Saturday, June 9, 2012

Spanner R4 Update: Three Chapters and Three Interludes Complete

Spanner Chapter 3, Revision 4, is now pretty much perfect. Like Chapters 1 and 2, I took out a lot of dialogue and added more action. Some examples:
  1. The big escape from the escape-proof jail, courtesy of a certain virtual demon named Rebel Styles.
  2. The maiden voyage of the cherry-red Mustang named Rio, complete with "first start-up" scene.
  3. Prudish old ladies attempting to stone the cousins (Shira, Jennifer, and Karen) for being affectionate.
  4. The mass Mexican standoff between right- and left-wing terrorists.
So in Chapter 3, as in the previous chapters, there's now a lot more action and excitement in the Fourth Revision than there was in the Third. There's also somewhat less dialogue and a lot less narrative-killing exposition. Even so, the text and events of Chapter 3 now fit its ironic title, "Rock Is Dead" (the point being that it isn't, no matter how much the entire System tries to make it so), than ever before.

Also complete: the brand new Interlude 3, written entirely from scratch specially for the Fourth Revision. Called "One Nation Under Copyright, All Rights Reserved", it seems at first to be the violent adventures of an "IP Defender", or intellectual enforcer, for the Media Industry Association of America, depicted as if it were a cult. Then "Martin Martian" (real name unknown) gets sent by Jesus America after an especially defiant IP pirate named — Rebel Styles, who just happens to look and dress exactly like Shira, only the story's set in L.A. rather than Seattle. Is this a flashback? To quote Shira and/or Rebel: "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." A few plot twists later, it turns out to be the origin story of a villain already introduced in Chapter 4, IP Defender R. A. Leggett. After writing the new Interlude 3, I went back two chapters to replace the mention of Leggett in Chapter 3 with the first mention of IP Defenders, of which Leggett is the first introduced.

One thing that changed between the Third and Fourth Revisions: the consensual incest theme. I find it insisting on foregrounding itself even more this time, both yuri and non-yuri. As mentioned in Chapter 3, the Richter-Thomases are not normal, even for Rockers. The second love scene in the entire story, in one of the new Revision 4 flashbacks in Chapter 1, is a four-way involving two mothers (who were lovers long before they were sisters-in-law), two daughters (who are cousins), and something close to erotic satori. Chapter 3 reveals a sexual tension between Shira and her Rocker father so intense that she can say "He is my wife." Then there's all of Chapter 7, even unrevised... Seems Shira, the canonical Launcher Of A Thousand 'Ships, may end up sleeping with every important character in the series. I'll probably end up having to serialize the Fourth Revision on Tumblr rather than here, since Tumblr can handle it, though I'll keep the chapter link posts here.

And so my next task will be Chapter 4. It'll be the first chapter for which I'll be drawing from this year's Script Frenzy script. There's still a few unadapted scenes left. I also have major changes in store for a few scenes, including the one late in the chapter which introduces Ariel Shield's New Age store and her gangster brother Arvid. I also have the task of cutting it down to size. I'll probably take a rest before I take on the task. In any case, here goes...

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