Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 21: High School Banned
Part 3: Man Rage vs. Nudefight Girls (Final Revision)
Part 3: Man Rage vs. Nudefight Girls (Final Revision)
27 october 2014.
shira’s apartment. Hope has turned her office into a makeshift election central, with middle daughter Selene Carpenter back from Seattle to man the laptop. She gives the twins and the nameless girl the tour. She sweeps her arm panoramically and says, “Voilà! Our new command center.”
Kira asks, “Uh, Mom, isn’t that just another ‘Single Point of Vulnerability’?”
“Not the way we’ve designed it. It’s one node, not the node. Basically we connect with other nodes, and then we connect ’em.”
The girl frowns. “Won’t this just attract Watergate-type burglars bent on dirty tricks?”
“Actually, that’s why you’re here.” Hope winks.
“I thought I was here ’cos I’m insanely in love with your daughter.”
Selene peers at Shira and the nameless girl skeptically. “I heard you had a girlfriend, Shira, but I didn’t know you two were so shamelessly open about it.”
Shira winks. “C’mon, big sis, you know that’s how I roll.”
“Anyway, if you know the Cockroach Twins, they’re doing the security on the Darknet side while El Kabong and Evil The Cat get gung-ho with the Chinese censorbots. If anybody wants this election even less than the Party or CPMC, it’s Chinese Corporatist Party (Holdings) Limited.”
A chorus of annoyed teenage sighs answers her. “So how we gonna sneak the vote by the censorbots?”
“All by phone. Alex and Nick already set up the vote system on the Darknet. Open source, of course, unlike those hopelessly rigged proprietary Diebold election-rigging machines the Party’s so infatuated with. Deth Pussy contributed the Phreaks’ foolproof system for detecting Diebold hacks, ’cuz we’re all expecting all the Mobs’ botnets to pull some doozies. Its packet filters also work on DDoSes. We expect Echelon to pull its biggest one since the Infowar. I think it’s jealous.”
“Insanely paranoid’s more like it, considering who’s running it. This is Saudi America, remember.”
Selene rolls her eyes and groans. “Tell me about it.”
The girl asks, “Are they planning on bringing out the dead vote? I know how fond of it the Governor is.”
“We’re forgetting the big question,” says Kira.
“Like what?” asks Hope.
“There’s CPMC and None Of The Above,” Selene replies, “with CCP cheating to try and steal it. The big money’s on CPMC of course, but my bet’s on NOTA.”
Shira snaps her fingers. “That’s it! I’m gonna put real money on NOTA. The Man don’t know just what kind of deep doo-doo they’re facing.”
“What exactly don’t they know?” the nameless girl asks.
“NOTA means a no-confidence vote against the entire System. ‘Sanction of the victim’ withdrawn.”
“They’ll only punish the puny humans even more sadistically than they already do.”
“Foreign occupation, remember? The Man’s no more from here than they’re from Ireland.” Recognition dawns on the girl’s face.
“Russian zombies trying to spam dead people votes already,” Selene alerts. “Running iOS.”
“Ah, so the Russkies are at it already.” Shira grins. “Apple traitorware does have its uses.” She winks.
bus. Shira gets off the #26 at the Bremerton ferry terminal with the Shelley twins to meet Jennifer and Connor. Charmian and Julian get off the #21 from East Bremerton with Courtney and Schuyler. They board the #11W going west through Bangor to the Seabeck ferry. Shira slips into the seat behind the back door; Jennifer stares Charmian down to try to keep her out, but Shira says, “I love you, Jen, but this time let her. She needs this.” Jennifer retreats with a sigh to sit between Courtney and Schuyler, Julian sitting between the Shelley twins across from them, their arms around her shoulders. Heedless and defiant, as soon as the bus leaves Shira and Charmian share a long gentle kiss they intend to make last all the way to the Bangor High stop. Julian looks on jealously, but the nameless girl holds her and kisses her on the cheek, and she gives up her jealousy with a sigh. Other passengers blush in embarrassment; a few Party loyalists mutter a plot for revenge.
Hurtling down Eleventh Street, halfway to the West Bremerton terminal at Bay Vista Lanes, a mortally offended Caliphate agent stands up, screams in Arabic, and tries to blow up the bus. Eight terrifying death glares target him; he dies screaming. The driver throws the corpse off the bus to cheers. But the sight of it reminds Charmian of the mother she lost and the father she was forced to kill, grief and desolation flood in, and she starts to cry. Shira holds her tight and kisses her for the rest of the trip. Fearing the suicider’s fate, the Party agents fall silent. The girl watches on with pleasure as her lover and their former enemy openly share their love.
Up Kitsap Way, Northlake Way, the Seabeck Highway to the center of Bangor — but halfway between the Dictel Park stop and Eightieth Street, they find themselves stuck in a traffic jam, drivers angrily honking until their cars get attacked by rioters. Shira and Charmian stop kissing. Jennifer lowers her glasses. Charmian asks, “What in the world is going on?”
Shira watches the scene narrow-eyed. “Gangs going berserk again?”
“Gangs joining in’s more like it,” says Jennifer.
“They aren’t avenging the Badd Boyzz. They’re avenging Team Valiant. The ‘Manniacs’ are rioting against the tyranny of female freedom again.”
Passengers look at her strangely. A few betray their dissatisfaction with the Revolution by letting out a fugitive sigh. Charmian asks, “Shouldn’t that be ‘maniacs’?”
“Uh-uh. ‘Manniacs.’ Men’s Rights extremists. Exactly like ‘FemiNazis,’ only male. Bangor High is under assault from the Men’s Rights terrorists of CUNT.”
“So the bloody cunts are out to wreak Manly revenge against Team Bremelo, eh?” says the nameless girl. “I’ll bet [air quotes] ‘mondo velveeta’ Ross is behind this.”
Shira takes out her phone. “I’ll go call him.”
With breathtaking speed, armoured strike agents swarm the campus, firing tear gas and sound cannons at the CUNT militants and the Dictel Park gangsters who joined them strictly for the pleasure of property damage. But Chief Mobley’s support for the riot has already backfired: several CUNT-planted bombs go off; Dictel Stadium and the still-damaged Nike Arena are quickly engulfed in flame.Ross: I’m not taking calls—Shira: Yes you are, boss. Right now a major Party faction is burning down your property.
Ross: John, there’s a riot destroying Bangor High as we speak.Jack: What? That’s ludicrous!Ross: Why aren’t you suppressing it?
Chief Mobley: (giggling maniacally) Gyuh gyuh gyuh gyuh...Jack: Mobley!
Mobley: (startled to attention) Yes, Chief!Jack: Are you aware you’re destroying my family’s legacy?Mobley: Eek! (salutes) I’m on the case, sir!
CUNT co-dictator Ted Nugent receives a call from COPCO Seattle. He laughs maniacally. They glare silently. Their frowns turn to smiles just before they make way for Marshall Brinkman, armed with subpoena: “Sorry, Nuge.” Shepherd Nugent stops laughing.
The networks show Dictel Stadium and the Nike Arena spectacularly burning and surrounded by firefighters attacking the flames:
Amanda: Bangor High in suburban Seattle is in flames! The Citizens United to Nullify Treason are believed responsible. The Seattle Public Education Corporation, which owns the school, has announced it will file vandalism charges and demand millions in damages.coffee shop. Jennifer storms alone into the Beit al-Qahwah. Saida comes over to greet her happily, but Jennifer grabs her by the scarf, slams her against the wall, and hisses, “That riot out there? That was Islam!”
Saida tries to protest. “Jenni, no—”
Jennifer slaps her twice. “You wanted to know what Islam is? It’s man rage! It’s concerned only with the Radical Manhood of God and his Chosen Race! The only difference between Islam and Americanism is the identity of the Chosen Race and the End Times Messiah!” She drops Saida and leaps on a table. “Listen! You can’t wage people’s revolution if you still bow to the King of Heaven! Tyrants have been his chosen men since he first brought kingship down from Heaven to Egypt! If you wanna free the people from dictatorship, overthrow the dictatorship of Heaven over your souls! Liberate your minds, or your revolution’s impossible!”
The exiles stare silently at her. Knowing better than to Challenge the terrifying Blonde Phantom, they back away. Jennifer leaves for the bus stop. Saida begins to cry; a crowd gathers to comfort her.
28 october 2014.Willa: Can’t the old turd squirm already?Jennifer: Why’s Old Shithead having his gang riot against me and my team? It’s obvious he’s scared shitless.Alex: Aw, poop. (laughs helplessly, throws herself onto the couch as Connor’s camera follows)
shira’s apartment. Shira and Kira’s nameless blond niece stays over for the night and sleeps with Aunt Kira in the spare bedroom. In the morning she watches with fascination as Shira and her black-haired girl make love with such fury. Hope asks, “Do you watch your mothers do this at home?”
The girl replies with a smile, “As much as I can.” She winks; Hope rolls her eyes, turns away, and shoots a hard look at Kira to stop her laughing.
Ayla joins them for their daily exercises and marvels at how zealous about it is this nameless younger girl who insistently flirts with her, how unlike the others she moans with undisguised pleasure luxuriating in her stretches, how eagerly she grins when she, the twins, and the girl with the violet eyes open the door to leave wearing only boots, berets, and body jewelry—
Hope tries to stop them. “Whoa, girls, what do y’all think you’re doing?”
The black-haired girl says, “You forget we have the superpowers we need to get away with it.” She ushers the twins and the giggling blond girl out the door and with a wink closes it behind her.
bus. No one expected the nudefighters of Team Bremelo to get on the bus actually nude, but there they are: team leader Shira and her long-lost twin sister, tall blond cousins Jennifer and Connor, the black-haired girl with no name and her equally pretty twin brother and redheaded sister, the young blond niece with no name and her redheaded big sister, and Cory and Polly who didn’t take part in the Team Challenge. The cop who tries to arrest them and the Caliphate agent who tries to blow them up get a taste of Melody’s electricity; when the suicider stops twitching and gets up in redoubled rage of defiled Manhood, she giggles and zaps him again and again. The passengers let themselves laugh.
school entrance. They find Kio, Colette, and Daisy arguing with the guards refusing to let them in. They move in, move them behind their line, and let the guards see them nude; if their faces weren’t hidden by helmets, anyone could see their jaws drop. Team leader Shira addresses the guards with a sweet smile that promises litigation: “What do you mean we’re fired? We’re your Tournament Champions, the face of this school. Are you really that keen on being the subject of media and court attention? We’re going in.” The confused guards stand by helplessly as the nudefighters and their friends stride in.
s.p.e.c. headquarters. Ross and Litton watch the scene on security video. Litton says, “I thought you fired ’em, Pete.”
Ross gestures toward the monitor. “I did, and their response is to taunt us with utter shamelessness. Now do you see the problem?”
“So you want me to use my Syndicate connections?”
Litton picks up his phone. “Consider it done.”
principal’s office. With defiant stares and ironic smiles, nine nude girls face down six shocked, offended, and helpless principals. From the principals’ right: Daisy, Melody, Kira, the girl with the violet eyes, Shira, Brandi, Jennifer, the little nameless cousin who looks like her without glasses and clings to her from the side, and Polly. Falconer has returned to her place, her face as red with rage as ever. Shira says, mock-shocked, “Why, Major, what a surprise to see you after your latest Manhood failure burned down the stadium yesterday. How wonderful to know you’re staying unfired too.”
Coach Mobley growls through a malicious grin, “I see y’all’re looking to get raped.”
“So says the cheerleader-spanking coach. Too bad I stole your paddle to use on my girlfriend.”
Spiekerman barks, “The Law will not tolerate such shameless depravity!”
“I’m afraid the Law’s in a bad way right now, no thanks to your Corporate friends pissing on it in such a shamelessly depraved fashion. Isn’t that why we’re unfired, Honey Bunny?”
Falconer stands up, points, and shrieks, “You shut up!”
Suddenly: explosion at the entrance. The violet-eyed girl rolls her eyes. “Here we go again...”
school lobby. Three New African mobsters from the Subdivisions, their leader a huge, dreadlocked, and brutal Jamaican Kira tangled with once. He is not happy to see two of her mocking him with that look, one in the arms of the bespectacled blond slayer of fifty-two Slashers and the other in the arms of a hard-bodied Elizabeth Taylor look-alike with a Bettie Page do who claims to have no name, all so shamelessly nude, their love for each other a bitch-slap in the face of his Manhood. Shira looks to her sister. “What’s his name again?”
“Billy Bates,” Kira replies. “Killed for Jim Brown and then killed him.”
“Rebel Styles!” says Billy Bates in his most murderous gravelly warrior growl, “you rapin’ holy Manhood again! You t’ink you two, but soon you be none!”
“And now we’re three.” Kira points to the adscreens. A giant version of the infamous killer video loli has taken over the monitors like a kaleidoscope funhouse reflection in a giant broken mirror. Bates’ men flail in fear.
“You evil voodoo magic no work on me Manhood, Styles! Me keell you now!”
The kaleidoscope face of Rebel Styles suddenly turns into an evil-hag face and rushes the monitor screens like a speeding giant. Bates’ men scream in terror. He slaps them, turns to face the twins, and finds them gone. The Niggers chase them into the school building.
hallway. The naked nudefighters running down the hall catch student attention. Kira says, “Remember, model, gangsters are as superstitious as they are racist.” They hear students screaming as they flee the AK-armed gangsters pursuing them.
The Niggers find their foes standing near the spot of their lockers. The twins step forward, raise huge kitchen knives, shake rattles. The gangsters step back in fear. The twins perform a wild voodoo dance, waving their knives, shaking their rattles and breasts, chanting in some unknown African language — the evil hag face appears in holographic projection above them, glares at them with evil eyes, then suddenly attacks banshee-screaming, making the superstitious killers scream — the head turns into the rotting organic Team Bremelo logo, queasily undulating — Shira and Kira thrust the knives forward in uinson to cut off two screaming killers’ weapons through their baggypants; they fall to the ground, twitching and screaming, dying of haunting fear. Bates flees with a bad case of koro requiring priestly attention, yelling “Styles! I gon’ keell you! You steell gon’ die!”
Terrified students trickle back into the halls to cheer the nudefighters in relief.
Amanda: This just in! Naked fighting girls kill New African terrorists with evil voodoo magic! Which is worse?bremerton boardwalk. The girl with the violet eyes leans against the railing at the exact spot where Shira once rescued her from suicide. The cool autumn wind feels so good against her bare skin. Shira walks up to her with one hand behind her back. She turns; with a smile, Shira gives her a beautiful red rose. She takes the rose and throws herself into the dark girl’s arms. “Oh my god why didn’t you do this before? I love you so much!” They kiss with all the passion their bodies can contain.
A middle-aged Low Corporate in his most expensive business suit watches the nude girls’ passion and decides to confront the sinners. “Stop it!” he screams. “You’re raping the true divine purpose of love! God created it for the creation of babies, not to indulge in wicked depravity!”
Shira grabs his tie, chokes him, forces him to step back slowly. “Really? You don’t need love to produce eugenically correct Corporate heirs when duty will do just fine. If you knew love, you’d hate it like the Devil. Love makes you do crazy shit like killing your spouses, kidnapping pretty girls for ransom, eloping on the run from the cops, and committing double suicide. Love makes you fall in love with someone of the same gender, different race, different company, different species. Shouldn’t love be illegal? There oughta be a law!”
She lets go of the tie. The Corporate flees this crazy naked woman and her lesbian lover. The girl returns to her; they resume their kiss. Cheers around them reveal a small gathered crowd of admirers. Being more politically correct and not wanting to get into trouble with these two girls or the Law, sailors and Low Corporates veer wide of them.
on to the next... →
Back to Chapter 21 index...
Back to Chaos Angel Spanner table of contents...
Copyright © 2013 Dennis Jernberg. Some rights reserved.
[Revision 4.0, 3/30/13: Opening scene revised for Final Revision continuity; everything else is new. Original title: “The Descent from On High” (the title scene is now “Return to the Secret Office” in 21.5).]
[Revision 4.0.1, 4/1/13: Corrected one characterization error.]
[Revision 4.1, 4/19/13: Added one scene after the “man-rage riot,” written today after the killing and capture of the Al-Qaeda bombers of this year’s Boston Marathon, in which the Blonde Phantom (see the Chapter 14 flashbacks) finally answers Saida’s question, “Why do people hate Muslims here?” thus concluding a thread begun in Chapter 5.]
[Revision 4.1 Final, 4/20/13: Character name in the new coffee-shop scene corrected from Sultana to Saida after consulting Chapter 5.]