Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 8: Rip Her to Shreds
Part 1: Seize the Day (Revision 3)
Part 1: Seize the Day (Revision 3)
I’ll be watching you...
The Police UNIVERSAL CORPORATION.
11 september 2014.
Mudlark House. Thirteen years ago today, Al-Qaeda attempted to transform itself into a superpower by invading American territory directly, using hijackers armed with box cutters to destroy the World Trade Center and punch a hole in the Pentagon. The civilians have not been remembered. The full name of this holy day is the Day of the Patriot Martyrs — the martyrs in question are not the victims of the 9/11 terror attacks, but the soldiers who offered their lives in blood sacrifice to the American Empire by dying in the imperial wars 9/11 inspired. Osama bin Laden, the terror mastermind who thought he was the Messiah of the End times, was eventually assassinated, only to be reborn as a nation himself, the Caliphate inspired by the Conservative Revolution itself.
The High Holy Days of the American Religion are: Presidents’ Day, Veterans’ Day, Independence Day, Revolution Day, Restoration Day, Patriot Day, Memorial Day. The militants of the Church of America protect their religion and their Sacred Nation by assaulting suspected liberals whose unbelief they believe desecrates the Nation — with fireworks.
But Willa Richter-Thomas is no ordinary liberal. She is a Fighting Liberal. When the Conservative Revolution destroyed the Republic and banned liberalism, the Law of Social Darwinism backfired on them by creating a tough new breed of liberal able to withstand relentless Party persecution. The toughest of all the Fighting Liberals wage their war of resistance within the vast totalitarian realms of the Homeland itself: the Kingdoms of Texas and New Israel, and the Corporate Republics of ConAgra and Standard Oil. Three sexy high-school librarians represent the Populist resistance in the garage of Mudlark House: Sally Hatfield from Texas, Kitty Carlisle from New Israel, and Christine Jordan from the ConAgra Republic.
Rightly fearing the worst, all the neighbours have evacuated the area for blocks.
Willa surveys the fighters of Team Bremelo like a general. “They come at sundown. Do we have everything ready yet?”
“All the firecracker emplacements are in place,” Jennifer replies.
Polly says, “They’ve got Trackers from the combat lines. You’d think they’d sniff out our traps easily.”
Shira beams proudly. “Not to worry, Polly darling. I took care of that. They won’t know what hit ’em till they step in our trap. The Toymaker will throw a fit purely out of envy.”
“That takes care of the land front, then,” says Willa. “For the lake invasion, Jen and I installed firework batteries on the roof.”
Connor adds, “We had to make it look like an ordinary roof repair so the Shepherds and Minuteman bosses wouldn’t suspect.”
“Have you guys done anything that can help us?”
“We’ve retrofitted our spud guns for rockets,” Cory answers.
“We also kludged up some barricades for protection,” Kio adds.
Rob marvels, “This is actually my first Patriot War. I know I shouldn’t, but I’m really looking forward to this.”
Sally warns, “This ain’t fun and games, pretty boy.”
“This is serious business,” Chris echoes.
“This is war,” adds Kitty.
“Obviously you’ve never been raped by Patriots,” Rob answers. “Revenge is sweet.”
after dark. “Be careful,” Will Becket had warned. But his warning fell on deaf ears. Twenty Patriots maddened by their love for Jesus America charge carelessly like mad bulls over the fence, through the shrubbery, and into Shira’s trap. Four long strings of M-80s go off around them, sounding as if a artillery barrage were pounding the north shore of Kitsap Lake. Minutemen and Moral Enforcers scream and shut their ears.
The rockets’ red glare betrays the position of the powerboats swarming up the lake. Caught unprepared by the surprise assault, the waterborne Patriots scramble to escape the bombs bursting in air and reach their fireworks. The Bremeloes carry their impromptu barricades and bazookas to the shore and fire at the boats. Boats catch fire, fireworks explode, boats sink, Patriots flee for their lives, flags burn...
12 september 2014.
school. Before the coup, this Monday would be a government holiday with no school, and advertisements would scream sale! sale! sale! But the life of the nation has been so reorganized around the high holy days of Jesus America that no-work Mondays are considered unforgivably liberal. Besides, only the rich have earned the right to be idle. People who go to public high schools are not rich enough to be virtuous.
The monitors surrounding the school lobby scream Conservative Revolutionary propaganda and Patriot Country songs and encomia to the martyred warriors who died in the crusade for eternal American dominion. It gets so annoying that some students close their eyes and ears to avoid being oppressed by it, while others run or speedwalk past. Polly complains, “Can’t they put some interesting commercials on for once?”
“Hardly,” says Shira. “Interesting people are too liberal for this brave new world, so they fired ’em all.
Jennifer says, “Why nobody’s yet thought to hijack this bank for a piratecast yet, I have no idea.”
“It’d scream ‘Typical Shira Thomas Prank!’ so loud, it wouldn’t be funny, so now’s not the time. Not yet.”
“You gotta wonder when they’ll put a stop to this,” says Kio.
“When the whole house of cards comes tumbling down, and not before.”
Mimi runs toward them in a panic and tugs on Shira’s sleeve. “Uh-oh, we got big trouble.”
principal’s office. Shira laughs when R.A. Leggett bursts in wearing a bandage over his right eye. She traps his arm in her armpit when he raises his gun. “That was not funny,” he growls.
“Yes it was, massa. You’re so having a cow right now.”
“I am not a girl!” he screams.
Jennifer tickles his ear. He squirms. “So you’re a Superpatriot Ranger from the Corporate Republic of the Fashion-Industrial Complex too? We so didn’t know that.”
Polly, cringing behind the nervous Principal, giggles involuntarily. Leggett shrieks, “Not funny!”
His arm goes limp when Angela storms in bearing her pistol and a summons. Shira drops it.
lunch. Team Bremelo and all the Richter-Thomas cousins sit together and eat their bento lunches from Mrs Tachibana. Shira is about to bite into the onigiri she holds in her chopsticks when her phone rings. This time Mimi’s in a complete panic. “Shira! Guys! Leila’s cut her wrists!”
“Have you told Rob and Fiona?”
“Yeah! They’re taking her to the nurse’s office right now.”
“We’re so there yesterday!” They stampede to the school clinic.
clinic. The nurse bandages sobbing Leila’s forearms as Rob and Fiona hold her quivering body tight. Shira runs in through the door to Leila and kisses her. “What’s wrong, darling?”
Leila cries harder. Fiona says with undisguised hatred, “It’s the mean girls of Pretty Team. They’re trying to drive her to suicide!”
“As if she’s got enough to deal with already,” Rob adds. “They’re threatening to expose her whole life!”
“I’ll take care of it myself,” says Shira.
The others stare at her in shock. Shira is unusually calm and projects her scary battle aura. Polly says, “Uh, don’t you need the rest of Sexy Team with you?”
“Why? This isn’t a Challenge. This is better.”
student council room. The open doorway frames Shira like a picture. Surprised, the girls of Pretty Team turn their heads to stare at her. “You’re not supposed to be here!” shouts Charmian. “Go away!”
Shira enters the room and lets the door close behind her. “You want me out of here, Charms, you’ll have to Challenge me. I see you cut Leila’s wrists.”
Charmian storms up into Shira’s face. “That’s her fault, and none of your business!”
Curious at the commotion, Brandi cracks open the door and peeks inside. Shira says, “I’m afraid murdering my friends is my business, and that includes murder by proxy.”
Behind her, Kelly yells, “Get away from us, or I’ll tell everybody you’re a dirty slut!”
Shira grabs Charmian tight into her arms and uses her Charmer power to project her most seductive aura. Charmian stares back in horror. “Oh, I’m dirty, all right. Everybody knows I was born a slut. That’s exactly why you want me, Charms, so, so bad.” Shira brings her lips dangerously close to Charmian’s; Charmian struggles to escape her grip. Brandi gasps. Shira lets go and slowly moves toward the door. Charmian, Kelly, Debbie, and Lucy try to hide, as far away from her as possible.
Outside, Brandi crosses her arms and smiles with pleasure. “You’re good,” she says in her East London accent. “Real good.”
“Hey, I’m the best.“ Shira winks.
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Copyright © 2011 Dennis Jernberg. Some rights reserved.
[Revision 2, 7/14/11: Mostly new material. The final two paragraphs were originally the end of Chapter 6.]
[Revision 2.1, 10/2/11: Moved from the end of Chapter 7 to the beginning of Chapter 8 because Part 8.1 was moved to the beginning of Chapter 7.]
[Revision 3, 10/13/11: New chapter epigraph added, introduction expanded, new first school scene added, other scenes edited to fit Third Revision continuity.]