Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Spanner 22.6: The Naked Killer

For your consideration: at long last, Leila Shelley and the man Governor Brinkman wants to force her to be his wife, Oliver Thorwald, fight to the finish! Featuring the Travelling Shovel of Death!

...from previous

Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 22: There Is No Law
Part 6: The Naked Killer

2 november 2014.
downtown Seattle.
The crowds of protesters flee screaming and try to hide as the Black Bloc anarcho-terrorists ruin their peaceful rally with a relentless hit-and-run assault against the COPCO positions. Above, Falconer continues to chase the Spannerbot in her Seahawk, trying to keep pace with the chaotically banking hoverboard in her unwieldy helicopter. The black-clad marauders throw their Molotovs, then rush back behind cover, then strike different positions, while the strike cops pursue them like relentless robots.

The Spannerbot leads Falconer on a wild goose chase, banking around skyscrapers, jetting down streets, turning downtown into an obstacle course for the Major. She realizes she cannot afford to make one mistake if she wants to survive this. She fires a Tomahawk. The hoverboard emits sparkly chaff and banks hard away behind a building. The missile follows the chaff and speeds down several blocks until it hits the ground where COPCO agents clash with raging terrorists.

Once the Black Bloc militants have cleared out the civilian protesters, the more hardened terrorists of the Socialist Revolutionary Organization, the Earth Revolutionary Front, the Black Islamic Nation, FUCK, SHIT, PISS, GRIF, POP, and other violent revolutionary vanguards take over the streets and launch a paramilitary assault on the COPCO strike force, equal in violence and equal in relentlessness. The COPCO strike agents tap into their anger as their Chief told them and fight back with maximum force and minimum mercy.

The protests are over, the war has begun, the Slashers come out of their lairs to take advantage of the chaos. Oliver Thorwald, “Ollie-Ollie Oxenfree,” invades the poorer sections of Pioneer Square with his shovel, cuts down whores and civilians alike with utmost pleasure, slays and slays until for some reason he finds no one to slay and suddenly he faces Leila Shelley, completely nude but for black fighting gloves and boots and a broken katana she licks the blood off and throws behind her. Dead klownz surround her. To his horror, camdrones swarm in from all directions. Some of them bear the logo of the reality-TV network E!

At last, Falconer succeeds in catching her prey. She rams the Seahawk into the Spannerbot — but bot and hoverboard crash through the windshield and slam into her body; the board crushes her midsection and cuts her in half; the now pilotless helicopter spins and spins around, moves up and down at whim, until at last it slams right into the midsection of the Black Tower. Spannerbot, fuel supply, and missiles explode. Honey Sue Falconer joins her lover in death.

Leila throws the contract at him. “Sign.” Thorwald stares at her for several seconds. He stoops to pick up the clipboard. The contract has her name on it. Her signature in the challenger’s blank is as pretty as he remembers, as pretty as she is. He puts the clipboard on his knee and signs his name. The Tournament official takes the clipboard from him; the Challenge is now official. He picks up his bloodstained shovel and stands to face Leila. She is so beautiful, her bare skin covered in sweat, mud, and blood, the look of pure hate on her face. How she takes such pleasure in hating him! He lusts to defile her beauty with his shovel. He licks his lips. She responds with a malevolent smile.

He growls, “You ain’t got a weapon, bitch.”

She purrs, “I can always take yours.”
Major Honey Sue Falconer is a Real American Hero! She gave her life to rid the world of the menace known as Spanner. All America bows in honor of her sacrificial service to Jesus America. Spanner is now in Hell! America bless God!
Bangor squats. Shira, Jennifer, and Steve take over a newly vacant squat uphill from the KCUF studios. Jennifer and Steve set up their laptops; Shira syncs her phone with them and with the station, then contacts Deth Pussy. “Yo Deth!”

“Hey, what’s up, babe?”

“Two days left, so we gotta get our asses in gear pronto.”

“You wanna see what your ninja girlfriend’s up to?”

Jennifer says, “I got E! in a window. Looks like they got the juicy exclusive.”

Shira slips behind her. “Maximize it!” Jennifer touches the maximize button.

The killer and the woman who hates him stare each other down in the pouring rain. Oliver Thorwald, clad in bloodstained camo, wields his infamous shovel. Beautiful, terrifying, and utterly without fear, Leila faces him down wearing nothing but fighting gloves and boots and wielding no weapon but her body itself. Celebrity Update presenter Celine Diaz, joined by her color commentator, former Green Beret turned pro wrestler Jody Vallejo, reports: “This just in! Amidst the chaos, Leila Shelley is finally carrying out her promise to avenge her rape! She’s just formally Challenged her serial-killer ex to a duel to the death, and she’s fighting him naked! We’ve got the exclusive live footage you won’t see anywhere else! See the carnage and fanservice as it happens!”

“You see that screen?” says Deth.

Jennifer gasps, “That’s Governor Wally!” With near inhuman efficiency she snatches the SD card with Arvid Shield’s videos from her jacket pocket and slips it into its slot on her laptop. “I’m ready, how ’bout you guys?”

Simon yells to Deth’s camera, “COPCO’s started making progress against the rioters!”

Shira shakes her head. “The nerve of those so-called anarchists, pullin’ a police stunt like that. If they did it at COPCO, they’d earn themselves enough demerits to get themselves booted from the Police Guild.”

“The protesters out of there?” asks Jennifer.

“They better be. They aren’t, they’re just as stupid as those anarcho-posers.”

On one screen, airborne and ground COPCO assault vehicles pound the Black Bloc positions with tear gas, shock grenades, and sound-cannon blasts. On the other, screaming with blood rage, the camo-clad Slasher charges the naked young woman he was once arranged to marry, intending to spear her with his shovel. All attention shifts to her as she parries the blow, catches the handle, and slams him into a wall. He bounces off and into a makeshift shelter, destroying it. She shifts into a defensive pose, ready as he pops back up and charges her again, swinging the shovel like a sword.

Shira says to her phone, “Phone tree!”

Deth shouts to Simon, “Yo, torrent ready?”

Simon replies, “7zip file checks, bandwidth max, seeding now. You should have it in three, two, one...”

A bicycle horn honks on Shira’s phone. “Got it! Now sending!”

She clicks send to phone the torrent to her parents, her sisters, and the rest of Team Bremelo with explicit instructions to send it further up the tree. They send it to their friends, who send it to their friends, and so on; as the torrent’s recipients grow in number, the seed rate grows faster and faster till it hits maximum. The zipped videos escape Cascadia, then the American homeland, on the clandestine Darknet channels.

“This,” Shira proudly announces to Steve, ”is how you broadcast when the Stalins own all the broadcast channels.”
Reports of my death are grossly premature, especially when they spew from the mouths of gloating tyrants. Did you think I had only one of those? Goodbye Spannerbot, hello Spannerbotnet! Ha ha ha ha!
Pioneer Square. Leila and Thorwald do not notice the thickening cloud of tear gas. They care only about killing each other. Rage supercharges his blood with superhuman strength enough to smash holes in the walls with his shovel. Her desire to kill him is so pure that it charges her body with erotic energy so intense it extinguishes any remaining hatred. He thrusts and slashes; she parries and evades with speed and stealth. He tries to force the shovel blade right into her head; she liquidly shifts position, catches the handle, lets the blade come down so hard it sparks on the concrete, then shifts position again so he spears the hard wall with his head. He rolls, sprawls, grabs his head; she kicks his testicles hard enough to crush them. He convulses and screams in pain.

Suddenly, he pops back up, roars and flails like a rabid beast, charges her once more. Before he can bring the shovel down, she throws herself into him with a knee blow that crushes several limbs and punctures a lung. He spins uncontrollably till he hits a wall face first, letting his shovel drop this time. She grabs his shoulders and front-kicks his spine between the shoulder blades. The camdrones’s microphones pick up the sound of his spine snapping. He falls backwards, helplessly, landing hard enough that his head bounces off the pavement.

With shocking speed she locks his neck into a headscissors. Helpless on the ground, he can only watch in terror as Leila lowers her beautiful bare buttocks and dripping florid cunt onto his face. “No... no... I don’t wanna die...”

“Begging for your life?” she purrs coldly. “You psychopaths are always such lousy losers.”

She slots his nose into her cunt, smothers his mouth with her arse, locks her legs into an inescapable vise. “You thought nothing of raping me, Oliver. I thought I might return the favor.” He struggles, squirms, tries to pry her off him; he tries to scream, but her fleshy vise muffles the sound as it crushes his face; his violent struggles pleasure her with increasing frenzy. She knows the camdrones are transmitting a prime live view of her nudity to the world, but she cares not one bit. He twitches, he writhes, his trapped nose drives her to multiple shattering climaxes till he chokes on her cunt juice and weakens; his struggles turn to seizures, then dying twitches, until at last he falls still and he is dead. She leans forward onto all fours, lets herself completely relax, lets out a huge sigh of relief. All of Oliver Thorwald’s life energy flows from his shitting pissing vomiting corpse into her trembling sweat-drenched body. She accepts it with a pleasure she has never felt outside Shira’s loving arms.

Diaz is so shocked, she squees: “Oh my god — our Slasher is dead! Superstar Slasher Ollie-Ollie Oxenfree with his Travelling Shovel of Death has just been defeated by Leila Shelley! She snuffed him out with nothing but her awesome body! That was the most beautiful kill I’ve ever seen!”

Vallejo adds, “I gotta agree with you there, Celine. And I’ve seen Will Becket pull some beauts on Neo-Aztecs down in Mexico.”

Back in Bangor, Shira adds her comment: “Damn! All I was doing was embarrass his butt-buddy, and you kill him and make it look damn cool? Leila Shelley, I love you forever!” Jennifer stares in stunned silence; Steve, unable to watch, hides in the next room.

Brinkman, horrified and enraged, coldly growls from the hovering monitor, “I have not seen such depravity in my own flesh and blood.”

Leila sits up suddenly and stares at the Governor in shock. She starts to laugh and climbs to her feet. Once she stands fully, she lets her body convulse with a long hard contemptuous laugh.

The Governor glares down at her. “What’s so funny?”

She picks up Thorwald’s shovel off the alley pavement, raises it high, and brings it down so hard on him that she drives the blade halfway into the pavement, cracking the concrete and slicing his neck in two. The head rolls free from the corpse.

Celine squeals, “Oh my god she cut off his head with the Travelling Shovel of Death!

“Even Will Becket couldn’t beat that move!” adds Vallejo. “Riots be damned, right now we own the ratings!”

Leila picks up the severed head and holds it triumphantly for the rabid reality-TV audience to see, their bloodthirst sated. The hovering cameras capture the image of her bare sleek body covered in sweat, blood, and mud, holding the her ex-lover’s head dripping blood and vomit, a picture of perfect beauty in violence murder and evil. She spins around to thrust the head in the Governor’s face. “You hideous old cur,” she taunts, “who are you to accuse anyone of depravity?” She turns to the camdrones and commands, “Jen! Roll the rape tapes!”

telesphere. From KCUF to E!, from E! to the major networks, the videos hijack the Telesphere and the minds of the audience: Brinkman, young tall and surprisingly pretty, raping his young son and future enemy Arthur; Brinkman untransformed, raping Rob then Leila then Rob again; Brinkman half-transformed and raping both twins at once; Brinkman fully transformed into beast, raping a man to spread the infection and make him a savage werewolf like himself...
[sings to the “nyah nyah nyah” tune] Wally is a wally! Wally is a wally!
highway. At this time of day, Interstate 5 is usually overcrowded with traffic. During the strike, though, it is surprisingly desolate after sundown. The COPCO traffic agents’ attention is elsewhere. Charlie feels free to push her red Mustang to full speed.

Hiding in the Mustang’s back seat, Leila gets a surprise on her phone. “Who is it?” asks Desiree in the passenger seat.

“You don’t wanna know,” Leila answers. She takes the call. She recognizes the smiling man with a face like an elongated frog’s as Jean-Pierre Molotov. He says in a thick French accent, “Congratulations, Leila! You have just pulled off the greatest performance in the entire history of artcrime!”

Leila says, “I didn’t do it for the art. It was strictly revenge.”

Mais non, ma belle. It was all art. Your fame is assured for the ages.”

Je m’en branle.” Charlie and Desiree suffer giggles so uncontrollable they nearly crash the car.

“That is the kind of attitude we pay to cultivate here in—”

Non! Jamais! Va te faire foutre, chiant salaud! Goodbye.” She cuts off the call before he can say anything more. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she says to the sisters struggling to control their laughs in the front seat.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you one bit,” says Desiree. They remain silent for the rest of the trip.

Shira’s apartment. The rain makes the twilight even darker. The Mustang casually slips into the parking garage beneath the building. Leila is unrecognizable in her blue dress and blonde disguise. To avoid encounters, Charlie and Desiree decide to take the elevator rather than the stairs. On the top floor, Leila walks between them. Shira opens the door just before they reach it, and they all slip in. At once, she rips off Leila’s disguise so she’s as naked as herself, then locks her into a hard embrace and kisses her with uncontrollable passion. Charlie and Desiree look on in astonishment.

Desiree muses, “You think they really will elope?”

“Why not?” answers Charlie. “We did.”

After a seeming eternity, the kiss ends, and the lovers gasp. Shira says, “That was too much. You were too much.”

“What was too much?” says Leila deliriously.

“You stole my style.”

“You stole my heart.”

“I wasn’t trying to kill. You were, and you made it look beautiful.”

“I did it for you, Shira.”

“Now I have to worship you forever. Let’s fuck.”

Shira and Leila throw themselves onto the couch, onto each other, and suck each other into a sustained ecstasy that shocks even Shira’ jaded sisters. Charlie says, “She certainly won on style points.”

Desiree adds, “And she’s getting the reward she deserves. They’re making me hot. Take the bed?”

“Why should they have all the fun? Let’s do it!” They run out of the room, into Shira’s bedroom, for some hot lovemaking of their own.

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Copyright © 2011 Dennis Jernberg. Some rights reserved.
Creative Commons License

[Revision 2, 10/19/11: The Spannerbot chase expanded from the outline in the original unpublished draft; everything else is new material.]

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