Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Spanner 7.1: She Shoots, She Scores

...from previous

Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 7: Love Missile
Part 1: She Shoots, She Scores (Final Revision)

There is always some madness in love.
But there is also always some reason in madness.

Friedrich Nietzsche

You drive me crazy...
Fine Young Cannibals Cadillac Escalade

6 september 2014.
Posted to LocaFantoma99’s Profile on September 6, 2014:
[Wearing: Sexy Miss America.]

I know something they don’t want you to. Did you know they have elections? The sacred Party principle is “One Dollar, One Vote.” [giggles] Of course they don’t want you taking part in their elections, silly people. Y’all just ain’t rich enough.

Here’s how it works: The candidates apply to the Party for the right to special-interest grants. The one who gets bought by the most or biggest special interest wins! That’s right: our Imperial lords and masters elect by bribe.

This is what they call Conservative Democracy.
nenene’s apartment. When the drugs wear off, Koji Mizoguchi, disgraced Yakuza in exile, feels like he’s been hit by a truck. He wakes up and reaches across the bed, but touches only bed. He gasps in shock: his precious loli-chan is gone!

He flings away the covers only to find empty space where he expects Ayla. “Ai-chan ga itta — ” He runs into the closet, only to find the box where he keeps his drugs unlocked and open. “My drugs — they gone!

Nenene says in Japanese, “What are you blithering about this time, Koji-baka?”

He answers in English, “Ai-chan — she gone!

“No remind me. She run away last week.”

She steal my drugs!

“You so baka,” says Nenene. “She flush your drugs down toilet.”

He wails with manly tears. “Ai-chan, why you leave me?”

Nenene laughs. “’Cos she no like you fuck her instead of me! Sukebe.”

“So where she go?”

“She run away Shira Thomas.”

He gasps — “Nani?!” — and faints dead away.

shira’s apartment. Shira is sitting up naked against her bed’s headboard reading a book when her bedmate rolls over to face her. Ayla. It wasn’t a dream...

Ayla throws the covers off her naked body and lays her head on Shira’s lap like a pillow, looking up, adoring and imploring. She seems to have no shame. Shira thinks she might just find herself at home here or at Red House. She strokes the girl’s hair and massages her chest. “Ai-chan...” Ayla smiles.

But then Ayla’s smile vanishes as fast as it appeared. “You ever make love to little girls?”

“What — ” Shira looks at her in surprise. But then she laughs. “When I was a little girl, yeah.”

Ayla’s eyes go wide. “Really?”

“You were Koji’s loli, right?” Ayla nods. “So how come you three are here in America?”

“Koji-kun took me away from another gang.”

“Which one?”

“Nikoniko Gumi.”

Shira gasps. Nikoniko Gumi: the infamous Smiley Gang. Yakuza klownz with a vicious reputation. “Hmmm...” She studies Ayla carefully. “Did you know I faced the Nikoniko once?”

Ayla turns over to face Shira. Her mouth is wide open. “You did?”

“Lemme guess: Koji had way too much saké, went baka, challenged a Smiley to a Game Wars fight for big yen and lost, so now he’s in debt. The Nikoniko kidnap you while I’m having my way with him. Bad move. I distract the Nikoniko, Nenene steals you back. But Koji-baka’s still in debt, so Nenene brings you two here, where the klownz don’t own his debt. Am I right?” Ayla nods. “Even if the Nikoniko come Stateside, you’re safe with me.”

The girl’s face brightens. “Really?”


She throws herself onto Shira (“oof — ”) and holds her as tight as she can. “Thank you! Thank you!” Shira puts her arms around the happy child and kisses her on the cheek. Ayla answers with a shockingly intense kiss on the lips.

Someone opens the door. Ayla tries to hide herself beneath the covers. Shira says, “Hi, mom.” Ayla timidly peeks out and finds an older beautiful woman who looks like a darker Shira, also nude, smiling at her.

“It’s bath time,” says Hope. “Would you like to join us...”

“Ayla,” Shira answers for her.

“Ayla. Please join us.”

Ayla stares up at Hope for a few seconds. “Okay,” she says timidly. She climbs out of the covers. Shira takes her by the hand and leads her to the bathroom.

The hot water and soft perfume of the bubble bath calm her. Shira and Hope rub her skin with ticklish soapy sponges. “Koji-baka.” She giggles at the idea.

“Who’s this ‘Koji-baka’?” asks Hope.

Shira smiles mischievously. “Koji Mizoguchi is a Yakuza, son of a major boss, and he’s a moron. Like most gangsters, he likes his sex nonconsensual. But after I got through with him, he’s fixated on the idea of hot babes doing him.”

Hope stares at her in shock. “Oh my gawd, Shira, you didn’t.” Ayla giggles uncontrollably.

“They say I have a way with perverted crooks. And if sukebe is a baka, he’s my bitch. On the other hand, Slice — ” Ayla gasps in terror; Shira holds her close “ — if that sick psycho comes after her... well, now I’ve got special friends who’d just love to toy with him... like a cat.”

In the living room, Mikan walks up and down the piano keyboard playing her morning music. In the dining room, Ayla eats her breakfast as if she’s never eaten human food before. Shira says, “Sure beats cat food, huh.”

“I hate cat food,” Ayla replies with food in her mouth.

Hope looks toward the living room. “So does Mikan.”

“Who’s Mikan?”

“The cat who’s playing the piano.” Hope winks.

Ayla runs over to the piano. Mikan protests. The piano playing stops.

Hope gives Shira a sad look. “I’m afraid we can’t keep her here. If you’re right, she’ll bring us unwanted attention.”

“Then let’s call Charlie and Desiree. There’s enough room at the house for one more.”

“I’m thinking Homeland Security. You know Doc Becket’s looking for any excuse to get back at us. Harboring a nonwhite alien? For him, that’s excuse enough.”

“I say we adopt her.”

“Only the Eugenics Institute’s got a lock on adoptions. Party decree.”

“Angie’ll have to open up some loopholes, then.”

“I’ll bring her to the house.” Ayla comes back with Mikan purring in her arms. Hope says to her, “You’ll have to put on something before we leave.”

Ayla’s heart drops. “Do I have to?”

Shira pats her back. “I’ve got a long T-shirt you can borrow.”


Dressed at the door, ready to leave. Hope says, “You think Dru’ll have a cow?”

Shira replies conspiratorially, “Nenene sure will.”

They leave in opposite directions.

mudlark house. Jennifer and Brandi wake up in each other’s arms, covered in dried sweat among the ruined sheets, with no memory of last night. They stare into each other’s eyes, stunned. They sit up to gaze at each other’s naked bodies. Finally, they rush together off to the shower.

Jennifer insists they shower together. She soaps up Brandi’s body like an expert and teaches Brandi to do the same to her, then holds her close and kisses her deeply.

Back in the bedroom, Brandi stands in front of Jennifer sitting on the remade bed caressing her body. “Jenni, why are you doing this?”

“You know,” says Jennifer breathlessly, “I have fallen totally, helplessly, irrevocably in love with your body. So I’m worshipping you.”

“Isn’t this just an exotic fling?”

Jennifer gently squeezes her buttocks. “Admit it, Brandi, I’m an exotic creature to you too: pale and slender, ethereal yet carnal like a heavenly angel fallen into sin out of passion for beautiful flesh. And I’m ticklish too! As long as we’re turned on to each other, let’s ride it, okay?” Gently she grasps Brandi’s breasts and kisses each hard nipple in turn. Brandi catches her breath.

Brandi sighs. “Okay.” Jennifer gives her a huge sweet smile, kneels before her, and hungrily sucks her breast, making Brandi moan in pleasure.

dictel stadium. Last night’s football season opener: Bremerton 60, Bangor 0. Shira, already in her soccer uniform, puts her arms around runningback Dexter and wide receiver Cory’s shoulders to console them as they watch the Crusaders attempt a rematch against the Knights in lacrosse. On the field, team captain Dorian tells cousin Debbie, “This is it, let’s go.” They high-ten. Under the stands, one of the Dictel Security guards places the final bomb.

First attempt: Dorian passes the ball to Debbie. She’s got a seemingly easy shot. She hurls it hard like a fastball pitcher — but the goalie catches it.

Second attempt: Bangor intercept the ball and throw a series of passes around and through the Bremerton defenders till Debbie reaches perfect position and scores — no, the goalie catches it.

Third attempt: Debbie flings herself to throw the impossible shot through a horde of defenders — but the goalie catches it.

Final score: Bremerton 2, Bangor 0. Debbie walks off the field dejectedly. Dorian puts her arm around her. They walk together back to the locker room.

Under the stands, the guard is about to press the detonator when suddenly his arm yanks out of his socket and then bends the wrong way. Jennifer rips the detonator out of his hands along with his fingers. Brandi runs back from the gift shop [“We’ll pay, this is urgent”] with a T-shirt, a scarf, and a baseball. First she jams the baseball into the raving killer’s mouth; then she rolls the scarf up and gags him with it [“That’ll shut you the fuck up”]; finally, they wrestle him to the floor, tear out his remaining fingers, and hogtie him with the T-shirt. They make like they’re about to high-five, but throw themselves into each other’s arms and kiss instead. When the clerk sees them and their captured target, he says gleefully, “Oh no, this is on us.”

Rematch #2 in soccer. Forward Shira and goalie Brandi take their turn against a team notorious for diving Spanish-style. First half: Bremerton players dive three times, draw three penalties (one against Shira), attempt three kicks. Brandi saves two of them, but one gets past. Bremerton 1, Bangor 0.

Shira interrupts Elsie’s halftime pep talk. “Stop stop stop! The problem is they’re having too much success diving. They wanna dive, I’ll show ’em how it’s done.” Meanwhile, the mere sight of Will Becket, interrupted from watching his nieces play, causes the tied-up terrorist to scream in terror, piss and shit his pants, and babble everything he knows.

Second half: Shira fakes being illegally tackled, writhing and screaming in mock pain to draw the penalty. The Bremerton players look on in shock. She bends the penalty kick over the goalie. Second dive, second penalty: she feints right, kicks left, scores. Third dive: Bremerton’s top scorer gets red-carded, their coach screams at the ref and gets ejected; Shira kicks right, the ball bends left. Final score: Bangor 3, Bremerton 1.

Debbie intercepts Shira as she leaves the locker room in civilian clothes. “I got the aim, but how come you score all the goals?”

“You gotta play mind games with the goalie. Think of it as a duel. There’s no way she’s letting you get the ball past her. You gotta get that ball into the goal at all costs. Only one of you can win.” She shakes Debbie’s shoulders. “You better make damn sure it’s you.”

Debbie slaps her forehead. “Oh. I never thought of it that way...”

mudlark house. In the living room Brandi stares at the video playing on the big screen, full of beauties with big hair and no clothes working out furiously to a hopelessly retro hair-metal soundtrack, led by a familiar-looking blonde Rocker who feels up the women and chains up the men. “That one’s from 1989,” the same woman’s voice says beside her. Brandi turns to find Willa Richter-Thomas herself standing right in front of her, as beautiful as she was twenty-five years ago, with Jennifer in her arms, looking very much in love with each other.

“This is Brandi from school,” Jennifer says.

Brandi holds out her hand. “Brandi Quinn.”

Willa shakes it. “Pleased to meet you. You already know who I am.”

“Aren’t you two married?”

“We have an open marriage. I have other lovers myself, and I don’t get jealous.”

“I hope you’re right.” Brandi looks at the television. “You weren’t a fading starlet then, so why this?”

“I knew I could get away with it, so I did.” Willa winks. “You know, I knew the horror-movie scream queen Linnea Quigley who once wore a spiked leather bikini for her own horror workout video. She didn’t mind getting chainsawed on camera, but she knew if she got in one of my workout videos, I’d never be able to keep my hands off her. I scare her.” The girls laugh. She puts her hand on Brandi’s shoulder and studies her body carefully. “You have an incredible body, Brandi. No wonder she’s in love with you.”

“I hope she turns out like you.” The footballer and the triathlete gaze at each other’s bodies with great pleasure.

Jennifer pulls Brandi into a tight embrace and gives her a long passionate kiss. Willa watches them and smiles.

funeral home. Erika Ejimoto admires the work of art lying naked on the slab before her. Mark Bernkastel was a ruin before the embalmer performed his magic; now he lies before her more beautiful to her in death than he ever was in life. She would pleasure herself right now if his tiny penis didn’t make her giggle every time she sees it. Besides, she has other plans for him.

“Koibito-sama!” a girlish voice breathes behind her.

She spins around to face her. “Saya-chan!”

Saya Saionji styles Sexy Loli. She and Erika became inseparable friends when they were children in a small Japanese mountain village. They were among the very few survivors of the still-classified biowarfare experiment that spawned Biotron and Genom out of the liaison of Dictel and DuPont while taking out the Sonoda mob for the rival Mizoguchi with their US military connections dating back to the Occupation. Each married one of the US Army personnel involved. Both are now dead. Killed by their love. Now Saya and her koibito-sama are free, together at last, ready to bring down her brother and the Yakuza hierarchy. Together they shall rule as Japan’s queens of crime and end those Chink dogs.

Erika stares at her besuto furendo. Saya regularly changes her hair at whim. Earlier today it was fluorescent pink; now it is rainbow-colored to celebrate Bernkastel’s death. At her age, she looks like a child whore with progeria. The creepiness is deliberate: uncanny valley is her weapon. Erika loves her just the way she is.

“Rettsu fakku,” says Saya.

The koibito throw themselves into each other’s arms, kiss brutally, rend each other’s clothes and fling them away in shreds, kiss and claw up and down each other’s slim bodies. Giggling deliriously, Erika climbs on the slab and lies atop her dead ex like a sacrifice on the devil’s altar; Saya flings herself on top of her; the aging hellmaidens suck each other like hungry vampires feeding, burning for each other, burning with thrill of transgression, their pleasure increasingly violent, till in loss of reason they believe they can raise Hell to Earth by themselves—

on to the next...

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Copyright © 2012 Dennis Jernberg. Some rights reserved.
Creative Commons License

[Revision 4 Final, 8/22/12: Mostly new material. The Shira/Ayla/Hope scene, called "Pretty Baby" (the former name for this section), has been expanded.]

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