Part II)
← ...from previous
school building. Heavy gunfire assaults the front door—several armed and armoured guards scream gurgle die—all the students in the lobby and cafeteria run screaming for their lives down the hallway—the front door vanishes in a deafening fiery blast of smoke and shrapnel. Christie shatters the glass with a fighting-gloved fist and pulls the alarm; Charmian, Lucy, and Lady dash into the empty control room, lock it, and turn on the monitors; Bart and his football crew take their positions to strike in ambush.
Shira, Jennifer, Fiona, and her nameless sister race through the halls wearing only their boots and fighting gloves, far ahead of their still dressing teammates. Shira syncs the computer in her head with the school security system (Lucy squeaks, Charmian catches her breath) and through the PA commands in a calm unwinded voice: “All students and faculty evacuate immediately if you value your lives. We will engage the attackers ourselves. Do not interfere. Leave now.” (Lucy: “What in God’s name is she doing?” Charmian: “I guess we’ll find out.”)
Three helicopters land in front of the emergency exits hoping to block them; from each an instant news crew debarks: two reporters, two cameras, two guards wielding sound pistols, and a producer barking orders; the guards immediately fire upon fleeing students to force them back into the line of fire as their producers scream through bullhorns turned full volume that it’s the students’ duty to die for the networks’ ratings. Scotty calls Shira: “What the fuck you think we should do now, Thomas!”
Without a pause she answers: “Fight.”
He echoes the word to the others in his group; they call their friends at the other exits—Valiants, Pretties, Bremeloes, and others launch themselves at the sound cannoneers, using students in the way and each other as human shields, rushing and trampling the guards and beating up the producers—one reporter who happens to be Amanda Currie takes a blow to the head—
The students flood out through the exits, trampling the sound cannoneers, pinballing the news crews back and forth, and run in the direction opposite the attackers’ point of entry, praying in panic that they didn’t bring reinforcements to cut them down. Shira plays war-movie sound effects through the PA, not to confuse the attackers, but to lure the news crews in.
As soon as the smoke clears, the attackers advance through the door into the lobby: two in hockey masks, one in his Ghostface Killer mask, one in the face of Conservative Revolutionary hero Guy Fawkes, and, masked only in military HUD mirrorshades, Ron Tremayne and Don Murphy. The hockey-masked men run ahead of the others. One of them screams through his com, “Bart, you fool, you were supposed to make sure the victims didn’t escape!”
Bart replies through his phone, “Well, Stan, Shira Thomas didn’t want ’em in the way of her Challenge! We got the victims you need.” Behind him, the Ibrahim cower together in a corner of the dark empty classroom, terrified to even make a noise.
Beck asks Bart, “What’ll we do with the others?”
“Tremayne, Murphy, Fischer, and Price?”
“Yeah!” yells Rex.
“We let ’em have their fun with the news.” Bart grins evilly. “Then we kill ’em.”
“Hey! Get back here, you idiots!” Craving terrorist blood, the big footballers race out to hunt the killers. “Tie them bitches up!” Beck and Rex throw themselves at the Ibrahim sisters and beat them up—in the chaos, Saida pushes Sana out with her foot; she runs past Bart for help.
Shira orders another group of students to keep their voices silent as they evacuate the science room. Just in time: the Ghostface-masked gunman scurries back and forth through the empty hall in a daze, confused at the lack of victims. (Jennifer digs through Dave’s desk to retrieve Bernkastel’s knife. Dave: “Shouldn’t you use the gun?” Jennifer glares at him: “Useless!”) Shira taunts him by appearing naked and mocking before him only to disappear like a mirage. He finds all the classrooms he passes dark, doors closed, probably locked. Finally he finds an open one with its lights on. He dashes in.
He finds Dave, alone. He points his AK at him. He roars, “Where the fuck’s the kids?”
Dave says, “Look behind you.”
Ghostface spins to see—someone blocks his rifle—he looks up: Shira... naked? She smiles. “Hi.”
She jams a pencil into his eye, all the way through his brain. The corpse of Brian Price falls to the floor twitching. Over his shoulder, Dave sees Jennifer smile. “See?”
From the security room, Lucy announces, “One terrorist down! Five remaining!”
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 14: Plots and Plans
Part 3: B Krool 2 Ur Scuel (The School Invasions Part II)
(Revision 4)
Part 3: B Krool 2 Ur Scuel (The School Invasions Part II)
(Revision 4)
school building. Heavy gunfire assaults the front door—several armed and armoured guards scream gurgle die—all the students in the lobby and cafeteria run screaming for their lives down the hallway—the front door vanishes in a deafening fiery blast of smoke and shrapnel. Christie shatters the glass with a fighting-gloved fist and pulls the alarm; Charmian, Lucy, and Lady dash into the empty control room, lock it, and turn on the monitors; Bart and his football crew take their positions to strike in ambush.
Shira, Jennifer, Fiona, and her nameless sister race through the halls wearing only their boots and fighting gloves, far ahead of their still dressing teammates. Shira syncs the computer in her head with the school security system (Lucy squeaks, Charmian catches her breath) and through the PA commands in a calm unwinded voice: “All students and faculty evacuate immediately if you value your lives. We will engage the attackers ourselves. Do not interfere. Leave now.” (Lucy: “What in God’s name is she doing?” Charmian: “I guess we’ll find out.”)
Three helicopters land in front of the emergency exits hoping to block them; from each an instant news crew debarks: two reporters, two cameras, two guards wielding sound pistols, and a producer barking orders; the guards immediately fire upon fleeing students to force them back into the line of fire as their producers scream through bullhorns turned full volume that it’s the students’ duty to die for the networks’ ratings. Scotty calls Shira: “What the fuck you think we should do now, Thomas!”
Without a pause she answers: “Fight.”
He echoes the word to the others in his group; they call their friends at the other exits—Valiants, Pretties, Bremeloes, and others launch themselves at the sound cannoneers, using students in the way and each other as human shields, rushing and trampling the guards and beating up the producers—one reporter who happens to be Amanda Currie takes a blow to the head—
2012... the man who kidnapped her, drugged her, and told her it was her duty to kill her sister for the survival of the Nation—he turns out to be the man behind her, her instant-news producer...
The students flood out through the exits, trampling the sound cannoneers, pinballing the news crews back and forth, and run in the direction opposite the attackers’ point of entry, praying in panic that they didn’t bring reinforcements to cut them down. Shira plays war-movie sound effects through the PA, not to confuse the attackers, but to lure the news crews in.
As soon as the smoke clears, the attackers advance through the door into the lobby: two in hockey masks, one in his Ghostface Killer mask, one in the face of Conservative Revolutionary hero Guy Fawkes, and, masked only in military HUD mirrorshades, Ron Tremayne and Don Murphy. The hockey-masked men run ahead of the others. One of them screams through his com, “Bart, you fool, you were supposed to make sure the victims didn’t escape!”
Bart replies through his phone, “Well, Stan, Shira Thomas didn’t want ’em in the way of her Challenge! We got the victims you need.” Behind him, the Ibrahim cower together in a corner of the dark empty classroom, terrified to even make a noise.
Beck asks Bart, “What’ll we do with the others?”
“Tremayne, Murphy, Fischer, and Price?”
“Yeah!” yells Rex.
“We let ’em have their fun with the news.” Bart grins evilly. “Then we kill ’em.”
march... With the war cry of “faggots!” four Valiants savagely beat four sullen outcasts; Bart Green, Beck Skeever, Rex Corson, and Scotty Walker attempt to prove their manhood once again at their expense.
Irrational with resentment and hate, the injured misfits gather in the office of an unused classroom to plot mass murder: Ron Tremayne, Don Murphy, Harvey Fischer, and Brian Price...
Irrational with resentment and hate, the injured misfits gather in the office of an unused classroom to plot mass murder: Ron Tremayne, Don Murphy, Harvey Fischer, and Brian Price...
“Hey! Get back here, you idiots!” Craving terrorist blood, the big footballers race out to hunt the killers. “Tie them bitches up!” Beck and Rex throw themselves at the Ibrahim sisters and beat them up—in the chaos, Saida pushes Sana out with her foot; she runs past Bart for help.
Shira orders another group of students to keep their voices silent as they evacuate the science room. Just in time: the Ghostface-masked gunman scurries back and forth through the empty hall in a daze, confused at the lack of victims. (Jennifer digs through Dave’s desk to retrieve Bernkastel’s knife. Dave: “Shouldn’t you use the gun?” Jennifer glares at him: “Useless!”) Shira taunts him by appearing naked and mocking before him only to disappear like a mirage. He finds all the classrooms he passes dark, doors closed, probably locked. Finally he finds an open one with its lights on. He dashes in.
He finds Dave, alone. He points his AK at him. He roars, “Where the fuck’s the kids?”
Dave says, “Look behind you.”
Ghostface spins to see—someone blocks his rifle—he looks up: Shira... naked? She smiles. “Hi.”
She jams a pencil into his eye, all the way through his brain. The corpse of Brian Price falls to the floor twitching. Over his shoulder, Dave sees Jennifer smile. “See?”
From the security room, Lucy announces, “One terrorist down! Five remaining!”
Friday, December 28, 2012
Spanner 14.2: I Choose Free Will
← ...from previous
principal’s office. Six principals stare down at the girl with the violet eyes. She returns their stare clear-eyed and confident. “Well, Miss Anonymous,” Spiekerman says. “Rumors have come to us that you have been engaging in forbidden sexual liaisons. Correct?”
She smiles ironically. “Yes, I have.”
The principals gasp in horror and disgust. “Do you really expect to get away with it?”
“I do.”
Spiekerman nudges Falconer with his elbow to shut her up. “Explain.”
“Answer me this: do I look like a sex doll?”
The other principals nod enthusiastically. Spiekerman says, “Continue.”
“They are right. Properly, I should not even be marriageable. My looks are classified as ‘frivolous,’ not ‘serious.’ Thus deprived of a future, I choose to consort with my own kind.”
“Why,” asks Principal through a strained smile, “would you do a horrible thing like that?”
“Because it is my will.”
The assistants are too shocked to speak. Principal sweats and twitches. Falconer growls, “This is unforgivable.”
“I don’t seek your altruistic sentiment, Major. I serve a greater cause than yours.”
Principal narrows his eyes. “And what would that be, young lady?”
“Myself.”
Falconer barks, “The Law will show you no mercy!”
“The Law can do nothing. And there is nothing you can do to stop me.”
“Are you speaking treason?” shrieks Falconer.
“Whatever that is.” The principals gasp. She flashes them a beautiful smile of triumph, then turns toward the door. “The rumor is that the Governor is showing his contempt for the Shepherd-Mayor by marrying me to his heir. That rumor is true.” She opens the door and looks back toward them. “To hell with duty. I choose free will.” She slams the door behind her, leaving the principals stunned.
hallway. Akane watches on as Shira opens her locker. Harumi, Seika, and Sana join them as she unloads her backpack. “I don’t think we’re supposed to be here,” says Seika nervously.
Sana flirtatiously puts her arm around his shoulder. “Oh, we’re just here a little early.” Seika blushes.
Akane holds out his smartphone and launches an app. Suddenly it beeps. Shira’s eyes go wide; she suddenly turns to stare at him. Harumi gasps. “You the one with computer in your head?”
Sana’s jaw drops; she takes in a sudden breath. “Akane, how’d you figure that out?”
“Akimi-san,” says Akane.
Shira glares at him. “So that’s why you were at Biotron.”
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 14: Plots and Plans
Part 2: I Choose Free Will (Revision 4)
Part 2: I Choose Free Will (Revision 4)
principal’s office. Six principals stare down at the girl with the violet eyes. She returns their stare clear-eyed and confident. “Well, Miss Anonymous,” Spiekerman says. “Rumors have come to us that you have been engaging in forbidden sexual liaisons. Correct?”
She smiles ironically. “Yes, I have.”
The principals gasp in horror and disgust. “Do you really expect to get away with it?”
“I do.”
Spiekerman nudges Falconer with his elbow to shut her up. “Explain.”
“Answer me this: do I look like a sex doll?”
The other principals nod enthusiastically. Spiekerman says, “Continue.”
“They are right. Properly, I should not even be marriageable. My looks are classified as ‘frivolous,’ not ‘serious.’ Thus deprived of a future, I choose to consort with my own kind.”
“Why,” asks Principal through a strained smile, “would you do a horrible thing like that?”
“Because it is my will.”
The assistants are too shocked to speak. Principal sweats and twitches. Falconer growls, “This is unforgivable.”
“I don’t seek your altruistic sentiment, Major. I serve a greater cause than yours.”
Principal narrows his eyes. “And what would that be, young lady?”
“Myself.”
Falconer barks, “The Law will show you no mercy!”
“The Law can do nothing. And there is nothing you can do to stop me.”
“Are you speaking treason?” shrieks Falconer.
“Whatever that is.” The principals gasp. She flashes them a beautiful smile of triumph, then turns toward the door. “The rumor is that the Governor is showing his contempt for the Shepherd-Mayor by marrying me to his heir. That rumor is true.” She opens the door and looks back toward them. “To hell with duty. I choose free will.” She slams the door behind her, leaving the principals stunned.
hallway. Akane watches on as Shira opens her locker. Harumi, Seika, and Sana join them as she unloads her backpack. “I don’t think we’re supposed to be here,” says Seika nervously.
Sana flirtatiously puts her arm around his shoulder. “Oh, we’re just here a little early.” Seika blushes.
Akane holds out his smartphone and launches an app. Suddenly it beeps. Shira’s eyes go wide; she suddenly turns to stare at him. Harumi gasps. “You the one with computer in your head?”
Sana’s jaw drops; she takes in a sudden breath. “Akane, how’d you figure that out?”
“Akimi-san,” says Akane.
Shira glares at him. “So that’s why you were at Biotron.”
2013... Shira rubs her head. “It hurts, Doc. When’s this headache gonna go away?”
“When your brain gets used to it,” says Dr. Whistler. “It won’t take long at all.”
“So what do I do with it?”
“Tell it to turn on.”
She thinks: System on. Suddenly she sees an entire operating system appear in her field of vision. “Plasmoids?”
“Better than apps,” says Zac. “Claim your system and it’s yours.”
She activates login, uses her handle as username, picks an unintelligible thirteen-word passphrase in thirteen languages and eight scripts, configures her IPv6 firewall, downloads her usual apps—but she finds a new one preinstalled. “Eyecam?”
Zac grins. “The one and only.”
She activates it—and finds herself immersed in full augmented reality...
“When your brain gets used to it,” says Dr. Whistler. “It won’t take long at all.”
“So what do I do with it?”
“Tell it to turn on.”
She thinks: System on. Suddenly she sees an entire operating system appear in her field of vision. “Plasmoids?”
“Better than apps,” says Zac. “Claim your system and it’s yours.”
She activates login, uses her handle as username, picks an unintelligible thirteen-word passphrase in thirteen languages and eight scripts, configures her IPv6 firewall, downloads her usual apps—but she finds a new one preinstalled. “Eyecam?”
Zac grins. “The one and only.”
She activates it—and finds herself immersed in full augmented reality...
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Spanner 14.1: City in Flight
← ...from previous
1 october 2014.
cpmc headquarters. The Fearsome Foursome—Governor Brinkman, Admiral Fleer, Shepherd-Mayor Everson, and COPCO Section Chief Jack Becket—cower along with Chief Shepherd Drusilla Becket before the image of their patriarch, King Patriot of America. “Father!” Drusilla asks, “what is the meaning of this?”
The King, the former Roger Steele Becket, the man who was Super Patriot, the original World War II superhero, thunders, “The prophecy is at hand.”
They stare at him in horror.
“Walter!”
“Yes, Grandfather!” says Brinkman.
“Leila has renounced her name.”
Brinkman screams.
“John!”
“Yes, Grandfather!” says Jack.
“Your son has failed to stop her.”
Jack roars in rage.
“Alan!”
“Yes, Your Majesty!” says Fleer.
“Prepare to declare martial law.”
Fleer salutes. “Yes, sir!”
“Luke!”
“Yes, Your Majesty!” says Everson.
“Leila has turned traitor, therefore she must be sacrificed. You must hold the Ceremony!”
Everson gasps in horror. “But we can’t!”
“You must!”
Drusilla yells, “Luke, Father’s right! We have no choice!”
“If she is allowed to live and fulfill the prophecy, Our Nation faces destruction.”
“Your Majesty!” screams Everson. “Don’t you remember TrumpCity? You’ll only bring Spanner here!“
“I shall slay the angel of chaos myself. Prepare!”
2 october 2014.
dreamspace. Two young women, cinnamon-skinned and violet-eyed, find themselves awake in the same dream—in otherwise total darkness. They look around and find nothing. The girl with the violet eyes feels her body shudder. “I feel a nightmare coming.”
Shira feels herself go deadly calm. “I get the feeling it’s gonna be real.”
Suddenly a glowing figure taller than the sky rips apart the darkness. From above the parted clouds, giants descend into the figure’s shadow, grotesque forms resembling neither god nor human, swarming around him, filling the sky like invading aliens intent on conquering Earth; compared to them, the two girls are tiny naked and vulnerable. Suddenly Shira shudders in recognition. “I know what these are!”
“What?”
“The egos of the entire Party apparat!” And the giant figure turns from ectoplasmic green to red white and blue, his Uncle Sam costume forms around him, the long hair and beard materialize beneath the top hat—and the giant figure of Jesus America reaches down with his hand to crush them—
shira’s apartment. —they wake up in a cold sweat, shudder violently (scaring Tanner off the bed), hold each other as tight as they can, pant hard while staring in each other’s eyes. The girl with the violet eyes starts to cry. “Shira?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“You think they’re onto us?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised.” They kiss violently like it’s the last time they ever will.
Suddenly the light comes on, the covers fly off their bodies, and Catalina jumps on the bed to lick Shira’s neck. Desiree declares, “Girls, we got trouble—and it’s big.”
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 14: Plots and Plans
Part 1: City in Flight (Revision 4)
Part 1: City in Flight (Revision 4)
As the stag pants after the waterbrooks,
So pants my mind after you, O gods!
My mind thirsts for gods! for living gods!
When shall I come face to face with gods?
Psalm 42:1-2
I’m a fool for the city. . .
Foghat Honda City Citibank
So pants my mind after you, O gods!
My mind thirsts for gods! for living gods!
When shall I come face to face with gods?
Psalm 42:1-2
I’m a fool for the city. . .
1 october 2014.
cpmc headquarters. The Fearsome Foursome—Governor Brinkman, Admiral Fleer, Shepherd-Mayor Everson, and COPCO Section Chief Jack Becket—cower along with Chief Shepherd Drusilla Becket before the image of their patriarch, King Patriot of America. “Father!” Drusilla asks, “what is the meaning of this?”
The King, the former Roger Steele Becket, the man who was Super Patriot, the original World War II superhero, thunders, “The prophecy is at hand.”
They stare at him in horror.
“Walter!”
“Yes, Grandfather!” says Brinkman.
“Leila has renounced her name.”
Brinkman screams.
“John!”
“Yes, Grandfather!” says Jack.
“Your son has failed to stop her.”
Jack roars in rage.
“Alan!”
“Yes, Your Majesty!” says Fleer.
“Prepare to declare martial law.”
Fleer salutes. “Yes, sir!”
“Luke!”
“Yes, Your Majesty!” says Everson.
“Leila has turned traitor, therefore she must be sacrificed. You must hold the Ceremony!”
Everson gasps in horror. “But we can’t!”
“You must!”
Drusilla yells, “Luke, Father’s right! We have no choice!”
“If she is allowed to live and fulfill the prophecy, Our Nation faces destruction.”
“Your Majesty!” screams Everson. “Don’t you remember TrumpCity? You’ll only bring Spanner here!“
“I shall slay the angel of chaos myself. Prepare!”
2 october 2014.
dreamspace. Two young women, cinnamon-skinned and violet-eyed, find themselves awake in the same dream—in otherwise total darkness. They look around and find nothing. The girl with the violet eyes feels her body shudder. “I feel a nightmare coming.”
Shira feels herself go deadly calm. “I get the feeling it’s gonna be real.”
Suddenly a glowing figure taller than the sky rips apart the darkness. From above the parted clouds, giants descend into the figure’s shadow, grotesque forms resembling neither god nor human, swarming around him, filling the sky like invading aliens intent on conquering Earth; compared to them, the two girls are tiny naked and vulnerable. Suddenly Shira shudders in recognition. “I know what these are!”
“What?”
“The egos of the entire Party apparat!” And the giant figure turns from ectoplasmic green to red white and blue, his Uncle Sam costume forms around him, the long hair and beard materialize beneath the top hat—and the giant figure of Jesus America reaches down with his hand to crush them—
shira’s apartment. —they wake up in a cold sweat, shudder violently (scaring Tanner off the bed), hold each other as tight as they can, pant hard while staring in each other’s eyes. The girl with the violet eyes starts to cry. “Shira?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“You think they’re onto us?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised.” They kiss violently like it’s the last time they ever will.
Suddenly the light comes on, the covers fly off their bodies, and Catalina jumps on the bed to lick Shira’s neck. Desiree declares, “Girls, we got trouble—and it’s big.”
The streets of the city and its suburbs jam with cars as people flee the area as fast as they can, as if it were a category-five hurricane coming toward Seattle instead of the Conservative Revolutionary Party hierarchy. All the expressways, all the arterials, all the back streets out of the city fill first with dangerous speeders fleeing as fast as they can in their panic, then a parade of more patient drivers trying to be the first to leave without risking vehicular suicide, and finally the many who in their haste find themselves trapped in stopped traffic. The morning sun rises to greet a city turned into a gigantic parking lot.Brinkman: I hereby declare martial law within the Metropolitan City of Seattle. Any unauthorized personnel still within the city limits will be shot as trespassers on CPMC property. I am mobilizing the full forces of America’s police and paramilitary security companies effective Saturday. This time all you Communist liberal traitors have gone too far. America bless God!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Spanner Interlude 9: City on the Edge of a Dream
← ...from previous
Once upon a time, a girl of ten came upon a man, who wanted to remake her to conform to society’s plan. Nothing of it fit her. He hit her in frustration. Her tears broke his heart because she was so beautiful and fair. He begged her forgiveness. She asked if she could dance for him. He said, “Not here. Let me take you home.” He did.
He closed the door to the world so only he could see the vision of her. She looked so gorgeous in her elegant frilly dress and flowery flop hat. Then she began to take it off. He panicked and begged her not to. She said, “This thing is in my way. Now let me take it off so I can dance for you naked.” He relented.
The nude beauty lithely danced a graceful angelic ballet, a child with no trace yet of the woman she would become, the slim white body and flowing golden hair dancing for him an ethereal vision of perfect innocence. His desire defeated him. She let him take her to bed.
Present day, present time: in dream reality. Jennifer is awake. She expects trouble. She sees its tentacles approach.
Her power wand had come from a message dream. Her dreaming self had hidden it within a pile of gears off to the side two years ago. It was a special prize she earned for successfully interpreting the dream. Ann Faraday would have called it a transforming symbol. The wand is itself an intricate and complex clockwork. She raises it high and speaks the words of power:
“Clockwork angel, spin your gears!”
The magic streams out of the wand, magic possible only in dream reality, in a stream of gears and pistons and bright lights, destroying her flimsy gown and covering her body with a magical-girl power dress she constructed entirely out of steampunk aesthetics.
Chaos Angel Spanner
Interlude 9: City on the Edge of a Dream
Interlude 9: City on the Edge of a Dream
You need a new song. . .
The Who
The Who
He looks big and mean enough to take out an army of cops with just one fist. But this evil gangster is terrified of a little girl. “She’s a witch, officer. She’s got evil supernatural power straight from the devil!”
It’s Jim Sparks’ first case. He’s still an immature bully with an unpretty face. He chuckles “What’s this ‘devil’ you’re talkin’ ‘bout?”
“Believe it! The greatest lie the devil ever told is that he does not exist!”
In the next room, the world’s greatest detective (or so he says) faces down a beautiful adorable smiling ten-year-old girl in frilly dress and round rimless glasses. “The rape of a child is the most evil thing in the world.”
Her eyes question him. “But isn’t the rape of a mind even worse?”
“The counsellor will be with you shortly.”
“Will he. . .” She lowers her glasses and peers into his soul.
Once upon a time, a girl of ten came upon a man, who wanted to remake her to conform to society’s plan. Nothing of it fit her. He hit her in frustration. Her tears broke his heart because she was so beautiful and fair. He begged her forgiveness. She asked if she could dance for him. He said, “Not here. Let me take you home.” He did.
He closed the door to the world so only he could see the vision of her. She looked so gorgeous in her elegant frilly dress and flowery flop hat. Then she began to take it off. He panicked and begged her not to. She said, “This thing is in my way. Now let me take it off so I can dance for you naked.” He relented.
The nude beauty lithely danced a graceful angelic ballet, a child with no trace yet of the woman she would become, the slim white body and flowing golden hair dancing for him an ethereal vision of perfect innocence. His desire defeated him. She let him take her to bed.
Present day, present time: in dream reality. Jennifer is awake. She expects trouble. She sees its tentacles approach.
Her power wand had come from a message dream. Her dreaming self had hidden it within a pile of gears off to the side two years ago. It was a special prize she earned for successfully interpreting the dream. Ann Faraday would have called it a transforming symbol. The wand is itself an intricate and complex clockwork. She raises it high and speaks the words of power:
“Clockwork angel, spin your gears!”
The magic streams out of the wand, magic possible only in dream reality, in a stream of gears and pistons and bright lights, destroying her flimsy gown and covering her body with a magical-girl power dress she constructed entirely out of steampunk aesthetics.
And sometime in the future, among the ruins of Mitakihara City, the thin bald MIB-styling man tells the tall blond girl in a frilly minidress of power and the same round shades as him, “Sleep is unproductive and a waste of time.”
“But what if you travel in dreams?”
“I dream awake of the radiant city.”
“Yet here’s another one fallen into dust.”
“The nightmare is what you see. The dream is a lie.”
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Spanner Chapter 13: The Girl with No Name (Revision 4)
← Chapter 12
The Slasher Hunters warn the Student Council’s top fighters about what they face if they throw a Challenge at Shira and Team Bremelo. Chairman Becket attempts a dreamspace attack in superhero form on Leila. Sparks sends word that King Patriot himself is coming to scare the fear of Jesus America into the Cascadia’s stubborn liberals on Sunday and gives Shira something to fight Chief Jack Becket’s copbots. Prophet Scofield plots revenge against Leila and her girlfriend Shira, his beloved Drusilla’s accursed changeling. Spanner makes his move against Amanda—and Shira, Leila, Sparks, and the nameless beauties next door attempt to save her. One of those nameless women has a surprise reunion with Ayla and provides Sparks and Desiree with a clue to the fates of Kira and Lucie. The first-period history teacher attempts to coerce Shira into sex, not knowing what she’s capable of. At the Team Bremelo picnic in Bremerton’s Evergreen Park, the team and their friends find themselves facing the Council fighters, Stan Green’s Moral Enforcers, Scofield and the church ladies from the Party’s Spiritual Warfare Bureau—and the dreaded Travelling Shovel of Death. And Leila, determined to break her marriage arrangement to Oliver at all costs and inspired by Shira’s neighbours, destroys her name...
Table of Contents:
The original introduction and revision notes:
Back to Chaos Angel Spanner table of contents...
Chaos Angel Spanner — Book 1: Rock City Blues
Chapter 13: The Girl with No Name (Revision 4)
Chapter 13: The Girl with No Name (Revision 4)
The Slasher Hunters warn the Student Council’s top fighters about what they face if they throw a Challenge at Shira and Team Bremelo. Chairman Becket attempts a dreamspace attack in superhero form on Leila. Sparks sends word that King Patriot himself is coming to scare the fear of Jesus America into the Cascadia’s stubborn liberals on Sunday and gives Shira something to fight Chief Jack Becket’s copbots. Prophet Scofield plots revenge against Leila and her girlfriend Shira, his beloved Drusilla’s accursed changeling. Spanner makes his move against Amanda—and Shira, Leila, Sparks, and the nameless beauties next door attempt to save her. One of those nameless women has a surprise reunion with Ayla and provides Sparks and Desiree with a clue to the fates of Kira and Lucie. The first-period history teacher attempts to coerce Shira into sex, not knowing what she’s capable of. At the Team Bremelo picnic in Bremerton’s Evergreen Park, the team and their friends find themselves facing the Council fighters, Stan Green’s Moral Enforcers, Scofield and the church ladies from the Party’s Spiritual Warfare Bureau—and the dreaded Travelling Shovel of Death. And Leila, determined to break her marriage arrangement to Oliver at all costs and inspired by Shira’s neighbours, destroys her name...
Table of Contents:
- Know Your Enemy (August 18, 2011, Final Revision 12/10/12)
- Hello Nothing (August 19, 2011, Final Revision 12/12/12)
- Breaking Amanda (August 20, 2011, Final Revision 12/14/12)
- Guess Who’s Coming (August 21, 2011, Final Revision 12/17/12)
- Sex as a Weapon (August 22, 2011, Final Revision 12/19/12)
- The Battle of Evergreen Park (August 23, 2011, Final Revision 12/21/12)
- Interlude 9: City on the Edge of a Dream (December 24, 2012)
The original introduction and revision notes:
Halfway into a story, you expect something important to happen that will power the story to the shocking conclusion. Well, we’re now well into the second half of Spanner, which means the Author had better pick up the pace. And how better to do that than by having one villain draw a higher-ranking villain into his fight? Charmian Fleer has done this already. Now it’s Stan Green’s turn. Next — who knows?Chapter 14 →
From the Project Notebooks: the homeroom teacher’s question, “Ilsa, She-Wolf of Hollywood,” the mock fainting spells, Mimi in the locker room, the battle in the park, the loaded yo-yo, and the policebots (and what Shira does to them). All are from the early ’00s except for the robot idea that has remained essentially the same since the ’90s.
So far, I’ve neglected some major players and elements in the story. I left them behind when I took the story to high school. But now the strife is beginning to spread outside the school. Particularly from Chapter 5 onward, I downplayed some of the story’s more political aspects so I could introduce important plotlines and focus on the interplay of specific characters. That’s done. Now it’s time for me to start kicking the story into high gear.
Since Team Bremelo are holding a big gathering with family and friends invited to come, I’m taking the opportunity to bring some of the back. I’m also debuting another major villain, one I originally created for a very early version of Chapter 1 I plotted out in the later Project Notebooks. He’s a major player in my still unfinished prequel, Bad Company: A Corporate Terror Story. But he never appeared in the Script Frenzy 2008 comics script. So he hasn’t yet had an opportunity to start making trouble — till now.
Beware: the Travelling Shovel of Death craves blood...
Second Revision Update: The original introduction remains mostly relevant, except for two things pertaining to this second revision and the upcoming third: the political aspect now draws much more strongly on previous chapters, and the characters I neglected in the first edition are now much better developed in the second and especially third editions, carrying over their story threads from previous chapters. And Byron Scofield, having made his first [Second Revision] appearance in Chapter 3 part 6, is no longer such a new menace...
Back to Chaos Angel Spanner table of contents...
Friday, December 21, 2012
Spanner 13.6: The Battle of Evergreen Park
← ...from previous
espnbc studios. She is the bright-eyed companion of the morning. The afternoon is not her time. She trudges through the frantic yet empty activity looking for her cubicle.
She sighs in relief to find they haven’t yet reassigned it. But on her desk she finds a letter. Curious about it, she picks it up. It’s not an envelope, but a single sheet of craft paper sealed with a pink tin heart sticker. The sweet perfume reminds her of the Leila she once knew. The handwriting is hers, grown only prettier over the last two years:
She opens it up. She catches her breath at the beauty of her handwriting. She remembers something Leila once wrote: Through the colour, and the shape, and the music of the words, I shall touch your heart.
The head producer snarls, “Get back to work, bright eyes.”
“Sorry!” She dashes off to perform like a monkey before the cameras once again.
evergreen park. On the last day of the year before the Cascadian wet season begins, girls crowd the shore of downtown Bremerton’s largest park to watch Shira in the little boat in the narrows and hero-worship her. Wednesday is the slowest picnic day of the week because the church groups spend their Wednesday nights worshipping the Nation, so fight clubs from five high schools are taking advantage: Bremerton, Olympic, Central Kitsap, South Kitsap, and Bangor. Shira waves at the girls on shore with her dolphin flipper; they answer with a loud ecstatic squee.
On the boat, Shira and Jennifer are tutoring their beloved violet-eyed girl in the use of the the two-footed flipper. Their Bangor High Swim Team swimsuits match their fins. Jennifer says, “Remember to use your whole body, not just your legs. Ready?”
The violet-eyed girl takes in a breath. “I think so.”
Jennifer hugs her one-armed and gives her a quick kiss on the lips. Shira says, “Surprise us.” She kisses her and winks. The three of them tip backwards into the water.
Back in the Bremelo gazebo, Colette watches from her wheelchair as Kio holds her close from behind. “I wish I could do that,” she sighs.
Kio chuckles. “Knowing them, they’ll slap on a fin and throw you in the pool at the first opportunity.”
Suddenly the nameless girl leaps out of the water vertically, touches her toes, raises her flipper high, and dives corkscrew back into the water. The girls on shore first gasp, then squee. She surfaces smiling gleefully; Shira and Jennifer rise astonished. “I so love this! I always wanted to be a mermaid.” Her companions wink.
Shira turns to look at the adoring crowd. She rises out of the water to taildance for them and hails them in dolphin language; they squee in response.
Above the Bangor gazebo flies the Team Bremelo flag, a black buffalo with a fat woman’s face on a gray field. Present: all nine team members plus Fiona, Marina, and Daisy; advisors Dave Whitmer and Elsie Currie; Kio’s girlfriend Colette, her brother James, and her school friends, nearly a hundred of them—who are really the heart of Bangor High’s Student Union led by Karen, who’s here with her new boyfriend Dexter the runningback, her older sister Saffron, her cousins Courtney and Schuyler, and advisors Sylvia Plame, the librarians, and Charlie, whom Colette cheerfully asks, “Is it true you punched out Minty Fresh once?”
“Well, she attacked me with my own guitar during class,” Charlie cheerfully replies. “I guess that’s why I’m just the school nurse now.” They laugh together.
The boat comes near shore, the flippers come off, and the mermaids in black and silver swimsuits tread ashore triumphantly through the crowd of squeeing girls, Shira kissing every girl within reach. When they arrive at their gazebo, the picnic has already begun. Kio has Colette’s plate, but suddenly Shira stands in the way; she reaches to lift Colette out of her wheelchair, but Karen cries out, “Wait! Wait!” and with Polly rushes to towel the salt water off her body. Karen smiles cheerfully. “Now.” Shira lifts Colette up into her arms and gives her a big long kiss. Jim and Karen grin, but Kio gives her a slightly jealous look. Shira smiles at him and pulls his lips down to hers. She holds Colette close. “Girl, I so love you. I’m glad you’re back.” Colette sighs.
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 13: The Girl with No Name
Part 6: The Battle of Evergreen Park (Final Revision)
Part 6: The Battle of Evergreen Park (Final Revision)
espnbc studios. She is the bright-eyed companion of the morning. The afternoon is not her time. She trudges through the frantic yet empty activity looking for her cubicle.
She sighs in relief to find they haven’t yet reassigned it. But on her desk she finds a letter. Curious about it, she picks it up. It’s not an envelope, but a single sheet of craft paper sealed with a pink tin heart sticker. The sweet perfume reminds her of the Leila she once knew. The handwriting is hers, grown only prettier over the last two years:
To my bright-eyed companion
She opens it up. She catches her breath at the beauty of her handwriting. She remembers something Leila once wrote: Through the colour, and the shape, and the music of the words, I shall touch your heart.
Dear bright-eyed girl,“Oh my god—Leila—“
You don’t belong where you are. That name is not your own. You don’t have one. You are a nameless beauty like us, our bright-eyed girl. Your home is with us. Our hearts are with you.
I forgive you. Yolanda’s death wasn’t your fault. She prayed for you to leave your old life and become a nameless beauty. Elsie still does. Lose your name, and Yolanda will be at peace. She will live on in your heart as she does in Elsie’s, through your love.
Leave the corporation, return to us, and we’ll do everything in our power to set you free.
I love you.
the girl with the violet eyes
The head producer snarls, “Get back to work, bright eyes.”
“Sorry!” She dashes off to perform like a monkey before the cameras once again.
evergreen park. On the last day of the year before the Cascadian wet season begins, girls crowd the shore of downtown Bremerton’s largest park to watch Shira in the little boat in the narrows and hero-worship her. Wednesday is the slowest picnic day of the week because the church groups spend their Wednesday nights worshipping the Nation, so fight clubs from five high schools are taking advantage: Bremerton, Olympic, Central Kitsap, South Kitsap, and Bangor. Shira waves at the girls on shore with her dolphin flipper; they answer with a loud ecstatic squee.
On the boat, Shira and Jennifer are tutoring their beloved violet-eyed girl in the use of the the two-footed flipper. Their Bangor High Swim Team swimsuits match their fins. Jennifer says, “Remember to use your whole body, not just your legs. Ready?”
The violet-eyed girl takes in a breath. “I think so.”
Jennifer hugs her one-armed and gives her a quick kiss on the lips. Shira says, “Surprise us.” She kisses her and winks. The three of them tip backwards into the water.
Back in the Bremelo gazebo, Colette watches from her wheelchair as Kio holds her close from behind. “I wish I could do that,” she sighs.
Kio chuckles. “Knowing them, they’ll slap on a fin and throw you in the pool at the first opportunity.”
Suddenly the nameless girl leaps out of the water vertically, touches her toes, raises her flipper high, and dives corkscrew back into the water. The girls on shore first gasp, then squee. She surfaces smiling gleefully; Shira and Jennifer rise astonished. “I so love this! I always wanted to be a mermaid.” Her companions wink.
Shira turns to look at the adoring crowd. She rises out of the water to taildance for them and hails them in dolphin language; they squee in response.
Above the Bangor gazebo flies the Team Bremelo flag, a black buffalo with a fat woman’s face on a gray field. Present: all nine team members plus Fiona, Marina, and Daisy; advisors Dave Whitmer and Elsie Currie; Kio’s girlfriend Colette, her brother James, and her school friends, nearly a hundred of them—who are really the heart of Bangor High’s Student Union led by Karen, who’s here with her new boyfriend Dexter the runningback, her older sister Saffron, her cousins Courtney and Schuyler, and advisors Sylvia Plame, the librarians, and Charlie, whom Colette cheerfully asks, “Is it true you punched out Minty Fresh once?”
“Well, she attacked me with my own guitar during class,” Charlie cheerfully replies. “I guess that’s why I’m just the school nurse now.” They laugh together.
The boat comes near shore, the flippers come off, and the mermaids in black and silver swimsuits tread ashore triumphantly through the crowd of squeeing girls, Shira kissing every girl within reach. When they arrive at their gazebo, the picnic has already begun. Kio has Colette’s plate, but suddenly Shira stands in the way; she reaches to lift Colette out of her wheelchair, but Karen cries out, “Wait! Wait!” and with Polly rushes to towel the salt water off her body. Karen smiles cheerfully. “Now.” Shira lifts Colette up into her arms and gives her a big long kiss. Jim and Karen grin, but Kio gives her a slightly jealous look. Shira smiles at him and pulls his lips down to hers. She holds Colette close. “Girl, I so love you. I’m glad you’re back.” Colette sighs.
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