Editing Chapters 4 through 8 for the Final Revision turned out to be harder than I thought. Turning Interludes 3 and later into neo-modernist storytelling experiments didn't help. I barely finished Chapter 8 and Interlude 6 in time. But now the hard work's done for now; after this, it's smooth, uh, editing for the next four or five chapters. Parts of Chapters 9 and 10 were substantially finished in Revision 3; even in Chapters 11 through 13, which only made it to Revision 2, have large sections that won't need much editing. I'm hoping to speed up the edits because...
I've decided to completely revamp Chapter 14. Some of the Revision 2 scenes go on way too long; some scenes I can put anywhere between Chapters 9 and 21. Chapter 14, now called "Plots and Plans" for the Final Revision, will have two parts, intercut using yWriter5 like so much else in Revision 4: the present-day (i.e. 10/4/14) "plots and plans" of the title, each one followed by a series of flashbacks to previous chapters and even the still unplotted Book Zero and running backwards. This should make Chapter 14 an impressive enough lead-in to the monumental Revision 4 version of the pivotal Chapter 15.
It continues...
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
Spanner 8.5: Closer to the Edge
← ...from previous
blake island. Football was cancelled today, so Dexter decided now is the time to give Shira her birthday gift. The salmon dinner prepared by the Native American cooks at Tillicum Village is as exquisite as it is expensive, but Shira and Dexter are underage so they get no wine. Dexter marvels at how Shira can get such intense pleasure from food. “Oh Dexter,” Shira deliriously rhapsodizes, “thank you so much for the wonderful dinner. I’ve fallen totally in love with you all over again.”
“Happy birthday, baby.” Dexter winks. They clink together their glasses of iced tea. “You been worrying about Leila too much lately. You need a break.”
Shira sighs. “They’re treating her like shit and it’s breaking my heart. She needs me, Dex. Me and you and everybody else, before she hurts herself.”
“I’ll do what I can to help. You need a little comforting tonight?” Dexter winks.
“Damn right I do.” Shira winks back.
red house. As soon as Charlie locks the door she strips off her sweat-drenched clothes and then Sylvia’s. A robot rolls over to vacuum up the clothes and speed them to the wash. Charlie pulls Sylvia’s bare trembling body tight against hers, violently kisses her lips then her neck and down to her breasts, sucks her breasts, bites her nipples and makes her scream in pain and ecstasy, licks and bites her nether lips, bites her clit, plunges her tongue deep into her cunt — for the first time in her life Sylvia truly feels her body explode—
In the shower the warm water soothes their skin. With her bare hands Charlie soaps up and rubs down Sylvia’s quaking body with expertise of long experience; she tickles her gently, then gives her breasts special attention, caressing them, squeezing them, gently torturing her painfully hard nipples till she starts to scream, then squeezing her soft shapely buttocks, finally caressing and squeezing her nether lips, caressing in between, making love to her with her fingers, inflicting sweet torture on her hard sensitive clit and a new place she can feel within her vagina, suddenly her mind blows the world disappears all is violent bliss — she collapses into Charlie’s arms and lets out long soft sighs; Charlie holds her close and kisses her deeply and inserts her fingers into her own cunt and fingers Sylvia’s, they ride on pure love pure ecstasy while the warm water gently pounds—
She carries Sylvia over the threshold, throws her on the bed, jumps her, kisses her violently — they drink the sweet hot nectar of each other’s cunts, bite the clits, plunge their tongues deep, build to ultimate climax, ride beyond, and—
suddenly time and space cease to exist, Sylvia’s consciousness collapses into her body, her body into Charlie’s, their fused essence now one with mother earth and all life and the whole universe, God or absolute essence — she realizes she is now in eternity, this is a true mystical experience, and she belongs body and soul totally to Charlie forever...
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 8: Rip Her to Shreds
Part 5: Closer to the Edge (Final Revision)
Part 5: Closer to the Edge (Final Revision)
blake island. Football was cancelled today, so Dexter decided now is the time to give Shira her birthday gift. The salmon dinner prepared by the Native American cooks at Tillicum Village is as exquisite as it is expensive, but Shira and Dexter are underage so they get no wine. Dexter marvels at how Shira can get such intense pleasure from food. “Oh Dexter,” Shira deliriously rhapsodizes, “thank you so much for the wonderful dinner. I’ve fallen totally in love with you all over again.”
“Happy birthday, baby.” Dexter winks. They clink together their glasses of iced tea. “You been worrying about Leila too much lately. You need a break.”
Shira sighs. “They’re treating her like shit and it’s breaking my heart. She needs me, Dex. Me and you and everybody else, before she hurts herself.”
“I’ll do what I can to help. You need a little comforting tonight?” Dexter winks.
“Damn right I do.” Shira winks back.
red house. As soon as Charlie locks the door she strips off her sweat-drenched clothes and then Sylvia’s. A robot rolls over to vacuum up the clothes and speed them to the wash. Charlie pulls Sylvia’s bare trembling body tight against hers, violently kisses her lips then her neck and down to her breasts, sucks her breasts, bites her nipples and makes her scream in pain and ecstasy, licks and bites her nether lips, bites her clit, plunges her tongue deep into her cunt — for the first time in her life Sylvia truly feels her body explode—
In the shower the warm water soothes their skin. With her bare hands Charlie soaps up and rubs down Sylvia’s quaking body with expertise of long experience; she tickles her gently, then gives her breasts special attention, caressing them, squeezing them, gently torturing her painfully hard nipples till she starts to scream, then squeezing her soft shapely buttocks, finally caressing and squeezing her nether lips, caressing in between, making love to her with her fingers, inflicting sweet torture on her hard sensitive clit and a new place she can feel within her vagina, suddenly her mind blows the world disappears all is violent bliss — she collapses into Charlie’s arms and lets out long soft sighs; Charlie holds her close and kisses her deeply and inserts her fingers into her own cunt and fingers Sylvia’s, they ride on pure love pure ecstasy while the warm water gently pounds—
She carries Sylvia over the threshold, throws her on the bed, jumps her, kisses her violently — they drink the sweet hot nectar of each other’s cunts, bite the clits, plunge their tongues deep, build to ultimate climax, ride beyond, and—
suddenly time and space cease to exist, Sylvia’s consciousness collapses into her body, her body into Charlie’s, their fused essence now one with mother earth and all life and the whole universe, God or absolute essence — she realizes she is now in eternity, this is a true mystical experience, and she belongs body and soul totally to Charlie forever...
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Spanner 8.4: Hide in Plain Sight
← ...from previous
18 september 2014.
shira’s apartment. Shira is sitting up naked against her bed’s headboard reading a book when her bedmate rolls over to face her. She flings the covers off Rob so she can get a good look at his gorgeous body. She kneels above him like a tigress admiring her prey, smiling mischievously. He can’t stop himself from giggling like a girl. She purrs, “I wish there were more guys like you, with beautiful bodies and beautiful hearts.”
“What about Frank?”
She frowns. “He’s not as pretty as he looks. Charlie says she’ll take care of him.” Her mischievous smile returns. “Now turn over.” She rolls him over so she can squeeze and kiss his beautiful buttocks and make him squeal. Then out comes the strap-on, and soon Shira is entering him from behind...
lockers. Charmian confronts Shira in her cheerleader uniform . “What’s this rumor you’re spreading about steroids?”
Shira flashes a cockeyed smirk. “Didn’t you see what happened on the field, Charms? Now I’m hearing Frankie Becket’s involved.” She winks wickedly.
Charmian harrumphs contemptuously, turns on her heel, and flounces away.
Nearby, Leila opens her locker only to find a barbaric shrunken head staring her in the face. She faints dead away; Shira hurries over to catch her before she hits the ground hard, then gently sets her down. She stands up to look at the head. Jennifer runs over. Shira takes the head out so they can inspect it.
Two blond pigtails fall down to each side.
Jennifer asks, “Looks like Bunny Strakeljahn’s. One of Ollie’s souvenirs?”
“Won’t Bunny herself be amused when she comes back.”
They hear giggles behind them. They look that direction and catch a glimpse of Christina, Marina, and two freshman friends scurrying away.
homeroom. Homeroom teacher number eleven is Mr. Jones, who explains, “You know the real problem with liberals? They can’t be satisfied with godly white women. They gotta have their black meat—”
“You mean they’re both ‘nigger lovers’ and ‘fags’?” interrupts Jennifer. “Funny, I thought liberals were uppity white women who refuse to realize their true place is with their sister wives in the chosen rich men’s harems.”
Shira stands up, throws back her head, and laughs. Mr. Jones sputters in incoherent rage. The other tutors laugh helplessly. But the kids from the school establishment remain silent.
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 8: Rip Her to Shreds
Part 4: Hide in Plain Sight (Final Revision)
Part 4: Hide in Plain Sight (Final Revision)
18 september 2014.
shira’s apartment. Shira is sitting up naked against her bed’s headboard reading a book when her bedmate rolls over to face her. She flings the covers off Rob so she can get a good look at his gorgeous body. She kneels above him like a tigress admiring her prey, smiling mischievously. He can’t stop himself from giggling like a girl. She purrs, “I wish there were more guys like you, with beautiful bodies and beautiful hearts.”
“What about Frank?”
She frowns. “He’s not as pretty as he looks. Charlie says she’ll take care of him.” Her mischievous smile returns. “Now turn over.” She rolls him over so she can squeeze and kiss his beautiful buttocks and make him squeal. Then out comes the strap-on, and soon Shira is entering him from behind...
lockers. Charmian confronts Shira in her cheerleader uniform . “What’s this rumor you’re spreading about steroids?”
Shira flashes a cockeyed smirk. “Didn’t you see what happened on the field, Charms? Now I’m hearing Frankie Becket’s involved.” She winks wickedly.
Charmian harrumphs contemptuously, turns on her heel, and flounces away.
Nearby, Leila opens her locker only to find a barbaric shrunken head staring her in the face. She faints dead away; Shira hurries over to catch her before she hits the ground hard, then gently sets her down. She stands up to look at the head. Jennifer runs over. Shira takes the head out so they can inspect it.
Two blond pigtails fall down to each side.
Jennifer asks, “Looks like Bunny Strakeljahn’s. One of Ollie’s souvenirs?”
“Won’t Bunny herself be amused when she comes back.”
They hear giggles behind them. They look that direction and catch a glimpse of Christina, Marina, and two freshman friends scurrying away.
homeroom. Homeroom teacher number eleven is Mr. Jones, who explains, “You know the real problem with liberals? They can’t be satisfied with godly white women. They gotta have their black meat—”
“You mean they’re both ‘nigger lovers’ and ‘fags’?” interrupts Jennifer. “Funny, I thought liberals were uppity white women who refuse to realize their true place is with their sister wives in the chosen rich men’s harems.”
Shira stands up, throws back her head, and laughs. Mr. Jones sputters in incoherent rage. The other tutors laugh helplessly. But the kids from the school establishment remain silent.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Spanner 8.3: Breaking Up the Girl
← ...from previous
15 september 2014.
shira’s apartment. Shira is sitting up naked against her bed’s headboard reading a book when her bedmate rolls over to face her. Charlie flings the covers away so Shira can have a good look at her older half-sister’s curvy nude body. “We haven’t slept together in ages,” she purrs. “I forgot just how insane you are in bed.”
“You wanna protect me, I gotta reward you.” Shira throws herself onto her sister; they wrap each other up in their arms and kiss furiously.
Suddenly they hear a girl screaming in rage. Hope yells, “Ayla! Stop it!” Shira and Charlie leap out of bed together and rush to the spare bedroom, where Ayla is destroying Shira’s shrine to Leila. “Nooooo! You love me!” She starts throwing things at Shira. The sisters duck out of the room.
“Dependent Personality Disorder?” asks Charlie.
“With bonus histrionics,” Shira replies. “We better keep your mother away from her.”
west bremerton. Shira drives Jennifer, Cory, Kio, and Polly in her beloved cherry-red Mustang down Kitsap Way toward the roundabout to Northlake Way which becomes Seabeck Highway in Bangor. “Wow!” marvels Polly, “I didn’t know you had such an awesome car!”
Shira winks. “I even named her myself. Rio, introduce yourself.”
In her Mae West-like voice, Rio purrs, “Hi, my name is Rio.”
Everybody says together, “Hi, Rio!”
Cory says, “I hope they don’t key your car.”
Shira laughs. “If she can handle serial killers, she can handle a few mean girls.”
Up Northlake Way they drive away toward Bangor.
cafeteria. Bart stands on a table and declares to an intimidated student body, “I’m having none of this love stuff! If y’all ain’t right with Jesus America, you’re down with the Devil! I’ll sink all your so-called ‘ships with my fist!“
Brandi and Jennifer stand together near the hallway, arms crossed, staring back at him with ironic smiles that dare him to throw them a Challenge.
homeroom. Daisy Kwon, last of the tutors to arrive, is back after suffering the flu. Marina Reyes is no longer on speaking terms with him; instead, she’s bonding with Christina, her fellow half-Cuban American. Homeroom teacher number eight is Yasmin Khoury, the science teacher. Scotty leaps up and shouts, “You don’t look like no science teacher to me — you’re too pretty!”
Jennifer stands up and shouts, “Excuse me?”
“You can’t be no scientist, Blair!” he mocks.
“You’re the typical mindless jock, Walker. I, am a great mind trapped in a great body! It’s all because of her, and I am in love with her for it.”
Shira leans on him and purrs, “Face it, Scotty boy. If Yas weren’t brilliant and scientific enough to break away from two wacko cults, she wouldn’t be alive today, and neither would I. For that, I will adore her forever.”
Christina, Marina, Kelly, and Debbie shout, “Eww!” Shira and Jennifer laugh at them.
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 8: Rip Her to Shreds
Part 3: Breaking up the Girl (Final Revision)
Part 3: Breaking up the Girl (Final Revision)
15 september 2014.
shira’s apartment. Shira is sitting up naked against her bed’s headboard reading a book when her bedmate rolls over to face her. Charlie flings the covers away so Shira can have a good look at her older half-sister’s curvy nude body. “We haven’t slept together in ages,” she purrs. “I forgot just how insane you are in bed.”
“You wanna protect me, I gotta reward you.” Shira throws herself onto her sister; they wrap each other up in their arms and kiss furiously.
Suddenly they hear a girl screaming in rage. Hope yells, “Ayla! Stop it!” Shira and Charlie leap out of bed together and rush to the spare bedroom, where Ayla is destroying Shira’s shrine to Leila. “Nooooo! You love me!” She starts throwing things at Shira. The sisters duck out of the room.
“Dependent Personality Disorder?” asks Charlie.
“With bonus histrionics,” Shira replies. “We better keep your mother away from her.”
west bremerton. Shira drives Jennifer, Cory, Kio, and Polly in her beloved cherry-red Mustang down Kitsap Way toward the roundabout to Northlake Way which becomes Seabeck Highway in Bangor. “Wow!” marvels Polly, “I didn’t know you had such an awesome car!”
Shira winks. “I even named her myself. Rio, introduce yourself.”
In her Mae West-like voice, Rio purrs, “Hi, my name is Rio.”
Everybody says together, “Hi, Rio!”
Cory says, “I hope they don’t key your car.”
Shira laughs. “If she can handle serial killers, she can handle a few mean girls.”
Up Northlake Way they drive away toward Bangor.
cafeteria. Bart stands on a table and declares to an intimidated student body, “I’m having none of this love stuff! If y’all ain’t right with Jesus America, you’re down with the Devil! I’ll sink all your so-called ‘ships with my fist!“
Brandi and Jennifer stand together near the hallway, arms crossed, staring back at him with ironic smiles that dare him to throw them a Challenge.
homeroom. Daisy Kwon, last of the tutors to arrive, is back after suffering the flu. Marina Reyes is no longer on speaking terms with him; instead, she’s bonding with Christina, her fellow half-Cuban American. Homeroom teacher number eight is Yasmin Khoury, the science teacher. Scotty leaps up and shouts, “You don’t look like no science teacher to me — you’re too pretty!”
Jennifer stands up and shouts, “Excuse me?”
“You can’t be no scientist, Blair!” he mocks.
“You’re the typical mindless jock, Walker. I, am a great mind trapped in a great body! It’s all because of her, and I am in love with her for it.”
Shira leans on him and purrs, “Face it, Scotty boy. If Yas weren’t brilliant and scientific enough to break away from two wacko cults, she wouldn’t be alive today, and neither would I. For that, I will adore her forever.”
Christina, Marina, Kelly, and Debbie shout, “Eww!” Shira and Jennifer laugh at them.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Spanner 8.2: All in the Cards
← ...from previous
14 september 2014.
bainbridge island. A man’s voice speaks through Drusilla’s spectacularly robed body. He is not man but god: Ra, leader of the Nine who make up the One God incarnate as America. Though her body channels the god’s voice, the god channels Drusilla’s frustration. He speaks her words to their adoring disciples.
“It offends Us that she whom We have chosen should scorn Us and her role in Our mission of transforming Our glorious Remnant into the Sixth Men whose destiny it is to reclaim the solar system for Man and conquer the kingdom of space. She now consorts with the idea of turning her devotion from Us to the Angel of Chaos.”
Horrified at the very idea, the disciples gasp. “Spanner?”
“The Angel of Chaos has taken flesh in the image of Lilith, evil angel of lust. His chosen fleshly vehicle partakes of descent from the lowly native race and is of a lineage of black magic. Our chosen is of the lineage of Hathor. Her lineage must not be compromised by the power of Chaos. Do whatever you must.”
A disciple asks, “Holy One, what should be done with the ones who attacked Your chosen?”
“Reno Corson is a beast masquerading as a man. Tonight he will be dead.”
shira’s apartment. Someone knocks on the door. Mikan stops playing the piano. Catalina runs up to bark. Shira walks up, pets Catalina, takes a peek through the peephole, puts on her robe, and opens the door.
Ariel Shield wears a modest black dress, an ornate black-and-silver jacket, a bowler hat, and a smile. “May I come in?” Shira lets her in. She lets Catalina smell her, then pets her. “Please make sure you lock the door behind you.”
“This has something to do with Leila, doesn’t it.”
“I saved her. Oliver thought he was saving her. Now he’s raving about someone he’s calling ‘Slender Man.’“
Shira looks at her strangely. “You mean as in the Darknet creepypastas?”
“It’s based on a legend of Nazi Germany. The legend is true. It’s closely connected to the Beckets, and thus their precious Conservative Revolution.”
“So what did he have to say?”
Shira hears her phone signal an upload.
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 8: Rip Her to Shreds
Part 2: All in the Cards (Final Revision)
Part 2: All in the Cards (Final Revision)
14 september 2014.
bainbridge island. A man’s voice speaks through Drusilla’s spectacularly robed body. He is not man but god: Ra, leader of the Nine who make up the One God incarnate as America. Though her body channels the god’s voice, the god channels Drusilla’s frustration. He speaks her words to their adoring disciples.
“It offends Us that she whom We have chosen should scorn Us and her role in Our mission of transforming Our glorious Remnant into the Sixth Men whose destiny it is to reclaim the solar system for Man and conquer the kingdom of space. She now consorts with the idea of turning her devotion from Us to the Angel of Chaos.”
Horrified at the very idea, the disciples gasp. “Spanner?”
“The Angel of Chaos has taken flesh in the image of Lilith, evil angel of lust. His chosen fleshly vehicle partakes of descent from the lowly native race and is of a lineage of black magic. Our chosen is of the lineage of Hathor. Her lineage must not be compromised by the power of Chaos. Do whatever you must.”
A disciple asks, “Holy One, what should be done with the ones who attacked Your chosen?”
“Reno Corson is a beast masquerading as a man. Tonight he will be dead.”
shira’s apartment. Someone knocks on the door. Mikan stops playing the piano. Catalina runs up to bark. Shira walks up, pets Catalina, takes a peek through the peephole, puts on her robe, and opens the door.
Ariel Shield wears a modest black dress, an ornate black-and-silver jacket, a bowler hat, and a smile. “May I come in?” Shira lets her in. She lets Catalina smell her, then pets her. “Please make sure you lock the door behind you.”
“This has something to do with Leila, doesn’t it.”
“I saved her. Oliver thought he was saving her. Now he’s raving about someone he’s calling ‘Slender Man.’“
Shira looks at her strangely. “You mean as in the Darknet creepypastas?”
“It’s based on a legend of Nazi Germany. The legend is true. It’s closely connected to the Beckets, and thus their precious Conservative Revolution.”
“So what did he have to say?”
Shira hears her phone signal an upload.
Oliver: (panicked, pacing) Slendy’s real, man! I saw him! You were there! You stole Leila right outta his hands! You shot at him!Ariel: He was a super soldier—Oliver: You ain’t fucking getting it, man. Nobody who sees him survives. All those people taping and blogging about him? They’re all fucking dead! (paces) Shit, shit, shit. We’re all fuckin’ doomed!Ariel: Are we...
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Spanner 8.1: Black Caturday
← ...from previous
13 september 2014.
dreamspace. The beastman chases Leila. If he catches her, he’ll rip her to shreds with his teeth and eat her. She runs as fast as she can and tries to avoid him. Her body is covered in blood from the wounds he has carved into her flesh with his fangs and claws. Every time she thinks she’s lost him, he attacks her again without warning.
Several times, she wakes up screaming. She tries to sleep again, but the nightmare only continues from where it left off. Reno Corson, come back from the grave for revenge, continues to rape her again and again—
hospital. No one comes to see Leila. Surely her grandfather is keeping her friends away from her just to punish her for defying his will. The more she knows about Walter Brinkman, the more she hates him. At times, the hate threatens to consume her. She fights it back.
She struggles to remember who raped her. He treated her viciously. As he raped her and beat her, he ranted endlessly about how woman is a danger to American manhood. Reno? Or Frank?
Oliver wasn’t being kind when he rescued her. He believes Shira killed his father. Now Shira’s taking her away from him, and he's freaked. She wishes she had delivered the bomb herself. Her mother must have sent it, trying to protect her. For a moment she hates her mother for not protecting her from Oliver and Reno this time. But reason prevails: the Governor uses her, Oliver wants to enslave her, Reno wants to rape her, Frank wants her dead, Drusilla...
Silently she swears she will find some way to destroy them.
Despair and hatred seep through her body, consume it, caress it, fills it with hideous blackness. She tries to shock it away, but remembers the last bed she destroyed that way. She gains control of herself, pushes it back slowly, reclaims herself from the darkness.
The memory of Shira’s kiss touches her lips, her body. The darkness flees. Leila sighs in relief. She won’t turn evil. At least not now.
copco bremerton. It’s almost a formality. Shockley intercepts Shira and hauls her into interrogation. Sparks is there with her; Kowalczyk watches outside, eagerly anticipating whatever Shira will pull. Sparks begins the questioning with a formality. “Now if you’ll help me here, maybe we can catch the motherfucker who did this to Leila.”
Shira stares at Shockley. A bitter tone creeps into her otherwise chilly voice. “Princess, you know what rape really is?”
Shockley tries to shout her down; Shira silences her with a hard glare. Sparks asks calmly, “So, then, what is it, really?”
“Terrorism, that’s what.”
Shockley slaps her forehead and rolls her eyes. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“Seriously. Rape is defined as terrorism against women. It’s official government policy in the Caliphate. Now the problem with terrorists is, they’re trying to be superheroes. They got the contempt for women that Superman used to have for Lois Lane, only worse. You can practically hear ’em sneering, ‘We’re heroes and you’re not.’ But wait — it gets better than that. Terrorists are fanatical dualists committing their dirty deeds in the name of the Absolute. To rapists, Woman is the Devil out to unman Man, so Man must relentlessly retaliate against Woman with maximum terror — rape, and worse.”
“And this explains what Reno Corson did to Leila.”
“Him, Ollie Thorwald, and their gangster friends.”
Sparks rolls his eyes. “Ollie’s here, by the way, raving about Slender Man.”
Shira looks strangely first at Shockley, then at Sparks. “You know that’s just a net.meme, J.T.”
He shrugs. “What do I know.”
On the other side of the window Kowalczyk and Perry stare wide-eyed at each other. Kowalczyk asks, “You just hear what I heard?”
Perry narrows her eyes. “Sounds crazy.” She goes into the interrogation room to announce, “Hey, guys, we just found Reno and his gang. Looking like they was napalm bombed.”
“Looks like somebody already got him,” says Shira. Sparks laughs.
Outside, he says, “I think I need a break from this police stuff.”
Shira asks, “Can I buy you donuts and coffee?”
“Excellent idea.”
“I know this place right across from the hospital.”
“So let’s go.”
Sparks and Shira leave together. Kowalczyk calls back, “Hey, bring me some when you get back!” They wink back.
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 8: Rip Her to Shreds
Part 1: Black Caturday (Final Revision)
Part 1: Black Caturday (Final Revision)
Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel
is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
anonymous
is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
anonymous
13 september 2014.
dreamspace. The beastman chases Leila. If he catches her, he’ll rip her to shreds with his teeth and eat her. She runs as fast as she can and tries to avoid him. Her body is covered in blood from the wounds he has carved into her flesh with his fangs and claws. Every time she thinks she’s lost him, he attacks her again without warning.
Several times, she wakes up screaming. She tries to sleep again, but the nightmare only continues from where it left off. Reno Corson, come back from the grave for revenge, continues to rape her again and again—
hospital. No one comes to see Leila. Surely her grandfather is keeping her friends away from her just to punish her for defying his will. The more she knows about Walter Brinkman, the more she hates him. At times, the hate threatens to consume her. She fights it back.
She struggles to remember who raped her. He treated her viciously. As he raped her and beat her, he ranted endlessly about how woman is a danger to American manhood. Reno? Or Frank?
Oliver wasn’t being kind when he rescued her. He believes Shira killed his father. Now Shira’s taking her away from him, and he's freaked. She wishes she had delivered the bomb herself. Her mother must have sent it, trying to protect her. For a moment she hates her mother for not protecting her from Oliver and Reno this time. But reason prevails: the Governor uses her, Oliver wants to enslave her, Reno wants to rape her, Frank wants her dead, Drusilla...
Silently she swears she will find some way to destroy them.
Despair and hatred seep through her body, consume it, caress it, fills it with hideous blackness. She tries to shock it away, but remembers the last bed she destroyed that way. She gains control of herself, pushes it back slowly, reclaims herself from the darkness.
The memory of Shira’s kiss touches her lips, her body. The darkness flees. Leila sighs in relief. She won’t turn evil. At least not now.
copco bremerton. It’s almost a formality. Shockley intercepts Shira and hauls her into interrogation. Sparks is there with her; Kowalczyk watches outside, eagerly anticipating whatever Shira will pull. Sparks begins the questioning with a formality. “Now if you’ll help me here, maybe we can catch the motherfucker who did this to Leila.”
Shira stares at Shockley. A bitter tone creeps into her otherwise chilly voice. “Princess, you know what rape really is?”
Shockley tries to shout her down; Shira silences her with a hard glare. Sparks asks calmly, “So, then, what is it, really?”
“Terrorism, that’s what.”
Shockley slaps her forehead and rolls her eyes. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“Seriously. Rape is defined as terrorism against women. It’s official government policy in the Caliphate. Now the problem with terrorists is, they’re trying to be superheroes. They got the contempt for women that Superman used to have for Lois Lane, only worse. You can practically hear ’em sneering, ‘We’re heroes and you’re not.’ But wait — it gets better than that. Terrorists are fanatical dualists committing their dirty deeds in the name of the Absolute. To rapists, Woman is the Devil out to unman Man, so Man must relentlessly retaliate against Woman with maximum terror — rape, and worse.”
“And this explains what Reno Corson did to Leila.”
“Him, Ollie Thorwald, and their gangster friends.”
Sparks rolls his eyes. “Ollie’s here, by the way, raving about Slender Man.”
Shira looks strangely first at Shockley, then at Sparks. “You know that’s just a net.meme, J.T.”
He shrugs. “What do I know.”
On the other side of the window Kowalczyk and Perry stare wide-eyed at each other. Kowalczyk asks, “You just hear what I heard?”
Perry narrows her eyes. “Sounds crazy.” She goes into the interrogation room to announce, “Hey, guys, we just found Reno and his gang. Looking like they was napalm bombed.”
“Looks like somebody already got him,” says Shira. Sparks laughs.
Outside, he says, “I think I need a break from this police stuff.”
Shira asks, “Can I buy you donuts and coffee?”
“Excellent idea.”
“I know this place right across from the hospital.”
“So let’s go.”
Sparks and Shira leave together. Kowalczyk calls back, “Hey, bring me some when you get back!” They wink back.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Spanner Interlude 5: Approaching Solstice, December 2012
← ...from previous
“Mina, did you lower our security level? I told you we’d be attacked by terrorists!”
“Stop being an idiot, Lars! Let’s stop whoever’s doing this before they pirate our Intellectual Property!”
They try to contact their head of security only to listen in on his keening wordless death aria.
Taking advantage of the panic, weaving through the fleeing mob, Dr. Wendy Chaloner (27) leads three Factor Positive subjects and a Sexaroid named Priscilla Persocom in a desperate escape: Yolanda Currie, 24, short brown hair; Leila Shelley, 13, long black hair and violet eyes; Lucie Stenbeck, 6, blond-haired blue-eyed acquisition from a terminated terrorist and now being carried by the faithful Miss Persocom as they flee Biotron Labs past the twitching gurgling Dictel Security corpses under the watchful eyes of Rebel Styles, to the garage where they take her car and speed out before the virus can self-destruct the complex.
Chaos Angel Spanner
Interlude 5: Approaching Solstice, December 2012
Interlude 5: Approaching Solstice, December 2012
the medium. Nine voices come out of the mouth of a spectacularly robed Drusilla Becket in her gaudy temple made of gold and gems and rich fabrics yet built at strange angles that defeat Leila’s mind and make her head spin. Through their channel the nine chant their message from beyond as if chanting a spell to foreordain Leila’s future. In their singsong ninefold voice the nine principles of God speak as one through Drusilla’s lips down to Leila. “We are well pleased that you have successfully transcended what had been chosen for you so that you may be prepared for a higher destiny, yes. We are choosing you for a destiny that is higher, yes. For the end of the aeon of the Fifth Men as signalled by the ending of the Mayan calendar is at hand, the day when the Reckoning shall begin and the way is prepared for the coming of the Sixth Men that shall succeed the Fifth Men that are now dominant on this planet, yes. And the work to purify this planet of the children of the Evil One who worship the black jewel in his infernal crown, and the Evil One has introduced the virus into the programming of humanity, and this planet must be disinfected of this virus and of the race of Darkness that infects the mind of the Fifth Race so that the Sixth Race may not come, yes. And you, our chosen one, must make the sacrifice necessary to purify this planet so that the aeon of the Sixth Race may be born and reign over the kingdom of space. You do understand, yes.”escape: Alarms sound — people panic throughout the complex — the Biotron Labs mainframe has been taken over by a virus that streams loliporn Rebel Styles videos from the Darknet with no way to stop them short of destroying the computer with bombs. Lars Thorwald and Mina Tatsumi, the bioweapons engineers who own and run Biotron, blame each other to the accompaniment of Rebel Rebel’s sweet giggles over a chorus of screaming dying men.
Leila nods reluctantly. She refuses to trust these godly words with their godly contempt for human grammar and thought. She witnessed what their anointed did to Yolanda Currie. She is not yet fourteen, yet she knows her life is already over even though it has barely begun. Unknown to Drusilla and the nine-principled God whose speaker she is pleased to be, Leila plots her own assassination.
“Mina, did you lower our security level? I told you we’d be attacked by terrorists!”
“Stop being an idiot, Lars! Let’s stop whoever’s doing this before they pirate our Intellectual Property!”
They try to contact their head of security only to listen in on his keening wordless death aria.
Taking advantage of the panic, weaving through the fleeing mob, Dr. Wendy Chaloner (27) leads three Factor Positive subjects and a Sexaroid named Priscilla Persocom in a desperate escape: Yolanda Currie, 24, short brown hair; Leila Shelley, 13, long black hair and violet eyes; Lucie Stenbeck, 6, blond-haired blue-eyed acquisition from a terminated terrorist and now being carried by the faithful Miss Persocom as they flee Biotron Labs past the twitching gurgling Dictel Security corpses under the watchful eyes of Rebel Styles, to the garage where they take her car and speed out before the virus can self-destruct the complex.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Spanner Chapter 7: Love Missile (Revision 4)
← Chapter 6
Jennifer, having hit it off with Brandi, passes her final test and joins the Slasher Hunters group trying to recruit her since the Blake Island incident. Shira and Hope discuss what to do with their adoring unwanted visitor. Debbie asks Shira what her trick is in scoring goals. All America stops its business for September 11, “Patriot Day.” Disaster strikes the football field at Dictel Stadium even as Shira pulls one of her legendary pranks. Shira’s birthday arrives, and she receives a special gift — not the car, nor the Python-powered Furby — that leads to the first of a whole string of disasters that will have major political significance...
The trouble’s now coming fast and furious. Can you handle it?
Special Guest Stars: Vice President SarahPalin AMERICA! and her dog Spot! soon-to-be ex-husband...
Table of Contents:
The introduction to Revision 1, with revision updates [note: original First Revision title was “Here Come the Brides”]:
Back to Chaos Angel Spanner table of contents...
Chaos Angel Spanner — Book 1: Rock City Blues
Chapter 7: Love Missile (Revision 4)
Chapter 7: Love Missile (Revision 4)
Jennifer, having hit it off with Brandi, passes her final test and joins the Slasher Hunters group trying to recruit her since the Blake Island incident. Shira and Hope discuss what to do with their adoring unwanted visitor. Debbie asks Shira what her trick is in scoring goals. All America stops its business for September 11, “Patriot Day.” Disaster strikes the football field at Dictel Stadium even as Shira pulls one of her legendary pranks. Shira’s birthday arrives, and she receives a special gift — not the car, nor the Python-powered Furby — that leads to the first of a whole string of disasters that will have major political significance...
The trouble’s now coming fast and furious. Can you handle it?
Special Guest Stars: Vice President Sarah
Table of Contents:
- She Shoots, She Scores (July 16, 2011, Final Revision 8/22/12)
- The Marriage Exception (July 9, 2011, Final Revision 8/23/12)
- Through Being Cool (July 11, 2011, Final Revision 8/24/12)
- The Birthday Party (July 12, 2011, Final Revision 8/25/12)
- Patriot Day (July 13, 2011, Final Revision 8/26/12)
- Seize the Day (July 14, 2011, Final Revision 8/27/12)
- Interlude 5: Approaching Solstice, December 2012 (August 29, 2012)
The introduction to Revision 1, with revision updates [note: original First Revision title was “Here Come the Brides”]:
Okay, yuri fans, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. Originally Chapter 5 in the original JulNoWriMo 2010 draft, this entire chapter is pure yuri in concentrate. Ironically, it has nothing about the story’s central relationship, the one between Shira and Leila...Chapter 8 →
Even though I wrote this chapter from scratch in July and all its story ideas are new, it has its roots in the mid-Nineties origin of Spanner. First I read Camille Paglia’s Sexual Personae in 1992, then I found the infamous yaoi manga Desperate Love 1989 (Zetsuai) in fan translation online in 1996. The combination was as explosive as the chemical reaction that results when you put metallic sodium in water, and Spanner began to take its mature form as the yuri manga I wanted it to be. You can consider this chapter an aftershock of that mind bomb.
Second Revision Update: The original chapter intro still holds true. Except for the part about this chapter having nothing to do with the Shira/Leila relationship; I corrected that issue, since the two have now known each other since Chapter 3...
Third Edition Update: You’ll notice a major change in the section order. The former 8.1 is now in its proper place as the first part of this chapter, as the new 7.1 immediately followed 6.6 in the first draft (when they were the end of Chapter 7 and the beginning of Chapter 8). Leila now has a greatly expanded role, since she is the star of Chapter 8. Ayla’s name has been corrected from “Aira” for reasons explained in 7.1. And the opening sequence of Part 19.6 has been changed as part of this chapter’s revision.
Back to Chaos Angel Spanner table of contents...
Monday, August 27, 2012
Spanner R4 Update: Where Did I Get Some Of These Characters?
While editing Chapter 8 for the Final Revision, I got to thinking about the origin of some of my characters. Some of them are riffs on characters of other stories. Some of these riffs date all the way back to 1992, when I created the original group around Shira.
Diana Shockley: I created her as early as 1991 because I hated Appleseed's Deunan Knute when she killed Chiffon in the first graphic novel. The concept: what if Deunan were a villain?
Henry Becket: Her father was the second villain I created. He's basically the original Battlestar Galactica's villain Baltar without the smirk and with a fedora and thick glasses and the invincible delusion that he's the last actual hero in existence. When borrowing public-domain superheroes, I made him the Bronze Age version of the American Crusader from the Nedor comics.
Richard Becket: His younger-looking older brother is basically the Corporate version of Eblis, the Satan figure from the same show. He also thinks he's the good guy; since he's the story's supreme elitist, that means the masses are by definition the villain. His superhero identity is the Bronze Age Scarab — and for him I borrowed the idea of superhero lineages from The Phantom. The original Scarab was a Frenchman in Napoleonic Egypt, and the lineage has occult origins. Dick Becket is the seventh Scarab (the Golden and Silver Age originals being the fifth and sixth), and he has to fight his own successors, the eighth and ninth Scarabs. The Scarab lineage is central to the mystery of Spanner.
Drusilla Becket is the answer to the question, what if Erica Kane from the soap opera All My Children were a guru like, say, J.Z. Knight (of Ramtha fame) or Elizabeth Clare Prophet? For one thing, like them and other gurus, she made an enemy of Shira's grandmother Eleanor Richter, the children's author and witch.
Will Becket: If Diana is Deunan Knute as a villain, her younger brother is Mobile Suit Gundam's Char Aznable as an extremely ambiguous antihero. There will be hints of another antihero inspired by Char, Lelouch Lamperouge of Code Geass, especially come Book 5.
Colonel Tom Becket: I didn't get a good grip on the Dictel Corporation chairman until I saw James Cameron's Avatar. Then I realized he's basically the villain, Colonel Quaritch, as the chairman of Blackwater.
I just noticed that these are all Beckets. One of the characteristics of the Cromwell Becket clan is their stubborn resistance to change. They are more archetype than character. They claim divine origin, descent from the Norse, Celtic, and Egyptian gods. More than the other dominant clans in the Conservative Revolutionary Party, they remind people of Unseely Fae with their inhuman morality and their lack of respect for human lives.
This in contrast to my more protean heroes, and especially heroines. Shira is a chameleon. Jennifer has a whole arsenal of personae she can summon at will. Surviving Leila or Melody, even when they're not at full power, may depend entirely on what mood they swing into. The only heroic character who is genuinely archetypal is Ariel, with the striking white stripe in her black hair and her Holy Grail obsession. She's the one who puts the heroines' doings into some mythical context and puts them on heroes' journeys. She traces her own ancestry (and therefore her niece Leila's) through the female line ("bar sinister" in heraldry) to Mélusine, Morgan le Fay, and ultimately to Mary Magdalene. And of course she's a mentor character like, say, Willa Richter-Thomas, Zac Finney, or (looking to Chapter 16 R4) Dr. Hiram Whistler. Shira herself has multiple origins.
I'm not actually cloning any characters. I'm too good a writer to let myself be that lazy. But some of my own characters were inspired by characters in other works. Of course, creating them is only the first step. After that, their job is to grow away from their origins so they can help the other characters take the story away from their author and run amok.
Diana Shockley: I created her as early as 1991 because I hated Appleseed's Deunan Knute when she killed Chiffon in the first graphic novel. The concept: what if Deunan were a villain?
Henry Becket: Her father was the second villain I created. He's basically the original Battlestar Galactica's villain Baltar without the smirk and with a fedora and thick glasses and the invincible delusion that he's the last actual hero in existence. When borrowing public-domain superheroes, I made him the Bronze Age version of the American Crusader from the Nedor comics.
Richard Becket: His younger-looking older brother is basically the Corporate version of Eblis, the Satan figure from the same show. He also thinks he's the good guy; since he's the story's supreme elitist, that means the masses are by definition the villain. His superhero identity is the Bronze Age Scarab — and for him I borrowed the idea of superhero lineages from The Phantom. The original Scarab was a Frenchman in Napoleonic Egypt, and the lineage has occult origins. Dick Becket is the seventh Scarab (the Golden and Silver Age originals being the fifth and sixth), and he has to fight his own successors, the eighth and ninth Scarabs. The Scarab lineage is central to the mystery of Spanner.
Drusilla Becket is the answer to the question, what if Erica Kane from the soap opera All My Children were a guru like, say, J.Z. Knight (of Ramtha fame) or Elizabeth Clare Prophet? For one thing, like them and other gurus, she made an enemy of Shira's grandmother Eleanor Richter, the children's author and witch.
Will Becket: If Diana is Deunan Knute as a villain, her younger brother is Mobile Suit Gundam's Char Aznable as an extremely ambiguous antihero. There will be hints of another antihero inspired by Char, Lelouch Lamperouge of Code Geass, especially come Book 5.
Colonel Tom Becket: I didn't get a good grip on the Dictel Corporation chairman until I saw James Cameron's Avatar. Then I realized he's basically the villain, Colonel Quaritch, as the chairman of Blackwater.
I just noticed that these are all Beckets. One of the characteristics of the Cromwell Becket clan is their stubborn resistance to change. They are more archetype than character. They claim divine origin, descent from the Norse, Celtic, and Egyptian gods. More than the other dominant clans in the Conservative Revolutionary Party, they remind people of Unseely Fae with their inhuman morality and their lack of respect for human lives.
This in contrast to my more protean heroes, and especially heroines. Shira is a chameleon. Jennifer has a whole arsenal of personae she can summon at will. Surviving Leila or Melody, even when they're not at full power, may depend entirely on what mood they swing into. The only heroic character who is genuinely archetypal is Ariel, with the striking white stripe in her black hair and her Holy Grail obsession. She's the one who puts the heroines' doings into some mythical context and puts them on heroes' journeys. She traces her own ancestry (and therefore her niece Leila's) through the female line ("bar sinister" in heraldry) to Mélusine, Morgan le Fay, and ultimately to Mary Magdalene. And of course she's a mentor character like, say, Willa Richter-Thomas, Zac Finney, or (looking to Chapter 16 R4) Dr. Hiram Whistler. Shira herself has multiple origins.
I'm not actually cloning any characters. I'm too good a writer to let myself be that lazy. But some of my own characters were inspired by characters in other works. Of course, creating them is only the first step. After that, their job is to grow away from their origins so they can help the other characters take the story away from their author and run amok.
Spanner 7.6: Seize the Day
← ...from previous
12 september 2014.
lobby. The gauntlet of relentless advertising bullies the students by name to buy their high-priced, low-quality products and services. It gets so annoying that some students close their eyes and ears to avoid being oppressed by it, while others run or speedwalk past. Polly complains, “Can’t they put some interesting commercials on for once?”
“No,” says Shira. “They’re stupid on principle.”
Jennifer says, “Why nobody’s yet thought to hijack this bank for a piratecast yet, I have no idea.”
“Hey, Akane and I had a monfight on it, so why not.”
“You gotta wonder when they’ll put a stop to this,” says Kio.
“When SPEC screws the ad company.”
Mimi runs toward them in a panic and tugs on Shira’s sleeve. “Uh-oh, we got big trouble.”
principal’s office. Shira laughs when R.A. Leggett bursts in wearing a bandage over his right eye. She traps his arm in her armpit when he raises his gun. “That was not funny,” he growls.
“Yes it was, Mr. IP Defender. You’re so having a cow right now.”
“I am not a girl!” he screams.
Jennifer tickles his ear. He squirms. “So you’re a badass IP Defender, eh? We so didn’t know that.”
Polly, cringing behind the nervous Principal, giggles involuntarily. Leggett shrieks, “Not funny!”
His arm goes limp when Angela storms in bearing her pistol and a summons. Shira drops it.
hallway. Debbie stands in Leila’s way and glares at her with jealous fury. “You won’t get away with this treachery, Leila.”
Shira glomps her from behind and says in her ear, “Get away with what?”
Debbie twists in her embrace to see her mischievous smirk. “Leaving me for you, that’s what! You’re evil!”
“Don’t call me what you are, Debs darlin’. Her heart belongs to me now, and you can’t take away from me what’s mine. Hurt her and I’ll make everybody know you treat her like shit. C’mon, love.” She puts her arms around Leila and leaves with her.
Debbie stares at them in helpless rage. Her thoughts turn to murder. She takes out her phone and makes a call. “Hello, Frank?”
Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 7: Love Missile
Part 6: Seize the Day (Final Revision)
Part 6: Seize the Day (Final Revision)
12 september 2014.
lobby. The gauntlet of relentless advertising bullies the students by name to buy their high-priced, low-quality products and services. It gets so annoying that some students close their eyes and ears to avoid being oppressed by it, while others run or speedwalk past. Polly complains, “Can’t they put some interesting commercials on for once?”
“No,” says Shira. “They’re stupid on principle.”
Jennifer says, “Why nobody’s yet thought to hijack this bank for a piratecast yet, I have no idea.”
“Hey, Akane and I had a monfight on it, so why not.”
“You gotta wonder when they’ll put a stop to this,” says Kio.
“When SPEC screws the ad company.”
Mimi runs toward them in a panic and tugs on Shira’s sleeve. “Uh-oh, we got big trouble.”
principal’s office. Shira laughs when R.A. Leggett bursts in wearing a bandage over his right eye. She traps his arm in her armpit when he raises his gun. “That was not funny,” he growls.
“Yes it was, Mr. IP Defender. You’re so having a cow right now.”
“I am not a girl!” he screams.
Jennifer tickles his ear. He squirms. “So you’re a badass IP Defender, eh? We so didn’t know that.”
Polly, cringing behind the nervous Principal, giggles involuntarily. Leggett shrieks, “Not funny!”
His arm goes limp when Angela storms in bearing her pistol and a summons. Shira drops it.
hallway. Debbie stands in Leila’s way and glares at her with jealous fury. “You won’t get away with this treachery, Leila.”
Shira glomps her from behind and says in her ear, “Get away with what?”
Debbie twists in her embrace to see her mischievous smirk. “Leaving me for you, that’s what! You’re evil!”
“Don’t call me what you are, Debs darlin’. Her heart belongs to me now, and you can’t take away from me what’s mine. Hurt her and I’ll make everybody know you treat her like shit. C’mon, love.” She puts her arms around Leila and leaves with her.
Debbie stares at them in helpless rage. Her thoughts turn to murder. She takes out her phone and makes a call. “Hello, Frank?”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)