Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 10: Fashion Meltdown
Part 3: For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (Revision 3)
Part 3: For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (Revision 3)
25 september 2014.
before class. “I don’t get how this ‘story of a murderer’ affects us,” says Polly.
“Polly darling,” replies Jennifer, “we don’t even have to be affected directly. I’m glad you take it as satire like we do. But I get the sneaking suspicion Herr Süsskind never actually intended it to be satire, not for his intended readership.”
“So who did he intend to read it?”
“Didn’t you pay attention to that last Next Top Model episode? The producers, designers, and photographers were trying to recreate that movie in the ‘serial killer’ shoot. The murderer’s supposed to be their hero, and to them he is. They all wanna be Grenouille. C’mon, he even got the Final Girl.”
“I still don’t see how it affects us women.”
“Here’s a little education for you, Polly: if the guiding trope is ‘La Décadence,’ then anything goes. And if it leads the Fashion-Industrial Complex to protect the likes of Ollie Thorwald, we women are in deep shit. Hi, Shira! [waves] How was the shoot?”
“Hey, at least he didn’t dress me up as something out of a slasher movie.”
Leila sighs. “Why do you subject yourself to such indignity?”
“C’mon, lover, I’m promoting my own product.”
“What’s so wrong with being a model?” asks Polly.
“The Fashion-Industrial Complex,” Leila says, “has a policy of tormenting pretty people into thinking they’re ugly so they think it’s really the makeup and the clients’ products that make ’em look good on camera. That policy’s caused some very beautiful people to commit suicide.”
“But you’re here with us.”
“That’s ’cos when I faced a choice between running away and killing myself, I chose to leave.” Leila puts her arms around Shira. “And I’m so glad I did, too.” She kisses Shira on the lips. Freddy Freakbeak, mounted on top of her backpack, says, “Woooo!”
school lobby. Every morning before the first bell rings, Shira and her friends trade hugs and kisses. This is highly frowned upon by those members of the Church of America who do not belong to or approve of such groups as Promise Keepers, which gets large numbers of Christian men to hug in big sports stadiums. Shira always mentions it whenever the faculty, especially Vice Principal Falconer and the chaplain, try to stop them.
But some of Shira’s friends are what her side likes to call Politically Incorrect. After Shira gets done kissing a series of male friends (Rob, Dexter, Cory, Kio, Steve), she makes a point of glomping Lyssa and giving her a big kiss on the lips. When her girlfriend Chuck sees, she nearly goes ballistic till Shira gestures her to come. Then she puts her arm around Chuck and kisses her too.
Debbie screams. Shira, Lyssa, and Chuck stare at her cousin Charmian’s cute blond enforcer, amazed at the expression of combined horror and anger contorting her pretty face. “What the hell are you doing?!”
Shira grins wickedly at Debbie. “You mean like this?”
She lets go of her lesbian friends, sweeps Debbie up in a huge embrace, and plants a monster kiss on her lips. Debbie struggles and flails, tries and fails to scream and protest through the kiss, tries to break free while a crowd of shocked students crowds around them. Eventually, her whole body gives up and abandons the protest. She melts into Shira’s body, surrenders to her kiss, unconsciously starts to moan...
Shira finally releases her. Debbie stares at her with shock at what she did to her and horror at the desires her kiss unleashed in her, desires she had been so desperate to hide for so long and which everybody around her can now see... She wants Shira Thomas. Slowly she steps backward.
Hands on her shocked face, Kelly yells, “Oh my God, what are you two doing?!”
Debbie stares at her, giggles in embarrassment, says “Nothing, Kelly, just nothing...” — then runs away as fast as she can.
Polly runs up to Shira in a panic, pulling Mimi by the hand and followed by Jennifer. “Have you heard?”
“About what?”
“About that one clique that’s been hanging with some serial killer?”
“I was a little too busy to pay attention.”
“Well, you will now. He just killed one of ’em last night!”
“What?!”
Suddenly, someone fires gunshots at the front door. Several shots go off. Panic ensues; screaming teenagers flee the lobby and cafeteria, running down the hall to save their lives; Polly and Mimi follow them. A few remain: Shira, Jennifer, the Shelley twins, Dorian, Lucy, Debbie (who rushes back for the action), and a few others.
Shira and Jennifer look at each other. Jennifer says, “Sounds like a gunfight.”
Two men in black ski masks and trench coats burst through the doors, leaving dead security guards behind them. They spot the two girls and point their guns at them. One of them screams incoherent death threats in a voice they recognize as Donald Murphy, one of the lowest ranking losers in the Tournament; his companion, they all immediately deduce, can only be his inseparable friend Ronald Tremayne, son of the late Shepherd Ward Tremayne, who never got over the horror of his death by Rebel Styles. Shira says, “It is a gunfight.”
“Let’s end it before our friends here do.” Jennifer glances sideways, implying Leila, Rob, and Debbie.
“Gotcha!” Shira flits out of view and appears right in front of Ron and Don as if from out of nowhere. She fixes them with a hard gaze, holds out her left hand in a “Stop!” gesture, and commands: “Hold everything! Stop right there and don’t y’all move!”
Ron and Don freeze in place. They try to move, but they can’t. They try to point their guns at Shira and squeeze the triggers, but they can’t. They’re completely motionless, and helpless.
Dorian gasps. Jennifer takes off her glasses to see what astonishes Dorian. Her Charmer cousin is projecting a reality distortion field so powerful that she can see it. Debbie asks, “What’s she doing?”
“She’s a Charmer. She’s casting geasa.” Debbie covers her mouth involuntarily and gulps hard.
“Drop your guns.” Ron and Don drop their guns. “All of ’em!” They take off their trench coats, which are loaded with guns and bombs. Then they remove holsters, bandoliers, anything that bears weapons. They wear black T-shirts, jeans, and combat boots. Dorian runs in and starts picking up discarded weapons; she gestures to the others, and except for Shira they help her take weapons away from Ron and Don. The Tournament losers are now disarmed, helpless, and quivering in terror at Shira’s power over them.
Shira paces slowly in front of the two boys, never keeping her eyes off them. They squirm but cannot move. A mischievous cockeyed smirk grows onto Shira’s face. They twitch nervously. She says, “Piss.”
Their bladders obey her command. The crotches of their black jeans go wet; the urine stains spread, and eventually drip. Shira revels in their suffering. Lucy runs away to shout the news; she comes back with a small group of students that quickly grows into a small crowd, all laughing at the predicament of the two who had come to massacre them. It ends only when their bladders are completely empty. Then Shira’s smirk becomes a wicked grin.
Ron whimpers, “Oh no...”
“Shit,” she commands.
The sound, the smell, and the pained look on Ron and Don’s faces betray that their colons are as obedient to her command as their bladders were. Diarrhea explodes out of Ron, staining his pants brown. Several girls hold their noses and cry out “Ew!” Lucy and other more squeamish girls flee the scene. The remaining jocks and princesses laugh.
“Now lie down on the floor and remain calm.” Ron and Don resist her command with all their might, but their bodies obediently climb down onto the floor and lie down, their legs together and their arms at their sides. Shira points down at them and orders, “Don’t you move a muscle till the nice policeman snaps his fingers.” They go rigid as if they had gone catatonic.
Several students laugh loud and cheer Shira’s victory. Debbie runs over to kick and slap them quiet, but Shira grabs her, spins her around, and says sternly, “Oh, no you don’t.” Debbie glares at her, flinches when she remembers Shira’s kiss, then stomps away in frustration, leaving in the direction Lucy and her friends went. Shira throws a hard glance at the others; they go silent and slink away.
Scotty Waters comes over to Shira grinning and says, “Why didn’t you tell ’em to ‘fuck’?” She throws him an annoyed look over her shoulder, rolls her eyes, and casually walks away. Freddy says, “Wotta maroon.”
Embarrassed, Scotty runs after the others. Everybody leaves Ron and Don to their fate.
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[Revision 2, 8/1/11.]
[Revision 3, 10/6/11: Added Leila dialogue concerning her bad experiences as a fashion model.]
[Revision 3.1, 10/23/11: Edited to fit new Third Revision continuity and for style and clarity, corrected text errors.]
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