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Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 6: Teenage Wasteland
Part 4: The Death Prayers (Final Revision)
4 september 2014.
telesphere. The official news media so abhor a slow news day that they report rumors and fluff as news.
Amanda: In shocking news out of Seattle, a high school teacher is rumored to have stripped in front of her class. The teacher has hired a spokesperson who says it was a student who did it. SPEC spokesmen declined to comment.
After the break, amazing video of a windsurfing dog!
shira’s apartment. Shira is sitting up naked against her bed’s headboard reading a book when her bedmate rolls over to face her. Cory throws off the covers. “I still can’t believe you had Leila here last night. I wish I was here”
“I needed to be alone with her. She needed me.”
He rests his head in her lap and chuckles. “If only Dexter knew.”
She strokes his head. “In his heart he knows he loves the dangerous girls.”
“Nah, he’s a wimp.”
“And you’re not?”
He sits up in her lap and puts his arms around her. “I know you too well, darlin’.” He kisses her.
principal’s office. As leaders of the Student Council and Team Valiant, Charmian and Bart stand before the principals. Principal Principal says, “You already know what kind of troublemaker Thomas is. By now you’re also aware of the stunt Blair pulled yesterday after school.”
“This is a
moral emergency!” shouts Falconer. “This school is in danger of complete moral collapse!”
“You know what to do.”
Charmian turns to Bart and pleads, “Bart, what
do we do?”
“We stop ’em, of course!” he snaps.
“And if your Valiant Team fails, will my Pretty Team have to clean up your mess
again?”
Bart snarls. “
Girls cannot do a
man’s job.
We will not fail!”
Charmian glares at him skeptically. After a pause, she says, “Very well. But don’t come begging to me if you lose.” She flounces off.
student council room. Charmian summons the Council. The councillors are still gossiping over Jennifer. She bangs her gavel to silence them and call the meeting to order.
“So what’s the emergency?” asks Debbie.
“We’re not just facing the Student Union insurrection. The most insolent and obnoxious of the rebels have actually started their own fighting team. They even had the gall to name it after the kind of repulsive whore that stalks drunken sailors in Bremerton bars—a ‘Bremelo.’” The girls gasp.
Mikey sneers, “We should just beat ’em up. Especially the girls.”
Bob stands up to his full 6′ height. “Not so fast, Mike.”
Rachel stands up beside him, crosses her arms, and peers over her cat’s eye glasses skeptically. “Yeah. We went through this before last year, remember?”
“Remember what Clover Thomas did to Rex and Scotty when they tried to double Challenge her?”
“And remember what happened to Eugene Bean last year when he tried to rape Minty Fresh? I doubt he’ll ever recover from that kick she delivered him.”
Charmian answers, “We’re not those testosterone-brained Valiant fools. Blair and Thomas are no fools, either. They already have Kubota hiding behind their skirts. I suggest we prepare for war.”
cafeteria. Bart summons his Tournament fighters. Ten of them come. “Atten-tion!”
The fighters stand rigidly in formation. “Yes sir!”
“Valiant Team!”
“Yes sir!”
“Are you gay!”
“No sir!”
“Are you ready to fight?”
“Yes sir!”
“There’s a new team that named itself after fat whores in Bremerton—Team Bremelo.”
Beck asks, “That the one with the girls?”
“Damn straight! You ready to Challenge?”
The fighters reply, “Yes sir!”
“Now go!” Team Valiant disperse.
hallway. Shira arrives at her locker as Leila turns to walk away. To get her attention, she slaps her in the butt.
Leila turns around and slaps her in the face. They stare at each other for a long moment, holding their breaths and blushing.
Debbie clears her throat. They turn to face her. Arms crossed, she glowers at them jealously. Without taking her eyes off her, Shira unlocks her locker. Debbie grabs Leila to try to pull her away, but Leila escapes her grasp and hides behind Shira.
Shira and Debbie stare each other down. Students begin to crowd around them. At last, Debbie snarls, “I Challenge you. In the ring.”
A wicked grin begins to form on Shira’s face. “I accept.” The crowd gasp.
homeroom. The feud between Bernkastel’s widow and mistress has shifted to the courtroom, making Vern Rooney the third homeroom teacher in as many days. Mr. Rooney is a former Marine and a friend of Mobley who shares a similarly low opinion of women. But yesterday’s “Red Sonja” outburst was Mobley rambling. Rooney’s mind is locked into a fixation all too common among the more macho Patriots. When he sees that most of the tutors are female, he does not take it well. He takes it out on Shira, backing her against the wall next to the blackboard. “You must be that mudblood whore everybody’s talkin’ ‘bout. You think you’re so smart. Well, guess what? You’re just a girl.” He tries to crush her against the wall with his body. “You know what women really want? They wanna be raped by a real man. You know that’s what you want.”
She kicks him in the groin. He bends over, clutches his injured groin, slowly staggers back, and whimpers. “Think what you want,” she says, “if you even think at all.” She launches a vicious roundhouse kick into his head, sending him flying halfway across the classroom, knocking him out
The girls stand up and cheer, even the mean girls. Half the boys stand with them and howl.
cafeteria. Shira barely gets to sit down with her lunch when someone fires gunshots at the front door. Panic ensues; screaming teenagers flee the lobby and cafeteria, running down the hall to save their lives; Polly and Mimi follow them. A few remain: Shira, Jennifer, the Shelley twins, Dorian, Lucy, Debbie (who rushes back for the action), and a few others.
Shira and Jennifer look at each other. Jennifer says, “Sounds like a gunfight.”
Two men in black ski masks and trench coats burst through the doors, ranting incoherent death threats and leaving dead security guards behind. They spot the cousins and point their guns at them. They recognize the voices as Tournament sore losers Ron Tremayne, who never got over his Shepherd father’s death by Rebel Styles, and his inseparable friend Don Murphy. Shira says, “It is.”
“Let’s end it before our friends here do.” Jennifer glances sideways, implying Leila, Rob, and Debbie.
“Gotcha!” Shira flits out of view and appears right in front of Ron and Don as if from out of nowhere. She fixes them with a hard gaze. “Stop! Don’t move!”
Ron and Don freeze in place. They try to shoot Shira but can’t. They try to move but can’t. They’re completely motionless, and helpless.
Dorian gasps. Jennifer takes off her glasses to see what astonishes Dorian. Her Charmer cousin is projecting a reality distortion field so powerful that she can see it. Debbie asks, “What’s she doing?”
“She’s a Charmer. She’s casting a
geis.” Debbie covers her mouth involuntarily and gulps hard.
“Drop your guns.” Ron and Don drop their guns. “All of ’em!” They take off their trench coats, which are loaded with guns and bombs. Then they remove holsters, bandoliers, anything that bears weapons. They wear black T-shirts, jeans, and combat boots. Dorian runs in and starts picking up discarded weapons; she gestures to the others, and except for Shira they help her take weapons away from Ron and Don. The Tournament losers are now disarmed, helpless, and quivering in terror at Shira’s power over them.
Shira paces slowly in front of the two boys, never keeping her eyes off them. They squirm but cannot move. A mischievous cockeyed smirk grows onto Shira’s face. They twitch nervously. She says, “Piss.”
Their bladders obey her command. The crotches of their black jeans go wet; the urine stains spread, and eventually drip. Shira revels in their suffering. Lucy runs away to shout the news; she comes back with a small group of students that quickly grows into a small crowd, all laughing at the predicament of the two who had come to massacre them. It ends only when their bladders are completely empty. Then Shira’s smirk becomes a wicked grin.
Ron whimpers, “Oh no...”
“Shit,” she commands.
The sound, the smell, and the pained look on Ron and Don’s faces betray that their colons are as obedient to her command as their bladders were. Diarrhea explodes out of Ron, staining his pants brown. Several girls hold their noses and cry out “Ew!” Lucy and other more squeamish girls flee the scene. The remaining jocks and princesses laugh.
“Now lie down on the floor and remain calm.” Ron and Don resist her command with all their might, but their bodies obediently climb down onto the floor and lie down, their legs together and their arms at their sides. Shira points down at them and orders, “Don’t you move a muscle till the nice policeman snaps his fingers.” They go catatonically rigid.
Several students laugh loud and cheer Shira’s victory. Debbie runs over to kick and slap them quiet, but Shira grabs her, spins her around, and says sternly, “Oh, no you don’t.” Debbie glares at her, flinches when she remembers Shira’s kiss, then stomps away in frustration, leaving in the direction Lucy and her friends went. Shira throws a hard glance at the others; they go silent and slink away.
Scotty comes over to Shira grinning. “Why didn’t you tell ’em to ‘fuck’?” She throws him an annoyed look over her shoulder, rolls her eyes, and casually walks away. Embarrassed, he runs after the others. Everybody leaves Ron and Don to their fate.
period 4. Algebra class. Dave Whitmer serves as the tutors’ advisor. College classes don’t begin till the 21st, so till then Shira assists his teacher’s assistant during his fourth-period algebra class.
Bart Green, who is supposed to be in history class, barges in to protest the very existence of math on behalf of the Civil Religion, accompanied by his lieutenants Beck Skeever and Rex Corson. “This is nonsense!” he barks. “This has nothing to do with the will of Jesus America!”
Shira laughs and strolls idly toward Bart. “Sorry to burst your bubble, boy, but you can’t make heads nor tails of those all-important codes that God and Bacon slipped into the Bible, the Constitution, and Shakespeare unless you know some serious math.” She sings, “Just sayin’.”
A light goes on in Rex’s head. “By God, she’s right! Bacon
did write Shakespeare!”
Bart grabs Beck and Rex by their collars and drags them out of the class in a huff.
period 5. History class. Most of the guys and half the girls can’t take their eyes off new teacher Sylvia Plame, twenty-four and beautiful, a stubborn idealist who has volunteered to be the new Student Union’s faculty advisor. She is one of Hope’s most promising (and adoring) protégées, so Shira and Jennifer greet her with hugs and kisses like a close family friend.
As soon as the bell rings, Sylvia takes roll call, and class gets under way. She barely gets halfway through roll call before Kelly storms up to the front of the classroom and pushes Sylvia around to disrupt the class. “History is bunk!” she yells.
Jennifer gets in front of her to stop her. “As a philosopher once warned, you’d better learn history, or you’re doomed to repeat it.”
“Bull
pucky! There
ain’t no such thing as history! Only Jesus America and Satan Satan Satan!”
“
Please cut the Jack-Chicky cliché storm, will you, Kelly?”
Shira stands up and laughs at Kelly. Embarrassed at Kelly’s outburst, the other students start to fidget and moan. Shira covers her ears and yells, “I can’t hear you, Kelly! La la la la la!” The other students giggle uncontrollably.
“Stop that, you idiot! Take those hands off your ears and listen to me!” Some students laugh at her misaimed insult.
Shira willfully ignores her and comically shrieks, “LA LA LA LA LA LA...” The whole class falls over laughing. Kelly storms out and slams the door.
period 6. P.E. class. Elspeth Currie, the youngest, best, prettiest, and most popular physical education teacher, is a magnificent athlete with short blond hair who towers over even Jennifer. Elsie was once a professional athlete; but shortly after the coup, whereas her older sister Amanda saved her job by selling out, she was blacklisted for refusing to take the loyalty oath. She’s the girls’ soccer coach, and half her players have a crush on her. Shira is the most ardent of them.
Shira worries that this class will go as badly as Polly’s first-period class. It goes perfectly smoothly, to her great relief. Even so, some of the students stumble off winded to the sides even before the light warmup ends. Shira notices that most of them are pampered rich kids.
Appalled at them, Charmian asks her, “How come none of your kids are tired?”
“You wanna eat, you gotta work, and if you wanna work, you gotta work out.” Shira sweeps her hand in the exhausted rich kids’ direction. “Says volumes about your kids’ chances in a fight, O Pretty Team.”
Charmian glares. “Hmph!”
Shira and Charmian do harder exercises than the rest of the gym class. They compete to see who lasts longest; they’re surprised to find they can keep up with one another and surprise the rest of the students by outlasting them. Charmian glares at the panting students on the sidelines and barks, “Get back here, you wimps!” They whimper and say nothing.
At the end of class, Elsie asks Shira, “Could you stick around in my office after class?”
“How come?”
“I like you.”
Shira grins. “Sure.”
locker room. Elsie shuts the office door behind them so no one else can hear. Shira asks her, “Is this about Amanda?”
“You love her even more than I do.”
“It hurts me every time I see her parroting Murdoch’s lies like a cult zombie.”
Elsie sighs. “I was hoping you feel the same way I do.”
Shira hugs her and looks up into her eyes. “I’ll bring Amanda back. I promise.” Clutching her one thread of hope, Elsie smiles.
When the last girls leave, they strip off their sweaty gym clothes and admire each other’s athletic bodies all the way to the showers. They pick a stall; Elsie turns on the showerhead. Shira takes some liquid soap from the next dispenser and lathers Elsie’s smooth white skin with her hands. Elsie starts to protest, but Shira gently shushes her and soaps her entire body. After washing the soap off her body, she washes Elsie’s face and hair, and then kisses her lips. Elsie sighs.
Shira winks. “Your turn.”
As Elsie soaps her body, Leila walks sadly in. The sight of Shira facing her nude and wet stops her cold. She blushes furiously. Shira smiles. “Leila! Glad you’re here! Please take off your clothes and join us.”
Leila hesitates for a long moment. She stares at the strong curvy shameless brown body facing her. She blushes deeper red. Suddenly her heart makes the decision for her. She drops her backpack, throws off her clothes, and runs into Shira’s arms. They share a long hard kiss as Elsie looks on with pleasure. Elsie begins to soap her body; soon Shira moves her into the water stream and runs soapy hands up and down her. Leila allows herself to enjoy it; she moans, sighs, and giggles.
Suddenly a panicked Polly rushes in. “Girls! Get dressed, now! It’s an emergency!”
cafeteria. Jennifer stares open-mouthed through the big window at the chanting crowd gathered outside. “Oh emm gee, they
love me!”
Now it seems all the Shepherds of the Church of America, all starred and striped, half named AMERICA!, crowd the Bangor High campus, completely surrounding it in hordes, to pray in unison for Jesus America to strike Jennifer Blair dead and her infidel friends along with her. Polly runs in leading Shira and Leila by the hand. When Shira hears the death chants, she laughs. “Holy Poe’s Law, Batman!”
Mean girls crowd into Jennifer. Christian gloats, “Survive
that, Blair!”
Jennifer rolls her eyes and smiles contemptuously down at her. “Christie, Christie. All the ’re doing is chanting ‘Die, Jenni, die, Jenni, die, Jenni, die.’ It’s not like they’re doing anything more than calling for Challenges.”
“You fool!” shouts Lady. “They’ve got the full power of Jesus America on their side!”
“They’re mighty Prayer Warriors,” Lucy sneers, “and they’re here to pray your evil influence out of our school!”
Charmian walks toward Jennifer, glaring at her. “Now you’ve done it, Blair. I thought you were better than that, till yesterday.”
Jennifer walks away and laughs at them. They are almost about to tackle her when Shira gets in their way. “Not so fast.”
“Don’t interfere, Thomas. We outrank you.”
“I’m her adoring cousin. Remember?” She attempts to kiss Charmian on the lips, but she shrinks away.
By the time Debbie comes running, it’s already too late: Jennifer has already slipped through the guards and out the front door to confront the priestly horde directly. Students start to scream and shout when they see her completely naked and walking into the crowd. Soon all the monitors in the school show her.
A few throw stones; she dodges them. A few try to beat her up; she hits them into other Shepherds, who fall into each other like dominoes. But most of them are confident in the deadly power of prayer alone. They crowd into her, chant and scream, twitch and babble in holy ecstasy—but still she walks through them like Moses parting the Red Sea, indifferently nude, untouched by their death magic. To the horror of the Student Council, Team Valiant, the principals, even Ross at headquarters, the Shepherds begin to panic.
And Jennifer laughs.
Some Shepherds scream as their magic backfires on them, some attempt to horde-attack the slippery nudefighter, some chant harder till their white faces turn red then blue and their voices give out.
All the people in the school building stare silently in shock and fascination. Jennifer Blair, hero of Blake Island, striding naked and untouched through the disintegrating crowd of screaming fanatics. And she laughs.
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[
Revision 4 Final, 8/19/12: Replotted and expanded.]
