Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 6: The Head and the Tail
Part 2: It Came from On High (Revision 3)
Part 2: It Came from On High (Revision 3)
hallway. After Shira announces her decision to the horrified Bart and Charmian, she goes to the hallway where her friends are assembling before homeroom. As she strolls away, Charmian turns to Bart and pleads, “Bart, what are we going to do?”
Bart paces back and forth in thinly disguised panic. “Call an emergency meeting,” he growls. “It’s a moral emergency. We gotta find a way to stop ’em. If that mudblood slut thinks she can declare war on morality itself, she better have a fightin’ team to back ’er up, ’cuz we’re gonna give ’er a real beatin’ if she don’t!”
“And if your Valiant Team fails, will my Pretty Team have to clean up your mess again?”
Bart snarls. “Girls cannot do a man’s job. We will not fail!”
Charmian glares at him skeptically. After a pause, she says, “Very well. But don’t come begging to me if you lose.” She flounces off.
Bart summons his Tournament fighters. Ten of them come. “Atten-tion!”
The fighters stand rigidly in formation. “Yes sir!”
“Valiant Team!”
“Hai!”
“Emergency meeting in Student Council quarters! Be there or be gay!”
“Yes Sir!” They run off toward the Student Council boardroom. Bart, feeling no need to hurry, walks after them.
While Shira watches the Tournament Leaders leave, Mimi’s friend Nancy shocks her with a hard slap. “How dare you!” Then she storms off, leaving Shira confused. Mimi arrives too late to stop Nancy.
“So what was that all about, Mimi?”
Worry is written all over Mimi’s face as she answers, “Shira, you kissed Rob Shelley.”
Shira looks narrow-eyed in the direction Nancy ran off. “She thinks I’m stealing her boyfriend, doesn’t she.”
Mimi sighs. “Nancy and I have been Rob Shelley fangirls since he first got famous back in Pretty City...”
“So it’s psycho fangirlism over Rob Shelley...”
On the verge of tears, Mimi says, “He’s totally gorgeous, and if he’s famous, millions of obsessed fangirls want to be his one and only. But now he’s actually here! I’m too scared to even say hi. But Nancy... I’ve actually seen fangirls go over the edge, but I never thought my own best friend would be one of ’em...” She throws herself into Shira’s arms and cries. “Shira, I’m so scared for her! She’ll kill somebody, or she’ll get killed...”
Shira holds her tight and lets her cry until a few of her worried friends run up so they can hug her. She says hi to them and continues back toward her cousins and their circle. In turn, she hugs and kisses Courtney, Schuyler, and Karen; then she and Jennifer throw themselves into each other’s arms and give each other an extra long kiss, suddenly interrupted when a flying backpack hits them.
They turn in the direction the backpack came from and see Student Council chief enforcer Deborah Becket, glaring at them, arms angrily crossed. ”Girls shouldn’t be making out with each other,” Debbie drawls, “especially in public. It just ain’t moral.”
Slowly and threateningly, Shira approaches Debbie with a seductive smile. She reaches out to touch her bare forearm. Debbie flinches back in panic. Shira purrs, “Jealous?”
Debbie unconsciously backs away and suddenly realizes she’s afraid of Shira. She angrily harrumphs, then turns and runs in the exact same direction Nancy did.
Jennifer, annoyed, comments, “I think she really is jealous.”
Shira smirks wickedly toward Debbie’s direction. “I think I can do something with that.”
weight room. When the pool was built, the athletes got their own weight room. This is not the one.
The members of Team Bremelo pair up and attack the weights as if their survival depended on extra strength. Colette was no fighter. They expect to fight the monsters who murdered her. They push their muscles to the limit and say nothing.
They stretch afterward. Martial artists must be as limber as gymnasts. They help each other stretch out the pain and tension. Only big Kio doesn’t join them; that’s not his style. He wanders out in a daze, still half expecting to see Colette in the hallway.
They head off to the showers and say nothing. They understand each other enough that right now they do not need words. They will get the chance to speak out soon enough.
homeroom. In Dave Whitmer’s homeroom class, the tutors introduce themselves. Shira, on the left, goes first. “Hi! I’m Shira Thomas.”
“I’m Shira’s cousin, Jennifer Blair.”
“Connor Blair. I’m Jennifer’s brother.”
“Courtney Richter-Thomas,” (points thumb at the three to her left) “cousin to those three.”
One boy interrupts, “So how come one family gets to be all the tutors?”
Jennifer replies, “Our parents took us out on their world tours, so we ended up getting tutored ourselves. Classes didn’t take an hour, so we didn’t have to take summer off. At least that’s true for me, Connor, and Shira.”
Mr. Whitmer resumes the introductions. “And you are?”
“Oh, I’m Dorian Fleer.”
“Leila Shelley.”
“Robert Shelley.”
When the Shelley twins say their names, several girls let out a deafening squee, Harumi and Nancy most loudly. Harumi leaps up and squeals, “You are Shelley twins from Pretty City?”
Another girl demands, “So how come you two aren’t still in Pretty City?”
“It’s only pretty on the outside,” answers Leila scornfully.
“It’s a great place to look at,” Rob half-jokes, “but working there is pure hell.”
“They specialize in making beautiful people feel ugly. Eventually you have to let ’em put you under the knife, and then you’re theirs till they turn you into the pretty corpses you see in rap and metal videos.”
“We couldn’t live like that. So we decided to take the risk and come up north.” Several disappointed fangirls go “awww” in unison, but most of the girls squeal in delight that the twins are now here with them. Nancy faints onto her desk. The boys (and a few of the girls) stare in awe at Leila; she enjoys their attention.
Mr. Whitmer laughs. “You’re all more interesting than I thought. At first I assumed you were just too smart for high school but too young for college. I never realized there would be adventure in your life stories. Already I like you!”
student council room. Bart, Charmian, and the rest of the Student Council decide to skip homeroom to hold a meeting to discuss what they call a “moral emergency.” Bart brings his Tournament team; Charmian brings her sisters, her cousin Debbie, and their team’s enforcers. All are present when the homeroom period bell rings. Charmian bangs her gavel to call the meeting to order, and all fall silent.
“We’re here instead of in our respective homerooms because we’re now being faced with a Moral Emergency. Remember that repulsive liberal pro-pervert group we thought we crushed once and for all? Now we hear all the peons talking about forming a ‘student union’ intended to put an end to our rightful dominion. And they’re backing their decision with a new Team they have just formed to oppose us in the ongoing Tournament. They’ve even convinced our mutual cousins to join their horrible liberal jihad against the basic principles of morality itself.”
“They’re spitting in the eyes of Jesus America!” spits Bart. “They named their Team after a repulsive whore! As leader of Valiant Team, I call a Team Challenge on their mudblood liberal leaders, and especially that filthy whore Shira Thomas! Get her!”
Bob Brinkman, senior class president, stands up to his full 6′6″ height. “Not so fast, Bart.”
His sister, council secretary Rachel Brinkman, stands up beside him, crosses her arms, and peers over her cat’s eye glasses skeptically. “Yeah, Bart. We went through this before last year, remember?”
“Remember what Clover Thomas did to Rex and Scotty here when they tried to double Challenge her?”
“And remember what happened to Eugene Bean last year when he tried to rape Minty Fresh? I doubt he’ll ever recover from that kick she delivered him.”
“Silence! I’ll hear none of it!” Bart snaps his fingers and commands his fighters, “Ignore them! I give the orders, and what I say goes! Get that mudblood bitch!”
Valiant Team salute their commander like soldiers. “Yes Sir!” They rush out the door to track Shira down.
Bob and Rachel sit down in unison. “Here we go again,” says Rachel.
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[Revision 3, 10/1/11: Dialogue revisions to enhance connections to Third Revision continuity.]
[Revision 3.1, 10/3/11: New scene added.]
[Revision 3.2, 10/22/11: One new line added, text errors corrected.]
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