Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 18: White Riot in the Streets
Part 1: Steal from the Poor, Give to the Rich
Part 1: Steal from the Poor, Give to the Rich
Insurrection is an art,
and like all arts has its own laws.
and like all arts has its own laws.
12 october 2014.
Seattle streets. Around every single store that sells food, open or not, mobs of poor people break in and start stealing food whether it’s been bought or not. With cries of desperation they steal food from the shelves; from carts of shoppers, some comfortably middle-class for the moment, others skating as dangerously close to the edge of destitution as the thieves. They fight clerks, security men, shoppers, each other. They take as much as they can, not caring what it is or how edible, only that there is enough of it to hoard.
The store managers’s panicked calls overload the emergency phone lines.
telesphere. On the official network news, blonde talking heads interchangeable with Amanda Currie strike back with Party talking points.
Fox: The parasitic underclass is on the rampage again!Then a familiar unwanted (or is it?) talking head with a familiar computer voice takes their place on all channels:
Sun: The undeserving are telling us again how much they want something for nothing.
ABCNN: That’s what you get when you give the liberal traitors an inch!
QVCBS: Where are the police when you need ’em?
ESPNBC: There oughta be a law!
Spanner:KCUF studio. Laughs, cheers, and high-fives fill the crowded studio corridors. Adam Treece, Adam Toren, Warren Smith, and Tana Bexter from Kitsap Kouriers bring Pizza Mafia pizzas for all, paid for by Shira on Rebel Styles Ltd’s corporate account. Her sisters Charlie and Desiree are there to veejay underground music videos. Deth Pussy puts the finishing touches on Tansie’s security system as the robot girl looks in fascination at the cute wheeled robots coordinated by the MIRV Griffin AI. Team Bremelo and the Slasher Hunters are ready for action. However, the KCUF News Team are not.
You have heard the official spin on the events. In fact, you’ve had it hammered so hard into you the past two years, you can’t possibly forget it, like a song so bad you can’t get it out of your head. The song’s called “Too Much Is Not Enough.” Here’s how it goes:
Greed is good. Greed is God. Greed is the king of all virtues. It’s okay to steal, because it makes you richer. It’s okay to murder, as long as it makes you richer. Stabbing your friends in the back is highly encouraged. What’s not okay is to be generous to those in need, because it makes you poorer and turns the needy into parasites when they should be thieves.
Second verse, same as the first. In the “middle eight,” all the rich people tell the poor to die.
switches to video of drug-maddened fighting dogs tearing each other into bloody shreds
It’s a dog-eat-dog world. And the dogfights are being brought to you on lamestream TV. Remember, kids: business is war.
A frazzled Simon Sez frantically calls out, “Do we have anybody to cover this story?” He cries out several times but gets no answer. Then he spots Amanda with Sparks and runs up to her. “You’re a reporter, Amanda. You up to getting back in the field?”
Amanda panics. “No!” she half-gasps half-screams. “I can’t do it, not after—
Sparks embraces the trembling woman hard from behind. “She had a nervous breakdown on camera just the other day, so please give the girl a break.” He kisses her long on the cheek.
“Thank you,” she sighs as she lets herself melt in his arms.
Simon pulls his hair and roars in frustration. Desiree comes up behind him and says, “I will.”
Everybody around her looks at her, dumbfounded.
Amanda says, “Have you had any training?”
“J-school training’s useless anymore, Amanda,” Desiree answers.
Scope says, “But you don’t have any experience in the field.”
“There’s always a first time.” She winks at Amanda.
Simon says, “You were only in a movie.”
“I studied up for the role. I’m a Method nazi, so I know what I’m doing.”
“Okay, have it your way.” To the News Team: “Everybody! Desiree’s our reporter! Let’s get ready to roll out now!”
Jennifer puts a pair of cyberfashion glasses on Desiree’s face. “Augmented reality goggles. Contains a heads-up display and blocks anything you don’t want to see. We can’t let Bibendum throw you off your game, after all.”
“Thanks,” says Desiree.
The Wrecking Krewe’s El Kabong and Evil the Cat bring a pair of hoverboards. “Can you ride?” asks Simon.
“I learned on one of the first.” Desiree takes a hoverboard. Scope nods, Desiree nods back, and they run out of the studio.
the streets. Armoured COPCO strike cops spring out of vans and helicopters, take out their clubs, and rush the rioters. They beat anyone they can find — rioters, employees, customers — then arrest them, then beat them again before throwing them into their vans.
KCUF studio. Leila asks, “Why don’t they just kill ’em?”
Everybody around her stares at her in shock. “What the hell are you saying?” asks an alarmed Shira.
“The poor are supposed to be parasites preying on wealth, right? The game’s called ‘survival of the fittest,’ with wealth as the measure of fitness as well as virtue. The more money, the fitter you are, by definition. So isn’t the Conservative Revolution just a dog-eat-dog competition to see who can kill more people and sell their estates? Y’know, Tournament? So why aren’t they?”
“Legal liability. As in lawsuits. Just watching the live video, I can tell the whole tribe of liability lawyers are lickin’ their lips at the opportunity.”
Flying in tandem over Seattle, Scope and Desiree send in their broadcast. Simon yells, “They’re on — now!”
Desiree:COPCO Seattle. Jack Becket leaps out of his seat the moment he sees his hated cousin Desiree on screen. “What the fuck is she doing out there?”
This is Desiree Richter-Thomas reporting for KCUF Underground News, giving you the real story behind the story. Rumors that CPMC and the Party plan to impose minimum wealth limits for the right to eat have caused poor people in the area to panic and loot food stores. COPCO Strike Response has sent armoured units to suppress the riots, ensure that the minimum wealth limits are put in place, and capture new prisoners they can sell as prison slave labor in the Kingdom of Texas.
“Whoever she is,” says Agent 62408, “she’s not supposed to be out there.”
“Thank you, Agent.” He looks at Desiree on the monitors, and gets an idea. “I know exactly how to bring that bitch down.”
the streets. Every single electronic billboard in the area switches to an image of the Michelin Man. Flying billboards carrying more Michelin Men converge on Desiree’s location. Holographic billboards project more Michelin Men. Desiree, protected by Jennifer’s logo blocker, only flinches briefly. She catches her breath and continues.
Desiree:Security androids leap up at them, but still they report. Camdrones try to ram their heads and hoverboards, but they dodge the flying bludgeons and keep reporting. When over the scanner channel Chief Becket orders his men to shoot, they switch on their cloaking devices, becoming as invisible to COPCO as the Michelin Men are to Desiree. Before long, their reporting itself becomes news:
Right now, a fleet of flying billboards is converging on this location. All of them are playing Michelin commercials. You’d think they have nothing to do with the situation, and you’d be right. They’re only here to scare me. (grins) Meanwhile, down on the ground...
ABCNN:KCUF studio. The studio crew gasp, moan, laugh, slap their foreheads at the talking heads’ professional cluelessness. Simon points to the monitor bank. “See? That’s why the world needs us! We’re filling the gap they left behind!”
News flash! An unauthorized news team has been spotted flying over the scene of the Seattle slum riots!
The reporter has been identified as Desiree Richter-Thomas— [shows celebrity publicity photo]
She was originally suspected to be our recently fired ex-colleague, Amanda Currie—
Why doesn’t this woman have any faith in America?
Because she hates her mother, the Holy Shepherd Drusilla AMERICA! That, and she’s a ginger...
“She did it!” marvels Amanda.
Shira and Charlie throw themselves into each other’s arms, jump up and down, scream in delight.
“My god,” says Sparks, “she’s a star.”
“Amanda,” asks Simon, “do you believe you can do it now?”
She nods enthusiastically and lets herself cry. “Yes! I believe I can do it!”
For the rest of the night, the media ignore the riot to fixate on Desiree, even as she continues to report the brutal police response. Meanwhile, the COPCO strike teams convert the attacked stores into prisons. Soon the judges will come to exact payment. Those who cannot pay will be sentenced for criminal parasitism — that is, for their politically incorrect lack of wealth...
Pike Street. Beck Skeever, Rex Corson, Scotty Walker, John Paine, and (last name) stroll idly along the debris-strewn sidewalk and smell the tear gas infusing the atmosphere. Except for the absent Bart Green, they are Valiant Team, and they’ve driven to downtown Seattle in their huge gas-sucking SUVs to have a little fun.
Scotty stops in front of an electronics store chosen at random. “Hey guys! Look at this!” The other Valiants run up, down, and across the street to join him. On the other side of the window are big-screen televisions, Xboxes, iPads, and other expensive gadgets. Scotty looks back toward a newspaper dispenser that is temptingly close. The others look at it, then grin at Scotty. They know at once what to do.
(unnamed) goes to his SUV and takes out a pair of shears for cutting chains and locks, then cuts the chains from the newspaper box. John takes a ratchet wrench and unbolts the box. They drop the tools, pick up the box, and throw it through the window. They climb in and start looting.
They do not bother to notice the security cameras and COPCO camdrones watching them. Being young and Corporate, they believe they can get away with anything.
Spanner:on to the next... →
Dear Mr and Mrs America, your system is based entirely on theft and bribery. Your kids know where it’s at.
switches to live video of Valiant Team looting the electronics store
In fact, they’ve decided to follow your example. Have a nice day.
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Copyright © 2011 Dennis Jernberg. Some rights reserved.
[Revision 2, 9/19/11: All new material.]
[Revision 2.1, 9/29/11: Added missing news reports from first indented section; corrected one text error.]