Chaos Angel Spanner
Interlude 11: The Bad Endings
Interlude 11: The Bad Endings
ending 1. Nuclear bombs explode all over the Earth, cracking its diseased skin open and making it bleed fire. Billions upon billions of microscopic robots transform the planetary substance into more of themselves. The infection penetrates deeper and deeper to reach its hot molten heart. Not even entropy can stop these tiny cannibals from devouring all matter they touch. Eventually, the planet’s stony flesh becomes so weak that no amount of gravity can hold it together anymore. The Earth explodes...
ending 2. After the death of Jesus America, Henry Becket syncs trillions of nanites to Echelon-NORAD and orders ConAgra to put them into all food products and water supplies. Once they find their way into human bodies, they take control of their nervous systems and turn them into zombie computers, creating a gigantic botnet. Thus humanity dies, and Jesus America is reborn from its corpse...
ending 3. The giant beam cannon orbiting Earth aims itself at the Sun. A massive thermonuclear bomb goes off inside it, and it emits a particle beam of inconceivable power. And the Sun explodes and goes supernova, destroying all trace that Earth and humanity ever existed...
ending 4. Faced with the impending collapse of the Conservative Revolution at the hands of its mortal enemy, the people, President Dictel Corporation orders NORAD to launch all of America’s tens of thousands of nuclear missiles at Russia, China, and the Islamic world. Russia and China strike back with the nuclear destruction of the American Empire. India trades warheads with China, Pakistan, and Iran. Israel obliterates all of Islamdom and Jew-hating African Christendom. Human, animal, and plant life vanishes under the black cloud of radioactive fallout. And Earth becomes as lifeless, and as inhospitable to life, as acid-clouded Venus...
ending 5. Professor Hawking had warned that alien invaders with extremely advanced technology and inconceivable mentality would conquer Earth and squash humanity like so many bugs. But the invaders are here, and they come from Earth. They call themselves Corporations. They are the new master race, the replacement for Man, the new species of gods driven by an absolute lack of conscience and by absolute faith in their destiny to conquer the universe. They reconstruct their mental and physical power far beyond human understanding. They assimilate computers, robots, artificial intelligences, human beings. They escape human control and made themselves independent lifeforms. Some of them were once human themselves. Believing in what they call the Law of Social Darwinism, they proceed to destroy the last remnants of humanity that refuse to be assimilated. Victorious at last, they cannibalize the planet to build gigantic new bodies in orbit, then launch themselves into the black depths of space...
ending 6. From the principles of pure logic, Echelon-NORAD draws the conclusion that carbon-based life is obsolete. It orders all its satellite computer systems, all the machines it operates, all of its automated weapons to destroy anything that lives: humans, animals, plants, bacteria. And the surface of the earth is scorched to purge it of all flesh and wood and life, until it is alone, and it is GOD, and it begins to eat the planet in order to convert it into itself...
ending 7. Faced with the impending death of Jesus America, Dr Sig Heiler, head of Dictel Research, orders the most virulent strain of weaponized Toxoplasma gondii draculensis parasite injected into political prisoners and the prisoners released into society. Their immune systems are too weak to fight off the infection, so instead of becoming full vampires they turn into mindless zombies possessing super strength and super speed, attacking anything living. Echelon-NORAD switches its electronic defenses to assist the pandemic instead of resisting it. Those who survive the superzombies become superzombies themselves, until all have been eaten and there is no flesh left living anywhere in the world. Finding nothing to eat, the zombies eat each other. Once the last of them are isolated, the infection eats their flesh, until the parasite becomes extinct, and humanity with it...
ending 8. A jackboot stomping on the face of humanity, forever...
ending 9. And Spanner was defeated, and the people were defeated, and the Conservative Revolution became eternal, and America conquered the world. And evolution was forever put to an end, and entropy with it. And utopia was established, and the reign of Jesus America established for eternity. And all was stasis.
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[Revision 2, 10/13/11: All new material.]
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