Chaos Angel Spanner — Chapter 9: The Girl You Want
Part 2: Making Jesus Cry (Revision 3)
Part 2: Making Jesus Cry (Revision 3)
22 september 2014.
homeroom class. Mr Whitmer says, “In my philosophy classes before the revolution, I always dedicated one class to a particular what-if scenario. For the sake of this discussion, let us assume that there is no afterlife—”
Kelly stands up. “That’s complete nonsense and you know it!”
“Miss McLendon, please—”
“There is an afterlife! The Bible and the Book of America say so!”
Dorian shoots her a murderous glare. “Kelly.”
“Sorry I’ll shut up.” Kelly sits down, puts her arms on her desk and her head down onto her arms, and mopes. The other students applaud.
“Thank you, Miss McLendon,” says Mr Whitmer. “To continue. Assuming there is no afterlife and we do not survive death, which choice would you make: one year of perfect happiness, on the condition that you must die at the end of it; or a long and healthy life at the price of perfect boredom?”
“I’d rather be bored,” says Kelly. Several of the students say “Yeah!” in agreement.
Leila stands up. “I would choose the first. If I could have that one year of perfect happiness, I’d gladly die.” Several students gasp.
Kelly snaps, “But you’ve tried to kill yourself five times already, Leila!”
“Because I was trapped in the second option, which I didn’t choose. I could endure extreme amounts of stress at the hands of the family patriarch or the Fashion-Industrial Complex or you, Kelly [some students giggle], or I could take drugs that would reduce everything to a gray blur. I nearly died of both. I’d rather have oblivion than that.”
“Miss Shelley,” says Mr Whitmer, “please explain the reasoning behind your choice.”
“Like I said, I’ve suffered the second option. I wouldn’t want to have to go through it again, even if it meant I’d never have to die. If only I could have that perfect happiness, dying would be worth it.” Leila smiles at Shira. “Who knows? I may have already found it.” Shira smiles back. Kelly gasps; several students gossip.
Mr Whitmer asks, “And what about you, Shira?”
“You’re asking me if I’d prefer dying young to a fate worse than death. Most of you guys are afraid of dying. Me, I’m afraid of endless boredom. The answer should be obvious.”
Fiona says, “If I could spend that year with someone, dying would be worth it.”
Leila winks at her mischievously. “Even if that someone were me?”
“Why not?” The Shelley sisters meet in the front of the room and give each other a big hug and beautiful smiles.
morning classes. Leila drifts through the school day in a dreamy reverie. She cannot even force herself concentrate on classes that not only are boring but get all their subjects wrong. All she can think about is Shira.
Polly looks at her, amazed; she waves her hand in front of her; she tries to distract her with friendly conversation. Then she turns to her friends and says, “I think she’s in love.”
Leila follows Shira around wherever she goes (“like a puppy,” as the girls put it). Somehow they make time and find secret places for making out. Their erotic chemistry is so explosive that no one in the school can ignore it.
Dexter looks crestfallen; at last, he realizes, he has lost Shira to someone else. He knows it was bound to happen someday, since he wants to settle down and she doesn’t. But it still hurts.
Brandi finds herself feeling jealous. She didn’t realize she wanted Shira so much. But still she is shocked by the intensity between her and Leila. However, she can’t help but feel a little lost without the possibility that Shira would turn her attentions to her.
Charmian continues to look down on both Shira and Leila. But Kelly can’t help but notice how they act around each other now. They no longer seem like mere friends. It takes her a while to realize what is going on between them, but finally the realization hits her like a hammer:
“I think she’s in love — with Shira!”
She summons up a small troop of her yes girls to confront her in the hope of forcing her to repent of her ways. Before lunch, they find her and put themselves in her way.
“Stop right there!” commands Kelly.
Leila glares back. “What do you want, McLendon?”
“We’ve been hearing some really disturbing things about you today.”
“Why does my choice have anything to do with you?” snaps Leila.
“You’re making Jesus cry! Can’t you feel his tears?”
Leila shudders with an angry sigh.
“Well, the Lord commanded that True Love can only be between a man and a woman, and nothing should get in the way of that!”
“If you remember your Sunday school lessons, Kelly,” replies Leila contemptuously, “the Lord also said he created black people as slaves for white people.”
“Well, even if you were right with Jesus, like you should be, there’s still that... that... that creature! She’s in love with you! Right?!”
Now Shira appears and comes toward Leila. “Yes, I am in love with her.”
Kelly points at Shira angrily. “I knew it! I knew you were trouble from the beginning!”
Shira leans in seductively. “Of course you did, Kelly. But you couldn’t stop playing with fire, now could you.”
“Stop it!”
“I’m totally open about my love for Leila, and I’m going to remain so as long as I know your deep dark secret, the one you’re so desperate to hide from the world. I know who you love, Kelly. And it sure as hell ain’t that ugly runt Beck Skeever. You hate me because you’re jealous.” Shira drives a hard taunting smile into Kelly’s eyes. Kelly feels a chill that goes deep into her soul.
lunch. The rumors of Bart’s involvement in Leila’s rape spread throughout the school. The “lesser” students have started looking at the Student Council strangely. They no longer think of the Council as merely corrupt and tyrannical. They whisper the word “mafia” under their breaths and out of the hearing range of the Council’s spies.
In the hall outside the library, Fiona holds her sister tight. “I’m so glad you’re still alive.” She looks into Leila’s eyes imploringly. “Why did you do it?”
Leila drops her head onto Fiona’s shoulder and sighs. “I couldn’t handle the pain.”
Fiona kisses her on the cheek. “Leila, I love you more than my life,” she sobs. “If you let yourself die, I’ll lose all my reason to live!”
Leila looks into her sister’s eyes and starts to cry. “I don’t wanna hurt you, Rob, Mum, and Dad anymore. I promise I’ll be here for you. Besides, I can’t kill myself anymore.”
Fiona looks at her sister strangely. “Can’t?”
Leila nods. “Can’t.” She can see Fiona go red with recognition.
“You mean... Shira put you under a geis.”
“’Cos she’s in love with me. Now I have no choice but to love her forever.” She smiles. Fiona holds her as tight as she can. They kiss each other on the cheek and cry together.
afternoon. Dexter agrees to meet Shira at the Bremer Student Center on the Olympic College campus. Shira’s college classes begin today, so her high-school day ends after lunch. Shira buys him a mocha with whipped cream.
He looks at her sadly. “So it finally happened, didn’t it.”
She smiles weakly. “I’m afraid so.”
“You found... her, and I’ve got...”
“You know, the moment I found her, I knew it was only a matter of time. Besides, I’m a total rebel, and you always wanted a Yamato Nadeshiko.” Dexter laughs. “But I still love you, and I always will. You’re a lovely person, and you’re just plain beautiful besides. It’s just that our temperaments don’t match, and I don’t really make great wife material anyway.”
“At least it was real good while it lasted. We had a great thing going for a while. And I got to give you your birthday present just in time.”
“Once again, thanks.” Shira smiles. “We’re still best friends. We won’t be throwing bombs at each other like my dad and Evil Stepmother.” They laugh.
“So if you’d suggest anybody I could go with, who would it be?”
“How about Karen? I think she’s even your type.” Shira winks.
“You mean a Yamato Nadeshiko, right?” Shira nods. They both laugh. “You still want that date?”
“Sure. I still owe you that at least.”
“You think this new thing with Leila’s gonna last?”
“I don’t know. But knowing her, it’ll be damn exciting.”
library. Leila sits in Shira’s lap in the bean bag chair in one of the corners of the main room. Shira holds her close. Sally takes a short break from shelving books to peek around a bookshelf at them. “Be careful, you guys,” she whispers, “y’all don’t wanna cause too much of a scene.” Shira winks back.
“About this mad love thing,” says Leila. “Have you shared it with anybody else?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I’ve been seriously thinking about it. Maybe I was too crazy, or maybe my lovers couldn’t handle it. They either fled screaming or died.”
“Hmm. Anybody else you know that you could share one with? Somebody forbidden, maybe? Like your sister?”
“No, not her. Fiona’s too sane for it. Rob too.” They laugh quietly. “You’re probably already mad for me. Truly, deeply mad, since you saw me nude that one day. I bet you even have a stalker shrine where you hide from the world and wank over my naked pictures.”
“You wanna see it?” They laugh louder. Sally goes, “Shhh!”
“What about you and Mr Whitmer? I sense there may have been at least something between you two.”
Shira whispers into her ear, “That, my love, is a deep dark secret I’ll have to initiate you into.” She kisses her on the cheek, neck, and ear. Leila laughs. “I know you’d die for me, and I’d gladly die for you too. You gave yourself to me for my birthday, which was the best present ever. I want you to live for me. Can I be your reason to live?”
“Huh?”
“Let’s live for each other. Let’s give in totally to our desire for each other so that we lose ourselves. I want you to be as mad for me as I am for you. Please?”
Leila turns around on Shira’s lap so she sits facing her and stares into her beautiful green eyes. “What about Oliver?”
Shira gives her a wicked grin. “Let’s love each other so hard, he’ll drop dead the moment he sees us.”
Leila smiles. “I like the idea.”
When Sally takes a peek back at their corner, she sees the two girls kissing deeply. Mr Whitmer told her. She smiles at them, then returns to shelving books and lets them kiss.
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[Revision 2, 7/24/11.]
[Revision 3, 10/13/11: Moved scene from First/Second Revision of 13.4 to the opening scene here and made it more like the original scenario in the early ’00s Project Notebooks; edited Shira/Dexter scene to fit Third Revision continuity; added final scene expanded from a Project Notebook scenario.]
[Revision 3.1, 10/23/11: Edited to fit new Third Revision continuity, made one other dialogue revision, corrected continuity and text errors.]
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