Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 6: The Head and the Tail
Part 5: By Any Means Necessary (Revision 3)
Part 5: By Any Means Necessary (Revision 3)
4 september 2014.
after school. Vice Principal Falconer assembles the Student Council and Valiant Team to the council room for an emergency meeting. “Report!” she demands.
Rachel, the council secretary, stands up. Beck rushes in front of her and blurts, “That bitch and her team humiliated us! We’ll get—” She pushes him out of the way and clears her throat.
“First of all,” Rachel intones, “we’ve had a small invasion of worthless yet belligerent celebrity kids, starting with my Eurotrash cousins. But they’re not the first nor the worst.”
Falconer says, “The worst of them happens to be Shira Thomas, the daughter of Hope Reston. Not only does she have union connections, her cousin is the dangerous lawyer Angela Coyne, who has been plaguing us on Miss Thomas’ behalf, threatening lawsuits.”
“Shira Thomas may not be the most dangerous of them,” adds Charmian. “She has other cousins attending as well.”
Debbie yells, “Who died and made Karen Kubota our head cheerleader?”
“You mean three-time Cheerleader Magazine cover girl Karen Kubota?” sneers Rachel. “There would have been a national scandal had we rejected her.”
“There is a national scandal over her,“ Charmian points out. “I think the Superintendent has a crush on her, to put it lightly.”
“That leaves Jennifer Blair.”
Lucy gasps. “Did you hear about her?”
Rachel and Charmian look at Falconer. “I would be careful with Jennifer Blair if I were you, Major. Ten serial killers and three professional assassins died on Blake Island this summer, yet she survived with hardly a scratch. That makes her the Final Girl. Don’t underestimate her.”
5 september 2014.
Washington Avenue. Shira walks down the street toward the ferry terminal when suddenly a small phalanx of Killen Jokerz gets in her way. She stops. They take a step forward. She smirks wickedly and reaches behind her into her backpack.
The klownz run away screaming.
before school. “How come Bart’s not here?” asks Charmian.
Rachel answers, “He’s only a fighter. He knows nothing of true war.”
“And what do you mean by that?”
“Intelligence, not brute force, wins the war. Now, who do we need to go after, and how shall we go after them?”
“Gossip always works well. Except on Shira Thomas. She’s too amoral. And Jennifer Blair? Too potentially dangerous.”
“And Karen is made of Teflon.”
“How about your Eurotrash cousins, then?” Rachel looks at her in surprise and says nothing. “Hmm? Forgetting about Leila’s five suicide attempts in as many years? I say we start with her.”
homeroom. When Leila walks through the door, she finds half her classmates staring at her strangely and the other half whispering about her. The exceptions: Shira and Jennifer, who look around, then at Leila, then at each other. Shira says to Leila, “Come over here by us.”
Kelly gets between them in a panic. “Shira, are you crazy?” She points at Leila. “She’s crazy!”
Shira stands up, towering over Kelly, and stares down at her contemptuously. “What are you trying to pull, Kelly?”
“Haven’t you heard? The Council just issued an official order to stay away from that loony-tunes Eurotrash whore Leila Shelley!”
Shira pushes Kelly aside and strides over to Leila. She holds her tight and kisses her sweetly. Leila blushes furiously. Shira looks back at Kelly. “Why should I.”
lunch. Shira eats her bento lunch peacefully between her cousins Jennifer and Karen in the cafeteria when Charmian sneaks up from behind and painfully squeezes her shoulder. “Ow! What the hell—” Shira looks back, sees Charmian, stands up to confront her. “State your business.”
“Why are you openly flirting with someone we have specifically ordered everyone to avoid?”
Shira lets out a long extended gasp, stoops slightly, throws her head back and slaps her forehead. “I am pale, Charmian!”
Shira quickly slips behind Charmian, glomps her hard from behind and makes her squeak, nuzzles her neck. “Jealous much, Charms darling? You know you love me.”
Charmian screams. Shira laughs. All eyes turn toward them.
principal’s office “Angie, I need your help.” Shira speaks on her phone as Falconer glares down.
“I was already on my way, cousin mine,” Angela replies. “Turns out your so-called friends are attracting some real trouble.”
“Get off that phone before I jam it!” barks Falconer.
Shira breaks the call. “Too late, Major. My lawyer wants to have another word with you, and she’s already on her way.”
With a mix of malice and nervousness, the Principal says, “You have become a major nuisance, Miss Thomas. We request that you stop this foolishness, or we will have to take legal action against you—”
Suddenly, a MIB bursts in and points a pistol right at Shira’s head. “The bitch is mine!” yells R.A. Leggett.
Shira turns around and smirks at Leggett contemptuously. “And hello to you, Mr Leggett. Acting on rumors again?”
Leggett twitches. “This time we’ve caught you red-handed raping our Intellectual Property. Prepare for justice!”
Angela whips out her gun, cocks it, and puts it to Leggett’s head. “Well, Leggett, we caught you planting evidence. You’re completely irrational. Lay off, or all the judges your bosses’ money can buy won’t be able to give you a favorable ruling. Sorry.”
Shira says, “Deal with it later, please. Weren’t you a non-celebrity? You’re causing a scene.”
Leggett stares at Shira. His gun hand twitches, then drops. He turns around to face Angela. He opens his mouth to say something, but decides not to. He rushes out of the office.
“What was that for?” asks Angela.
Shira shrugs. “My guess is, somebody got jealous and decided to share some gossip.”
Seattle ferry. Late that night, an short, barely pubescent, and obviously Asian girl in tattered goth-loli fashion pays a white man to escort her onto the ferry. If Cascadia had been whiter, it would have been much easier for the ferry company to shoo her away. But Seattle, like all West Coast cities, is full of immigrants and other racially incorrect people. She gets on.
She takes an old picture out of her coat pocket. In Japanese, the Chinese characters she has written on the border read “Shiratori Mirai.” But the picture is obviously of Shira Thomas. She prays to whoever in heaven will listen that she will find Shira on the other side, and that Nenene will never find out.
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Copyright © 2011 Dennis Jernberg. Some rights reserved.
[Revision 2, 7/17/11: All new material, including the “I am pale, Charmian!” scene from the Project Notebooks and new material to fit Second Edition continuity (Karen as head cheerleader, Jennifer as “Final Girl,” Leggett in the final scene.]
[Revision 3, 10/1/11: Added new final scene to replace one to be removed from Chapter 7 (the first appearance of Ayla in the first draft)]