Spanner 1.1: The Beginning of the End

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Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 1: Spanner in the Works
Part 1: The Beginning of the End (Revision 4)

spanner: Brit for monkeywrench

You say you want a revolution...
The Beatles Nike Apple Revolution Soda

19 august 2014.
mo(u)rning in america.

To the Christian world, it is the year of Our Lord, 2014. But in America it is the year of Our Ford, 116. America is no longer the nation of free people it once was, but a world-spanning empire inflamed by a holy mission of global dominion and extraterrestrial expansion, self-deified and single-mindedly dedicated to the sovereign freedom of State, Corporation, and posthuman élite. So has it been since the Conservative Revolution of 2012 overthrew the people and plunged the world into a cruel new age of heroes.

The American Empire’s ruling aristocracy, the American Remnant organized into the Conservative Revolutionary Party, is not one but two, differing on the nature of God and of the soul. To the Corporates, God is Reason as preached by the holy prophet Ayn Rand, and society is the obstacle to the freedom of the soul, which must stand in splendid isolation in order to be worthy of the godhood which is Man’s eternal birthright reserved only for the chosen few. To the Patriots, God is the American Nation as preached by the holy prophet John Birch, and individuality is the obstacle to the freedom of the soul, which must be submerged into the Nation in order to preserve its Godhead and therefore its eternal dominion over Man and the universe, gifted only unto the chosen few.

By their nature they should be eternal enemies. But together they do stand, united by one thing: the urgent imperative to save the Empire from a growing liberal majority that would make the white race a minority in its own Holy Land. To that end, the Party abolished the American Republic and declared eternal crusade against the equally racist African Kingdom of New Africa, the equally theocratic Holy Islamist Caliphate of the Mahdi, and the equally plutocratic Corporate Republic of Chinese Communist Party (Holdings) Limited, all in the name of the sacred Law of Social Darwinism. They have absolute faith in the magical ability of brute force to convince humanity, and nature itself, to submit happily and abjectly to their will to power. If that doesn’t work, they have military technology they believe advanced enough to terrorize alien invaders. If that doesn’t work, there is always black magic. At all times they long for the coming of a superhero who will lead them to total victory and into the New Age.

Their faith tells them the future is theirs. Little do they know...


technosphere. Posted to LocaFantoma99’s Profile on 19 August 2014: She wears an open custom-ripped turquoise shirt on her athletically beautiful bronze body. Zoom in on her beautiful face with green almond eyes, large sharp nose, and sensuous lips framed by a wild shock of unmanageable copper hair. She dominates your attention with the mischievous and dangerous cockeyed smile the Style Underground call that look. She claims to be one Shira Miranda Richter-Thomas: dancer, romancer, Styler, net.snarkist, Rocker child, hoverboard racer ranked number two, high-level Charmer with power rivalling Steve Jobs himself; brilliant, vivacious, charismatic, precocious, too sexy and seductive to be only fourteen. She wants you. Government, jealous god of the new heroic age whose infallible word is the Law, will crucify you if you even try to have her. Only a baroque web of legal, financial, moral, and infoviral poison pills keeps government from crucifying her for her relentless rejection of the new world order. She speaks in a strong, deep, almost boyish voice.

Shira: Hi again! ♥ [waves] Your favorite teenage nuisance is back to bother you again. ♫ I bet you’re wondering why I still get to shoot off my big mouth when They got my twin sister and everybody else gets shut down. Well, like people say, it’s a dirty job, and somebody’s gotta do it. I won’t shut up till They shut me up. But They know what I can do to Them. They even touch me, They’re over.

I know you’re worried about me. We’ve all been living on the edge for the past two years. It’s been rough going for all us puny humans since the Man brought the war home. Sure, I got enemies. Don’t we all? But mine are a special gift from my Evil Stepmother.

Everybody knows how these things are supposed to go: [waves purple penguin plushie] pretty girl starts a video blog on YouTube and Facebook, gets involved with secretive cult and sinister conspiracy, gets whacked in mid-vlog a year later, turns out fictional, vlog goes on anyway. [flings plushie behind her] And the villains? Here’s what They killed her for:

[waves a sheaf of $100 bills] This is government debt. When it’s used as money, the rate of profit falls. Try and stop it by consolidating businesses and centralizing the economy, you only make the profit rate fall faster. When it reaches zero [lights a match, sets the money on fire], all this’ll be worthless; capitalism will die and the Lords of Capital with it. They’re desperately to stop fate by sacrificing to the devil They sold Their souls to. The victim? [points at camera] You. The people.

Now it’s too late! You know everything They don’t want you to. They can get me like They got my sister, but They already lost and They know it. [drops burning money in an ashtray to the side] Now it’s your turn to save the world. If you can’t, nobody can. Ain’t no cavalry gonna save you.

Remember, people, this ain’t the 1950s anymore. Joe McCarthy’s still dead. “Utopia” still means Never-Never Land. Oh, and knight B4 to D5. Checkmate. [winks]

Shira Thomas
expect the unexpected

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Copyright © 2010, 2013 Dennis Jernberg. Some rights reserved.

[Revision 4, 7/3/12: Expanded and revised to fit Fourth Revision continuity.]
[Revision 4.1, 5/10/13: Both parts edited to make the series themes much clearer. Removed frivolous “teenage vlogger” filler from Shira’s videoblog. Changed formatting to match the later chapters. Final paragraph now consistent with the rest of the videoblog.]
[Revision 5 Final, upcoming: The narrative opening will be moved to Interlude 0 and replaced with a new opening not yet written.]