Spanner 7.3: Through Being Cool

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Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 7: Love Missile
Part 3: Through Being Cool (Final Revision)

26 august 2014...
Todd Palin threatens to sue his now ex-wife. All the sleazy celebrity magazines in America and the even sleazier tabloids in Britain and Japan bid for his tell-all exposé.

8 september 2014.
red house. Ayla clings to Hope. “Do I have to?”

Hope kisses her on the forehead. “You’ll be safe here. Charlie and Desi will fall in love with you the moment they see you.”

“I hope so.”

Charlie and Desiree come out onto the porch and wave. Desiree says, “You must be Ayla”

“Wow,” says Charlie, “that’s beautiful dress you’re wearing.”

Ayla blushes. “Thank you.”

“We’re Shira’s sisters. I’m Charlie, and she’s Desiree.”

She shyly waves. “Hi.” Charlie takes her by the hand and leads her up the stairs to the porch, where Desiree takes her other hand.

Melody, dressed in her middle-school uniform, stands in the doorway and stares at Ayla. Charlie says, “Mel, this is Shira’s friend Ayla.”

“Hi,” says Melody weakly.

“And this is our daughter Melody.”

Ayla bows and cheerfully says, “Nice to meet you!”

They look at Melody and see a shy smile on her face. Ayla skips over to her, gives her a huge sweet smile, and hugs her. Melody blushes and helplessly grins. They wave at Hope, then go in the house together.

seabeck highway. The van picks Jennifer up at Mudlark House; she wastes no time leaping into Brandi’s arms and kissing her wildly. They kiss halfway up Bangor’s diagonal main street before the black man in shades driving speaks up. “I never expected you two to fall in love,” says John Peck

“Jenni knew I was lesbian,” Brandi says. “She’s been seducing me the whole time.”

Jennifer kisses her. “I wanted her the moment I saw her.” She winks.

Peck looks at them in the rear view mirror. “Your capture of the Caliphate agent was expert. You have convinced us.”

“Will you join us, love?” asks Brandi.

“Hell yeah I’m in,” Jennifer replies. “By the way, there’s someone I’d like to recruit.”

Brandi looks at her curiously. “Hmmm?”

Prck asks, “Who would that be?”

“Shira Thomas. My cousin. She’s a Tracker. She’s fought Oliver Thorwald multiple times and never, ever lost.”

“That’s impressive!” says Brandi.

“That’s complicated,” says Peck. “Does she realize he’s arranged to be married to Leila Shelley?”

Jennifer replies, “She’s in love with her.”

“Hmmm.” Brandi stares at her; Peck strokes his chin. “Brandi, could you scout her for me? She looks very interesting.”

Brandi answers, “Anybody who owns Oliver Thorwald is all right with me.”

Jennifer smiles. “Thanks!” Peck drives into the Bangor High campus to drop them off.

lockers. Mimi asks Shira and Jennifer, “Wow, you beat all those gangsters and priests naked. What’s your secret?”

Shira winks mischievously. “Fanservice as a deadly weapon.”

Jennifer explains, “It’s a well-known fact that most men and some women have a weakness for pretty girls, especially naked. We fight naked not just because sweaty bodies are harder to hold onto, but because we distract opponents, making ’em that much easier to beat.”

Mimi suddenly turns toward a conversation behind her. “Shhh!” Debbie is telling Leila, “Stay away from that Shira. She’s no good. She’s trouble incarnate. She only wants you — ” She spots Shira. “Uh-oh.” She storms up to her and gets in her face. “You stay away from my Special Friend, you slut!”

Shira is amused but pretends to be offended. “I thought Leila was in love with trouble.” Leila blushes.

“Well, I’m trying to keep her out of trouble!”

Shira gives an amused glance to Jennifer.

nike arena. The rematch. Debbie charges Shira, ready to punch — but Shira leaps over her in a flying somersault, catches her on the way down, and rolls her into a pin. Debbie tries to escape, but one, two, three. Shira stands up and blows kisses; Debbie punches and stomps the mat in frustration. Shira 2, Debbie 0.

homeroom. Debbie, Kelly, Christina, Scotty, and two of his Junior Patriot friends riot when art teacher Ada Paulette Wintergreen enters, throwing chairs and classmates’ textbooks. Scotty climbs up on the desk and yells, “We didn’t come here for liberal fakes to book-learn us, we came here to improve our faith!”

Jennifer starts the mocking chant, “Madrassa! Madrassa!” The tutors and Team Bremelo fighters pick it up and throw it at the rioters. Ada escapes before the two groups start fighting, and the rest of the class flee along with her.

period 1. Shira, Jennifer, Leila, Polly, and Mimi walk down the hallway away from class. Polly throws out her arms. “I can’t believe he kicked us out of class!”

Leila says grimly, “I can’t believe he’s still childishly fixated on calling me ‘Leela.’”

“That isn’t a class, it’s a Revival!”

Lady storms up behind them. “Y’all would do anything to disrupt our precious faith.”

Everybody stares at her. Jennifer crosses her arms. “If your faith is so perfect, Lady, do we even need schools at all?”

Shira throws a mischievous glance at Polly, then pulls Mimi into a tight hug and plants a huge kiss on her cheek, making her blush and squeak. Lady sighs and faints.

Jennifer catches her and cries out with a mischievous grin, “She has fallen into the apples!” The students around her look at her as if she’s crazy. “Polly?”

Polly lets out a big sigh. “Elle est tombée dans les pommes.”

“Meaning?”

“Elle s’est évanouie.”

Mimi asks innocently, “Uh, what’s that mean?”

Polly snaps back: “‘She fainted’!” Shira hugs her; she collapses into her body with a sigh.

period 3. Shira and Jennifer decide to speak only French in Mrs Turnipseed’s class just to bug her. “Pourquoi?” asks Polly.

“Elle ne parle pas anglais,” replies Shira with a wink.

Leila decides to add some dirty French of her own, making Shira and Jennifer laugh helplessly and trade French obscenities of their own. Their argot puzzles the few other students who actually know some French. Debbie, known hater of Romance languages, storms out in a huff. Mrs Turnipseed angrily kicks Shira, Jennifer, and Leila out of the class.

Leila slaps her forehead. “What’s got into us?”

“Debbie deserved it.” Shira gives her a quick kiss on the lips. “’Scuse me everybody, please stick around while I go mess with the nurse’s head.”

school clinic. As soon as Shira sits down, the smiling nurse shows her some packages of Ritalin and says, “It looks like the pharmaceutical company’s sent us a bunch of extras yet again. Could you, like, take ’em off our hands? You can always jew me down if you like.” She winks.

Annoyed, Shira sighs. “You should know, I’ve got so much adrenaline in my system, I don’t need that kind of stuff. So I’d probably sell it for a big markup on the black market. But I could make an even bigger profit by turning you in to the authorities for a hefty bounty.” She leans toward the nurse seductively. “However, if you sleep with me, I won’t say a word.” She grins.

The nurse’s eyes open wide in shock. She strains to smile. “What if I tell the Principal you’re sexually harrassing me?”

“Then I’ll tell the police you’re dealing drugs.” Shira winks.

The smile disappears. “Oh,” the nurse says weakly.

library. Shira and Jennifer sit on either side of Leila, arms around her, resting their heads on her shoulders, silently comforting her. Debbie’s friends studiously ignore them.

Nancy sneaks over and gently taps Shira on the shoulder. Shira looks at her curiously. Nancy whispers, “Have you heard about the ’Shovel Clique’?”

Shira looks at her strangely. “Shovel?” Leila gasps. The other girls stare at her; she blushes. “So what about this ‘Shovel Clique’?”

Jennifer asks, “As in ‘Travelling Shovel of Death’?”

Nancy nods. “There’s this Slasher with a shovel, and he’s got groupies. Rich kids.” A conspiratorial grin grows on her face. “I think he’s Debbie’s brother Frank.”

Shira shakes her head. “Oliver Thorwald.”

“You know him?”

“He’s tried to kill me with that shovel. He thinks he’s all that. I own him.” Leila shakes her head violently. “Tell me, Leila. Is she right?” Leila fights back tears. She nods. Shira looks at Jennifer. “I think we already know who they are.”

Jennifer says, “And why Debbie’s so keen on being her Special Friend.”

Just outside the door, Debbie threatens Christina. “You won’t touch her if you value your life.”

Tina sneers, “You think you’re the shit ’cuz you’re Frankie’s baby sister.”

Debbie slams her against the door and chokes her one-handed. Jennifer says, “Like I said.”

classroom. The one ’shipping club Shira and Jennifer are comfortable around meets secretly in one of the empty classrooms. This is the one that ’ships pretty boys. They call themselves the Fujoshi Club, one of many across the Empire. This meeting’s subject: Connor Blair and Rob Shelley.

“I wish they were in love,” says Polly.

“They make such a perfect couple,"says Ruthie.

“They’re so beautiful together,” says Trishie

“They belong together,” says Nancy.

The four girls sigh in unison.

Shira grins mischievously. “I know!

Jennifer clasps her hands. “I know they love each other. I swear I’ll do whatever it takes to bring ’em together as a couple. I want us all to be at their wedding.”

Fiona gasps. “Really?”

“Mm-hmm!” Jennifer nods enthusiastically.

“Let’s do it!” declares Shira. The girls form a group hug and dance together, cheering and girlish squeeing.

period 6. As Shira takes off her gym clothes in the locker room, Charmian yells, “Stop that!” All the girls interrupt what they’re doing to stare at them.

Shira doesn’t stop. “Stop what?”

“Don’t you have any sense of decency?”

“Whatever that means.” Shira stands before her completely naked. “I say you’re chicken.” Charmian gasps. “If you can’t handle taking your clothes off in front of other girls who are taking theirs off, then you’re a coward and that brave face you put on is a lie.”

Charmian stares at her in shock. Then she narrows her eyes. “Very well.” The other girls look on in shocked fascination as she removes all her clothes and puts them down next to Shira’s. Now completely nude, she puts her hands on her hips and faces Shira. “Satisfied now?”

Shira smiles. “Yes. Let’s go.” Charmian walks stoically beside Shira to the showers. Shira takes her usual stall; Charmian takes the one next to her. They turn the water on and start soaping themselves.

Charmian indignantly asks, “Are you going to be looking at me?”

“Why not? You’re beautiful, and you can look at me all you want.” Shira winks. Charmian blushes, but remains silent.

hallway. After school, Charmian, Kelly, Christie, and Debbie get in Jennifer’s way in a vain attempt to keep her away from the science department. Charmian glares at her angrily like an offended church lady. Jennifer crosses her arms and smiles back contemptuously. “What’s the bug eating at your guts now, Charmian?”

Charmian glowers back. “As if exposing your shame weren’t enough, we hear you’re openly denying God. Is this correct?”

“There’s no proof of his existence.”

Charmian raises her voice. “Do you not know it’s against the Law?!”

Jennifer rolls her eyes and sighs. “There are factions of the Party that want to ban science altogether.” She takes off her glasses slowly and stares into Charmian’s eyes. “No science means no future for your country.”

Debbie angrily yells, “That’s a bunch of guff!”

“That’s tough. Put a moratorium on brains, and you throw America into the trash can of history, just like that other communism.” She shoves her way through and leaves.

lecture room. Ciera Walker, a devoutly Christian black student, yells, “Science is racist!”

Jennifer patiently counters, “Science says race does not exist.” Ciera gasps. “It’s all superficial adaptations to environmental conditions. You’re adapted to the African sun and need extra vitamin D at high latitudes. I’m adapted to the Scandinavian tundra and need sunscreen in the tropics. Racism says this group is better that one by definition. Truth is, beneath the surface, we’re all the same.”

Brandi hugs Jennifer and says to Ciera, “She’s right!” She kisses her cheek. Ciera hastens away in confusion.

Akane says in despair, “You’ll never convince my mother.” He holds his head in his hands. “That crazy woman.”

“What did she do this time?” asks Jennifer.

“Gloat about having a threesome with her best friend and her dead ex.”

Everybody stares at him. Jennifer blushes in embarrassment. “Uh, your mother is strange.”

Sana says, “From what Shira tells me, they always were nuts.” She flirtatiously leans against Akane; he blushes. “You know, there’s a point in every girl’s life when she has to face the fact that she’s going to die. When a girl reaches puberty, it feels like she’s bleeding to death. She has one of three reactions: accept her mortality, evades the truth through religion, or abandon reality altogether.”

“Oh wow,” says Akane. Harumi takes his hand and leads him back to her seat.

Jennifer walks to the desk and leans against it. “Anyway... The whole System wants us to think we’re special. Racists think their race makes them special. We have to learn that we’re not really special at all. We really are the same.”

Steve asks, “Does that have anything to do with what you said naked the other day?”

Jennifer winks at him. “Damn right!” She smiles at Leila. “I said, one, my body is me, two, I won’t live forever, and three, one life is all I get.” Her smile disappears. “I don’t believe in ghosts. To me, God’s just another ghost. All we have is our own lives, and each other. We can’t afford delusions of superiority just because the God who doesn’t exist decrees that our religion, race, gender, family, nationality, or sexual orientation is superior by definition. Life these days is tough as it is. All we’ve got is this life, the present moment, and each other. Most people just don’t see it.”

Sana asks, “And that means it’s okay to fall in love with somebody of the same sex and a different race?”

Jennifer smiles, then nods. “Mm-hmm! Radical, ain’t it.”

classroom office. The magazines and coffee-table books, chaotically strewn on the couch. Brandi and Jennifer passionately kissing on the coffee table. The kiss ends, they pant more from excitement than exertion, they stare deeply into each other’s eyes. Jennifer says, “I love your lips. They were made to be kissed.”

“You’re so strange. You fascinate me.”

“I love you.” Jennifer smiles. “Let’s kiss with our other lips.”

“Huh?”

“The true lesbian kiss. Stand up and I’ll show you.” She helps Brandi stands up and puts her left leg around her. “Now lift your leg...” Brandi half-kneels on the table. “There. Now press your cunt against mine.” She grasps Brandi’s big strong buttocks and guides her pelvis. When their clits touch, they both catch their breaths. “Yes!”

Brandi smiles. “Is this your master class?”

Jennifer cheerfully nods and grins. “In the tribadic method. Now rub your clit against mine.” Brandi does so. “Yes! You’re doing great already.” They moan and wail in growing ecstasy. Jennifer moves her hands up to Brandi’s breasts. They pump against each other with growing frenzy. “Ah, beautiful!” Their minds give way, their ecstasy builds to a screaming climax.

Brandi collapses on top of her. They take a moment to catch their breath. Brandi asks, “When do I get my next lesson?”

“Whenever you want.” They hold each other tight and kiss violently.

Amanda: Breaking news! Albert Pernell, latest husband of Chief Shepherd Drusilla Becket, found dead of alcohol poisoning!

Drusilla: (crying copious crocodile tears) I loved him so. He was so generous to leave everything to the service of our church. But I shall soon find solace in the eternal arms of Our Lord Jesus America.

Amanda: The elderly billionaire recently changed his will to make the Chief Shepherd his sole heir at about the same time she put out a life insurance policy for fifty million dollars...

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Copyright © 2012 Dennis Jernberg. Some rights reserved.

[Revision 4 Final, 8/24/12: Scenes assembled from Chapters 6-9 Revision 3 and mixed with new scenes.]